Whew! Well, that was a close one. We very nearly headed into Friday with a total of 666 couches, which I think we all agree would have done nothing but derail and trivialize our mission. Our mission, of course, being to count every couch in the entire world. But as it stands ...

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 12 P.M. EASTERN ON JULY 13th, 2012: SIX HUNDRED SIXTY-FOUR (664) COUCHES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

(As always, feel free to peruse this Google Docs spreadsheet and view the data in full.)

And this time, I don't have to get down in the dumps about it! Because last week, I finally resolved to stop prematurely declaring that we had counted every couch in the world. Instead, I am taking a far more reasonable tack, and estimating that we will hit the finish line once we reach around 750 couches.

Just think. Only 80 or so couches left to count. What will they be like? What will they look like? I can hardly wait, can you? Let's first take a moment to look back and see where our couches are located. I mapped out every couch we've counted so far for which a geographical location was given. Let's see whether couches are a TRULY international phenomenon!

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As it turns out, this is not an exercise in couch-counting at all. Instead, it is an exercise in staring myself in the mirror and acknowledging my hubris, my shortcomings, my foolishness. I am the grand idiot of the god-damned village, but I will stand on this crate and bang this saucepan no longer.

Indeed, the last few weeks have taught me a lesson: don't be so hasty to declare the couch census concluded. Every week I've announced that I believe we have counted every single couch in the world, and every week I have been proven wrong by reports of yet more couches, both domestically and abroad. You guessed it. I must update the couch census yet again:

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 12 P.M. EASTERN ON JULY 6th, 2012: SIX HUNDRED FOURTEEN (614) COUCHES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

As usual, the data is publicly viewable. Click here to access the spreadsheet in Google Docs.

For the first time, I will refrain from telling you that we have counted every couch in the world. It is likely, in fact, that we have not. Please see the following chart:

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I'm such a knucklehead. A week ago, after having counted four hundred ninety-five (495) couches, I thought our census was complete. I reasoned that together, we had finally counted every couch in the world.

I was wrong. Apparently, my journey to couch-count completion is not yet over, and I shall complete it with my head hung low and the soles of my feet dragging across the ground. After receiving further reports of couches from you, my associates, I must update the tally.

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 11 A.M. EASTERN ON JUNE 29th, 2012: FIVE HUNDRED FORTY-EIGHT (548) COUCHES IN THE WORLD.

Once again, in the interest of full disclosure, I am making the data publicly available. Click here to access the spreadsheet.

Well, surely that's the total. Well done, everyone. Let's celebrate with a chart:

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I'm such a fool. This happens so often to me. As soon as I think I know everything, the world comes back around and knocks me down to size. In fact, this happened again over the past week: if you'll recall, I announced last Friday that there were 453 couches in the entire world.

And once again, I have egg on my face. More of you came through with reports of previously-undiscovered couches. I hereby, and humbly, update the tally:

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 12:30 P.M. EASTERN ON JUNE 22nd, 2012: FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE (495) COUCHES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

If you would like to view all the couch data we have gathered, you may do so by accessing this spreadsheet.

But that isn't all! We have a special treat this week, folks!

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Hello, friends! It appears as though I have egg on my face again. Last Friday I announced that we had counted a total of 352 couches, and reckoned this tally to be complete. Unfortunately -- or, rather, fortunately! -- there are even more. Once again, you stepped up to the plate and offered reports of couches all across the land.

As such, I must update the tally.

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 12:00 P.M. EASTERN ON JUNE 15th, 2012: FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY-THREE (453) COUCHES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Interestingly, over the last week we have counted exactly 101 more couches, including at least one with a reclining backside (!).

I have decided, at least for a time, to make my data public. Please access this Google spreadsheet to view the full record. Please feel free to crunch the data however you see fit, and if you spot any errors in the record, please, PLEASE let me know. A faulty census is no census at all.

Lastly, I was curious about the Upstairs Couch Phenomenon. How does a couch come to exist upstairs? They tend to be heavy, so they must be up there for good reason. Some of you responded:

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Hello, friends! It's been quite a week, hasn't it? I've enjoyed hearing about your couches. We've counted futons, settees, sectionals, and heaps of junk abandoned on the shoulder of an interstate.

When I started the Couch Census by counting my couch a week ago, I was sure there were more. Perhaps a hundred more. But frankly, I was blown away by what I found:

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 11:00 A.M. EASTERN ON JUNE 8TH, 2012: THREE HUNDRED FIFTY-TWO (352) COUCHES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Thank you so much for reporting all those couches you own or have seen. This, friends, is the fruit of our labor: the knowledge that there are 352 couches in the world (perhaps even more).

I have taken the liberty of drawing up a couple of charts to show you some of what I learned, and I'd also like to make a few supplemental notes detailing the weird, wonderful world of couches. Follow me.

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Hello, everyone. I'd like to tell you something about myself that you may not yet know, and I figure this is as good a time as any to say it: I own a couch. Here is a picture of it.

There is no way that this is the only couch in the world. If you asked me to verify the existence of as many couches as possible, I think I could absolutely define at least a couple dozen I am concretely aware of. But how many couches are there in the entire world?

I'm not sure whether you're familiar with the concept of the Fermi Problem, but essentially: it's an exercise of estimation, in which you try to ballpark an amount of something that can't be literally counted in any practical manner. One well-known example of a Fermi problem: "how many piano tuners are there in the city of Chicago?" There are, of course, many things you may want to take into consideration if you try to estimate such a thing.

That might be a fun little game, but I am after the truth, not some clown-shoes estimate. This is where I ask for your help: I want to count every couch in the world. Should you be willing to help the cause, I would love for you to tell me about all the couches you own, or have recently seen. Is there a couch in your living room? In your friend's basement? Anywhere else? Please tell me in the comments. I will tally up the results, and share them each Friday.

Now, ideally I would love for you to take a picture of the couch and post it in the comments, for purposes of verification and to ensure that we haven't counted the same couch twice. But that is not a requirement. If photographing the couch would be impractical, please simply tell me about the couches you saw, and how many you saw.

In terms of definition: within reason, I will trust your judgment. Sure, a sofa is a couch. Sure, that couch in the alley with a red X spray-painted across it is still a couch, if you consider it a couch. My only restriction: please do not report on the existence of more than 10 couches at a time. Do not report sightings of couches in furniture stores. They will find loving owners in good time, and they will hopefully send in reports of their own accord. We must be patient.

So here we go, friend. You and I are going to count every couch in the world, and it starts NOW.

COUCH TALLY, AS OF 1:01 P.M. EASTERN ON JUNE 1ST, 2012: ONE (1) COUCH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Tell us about your couch in the comments. And, if desired, share a photo. Thank you so very much.

For further adventures in couch-counting, check out our Couch Census section.