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Kafei
 
"I wish I was a little bit taller."

Male

East Clock Town, TERMINA

Last Login:
5/9/2025


   Contacting Kafei


   Kafei's Interests
General

Sticking my weiner through the hole in the back of the Curiosity Shop.

Hey man, it's your own fault for walking into a place called the Curiosity Shop.

Music

Downtempo electronica and lo-fi acoustic rock.

Also Drowning Laundry Pool is a secret guilty pleasure of mine.

Movies

Disney's The Kid, Freaky Friday (72 Hours Remain), Coffy is a colorrrr! And that color is nigh-fluorescent purplllllle! Also, the Terminan bizarro counterpart of the movie Big

Television

Family Ties is the greatest television series of all time. I can never get enough of the exploits of Alex P. Keaton Mask.

Books Are great to read inside me


   Kafei's Details
Status:

Engaged

Here for: Showing off my wedding mask and talking about my sweetheart as best I can
Orientation:

A la mode

Which is also what you call it when a Muslim uses an invincibility code.

Sign: Capricorn
Smoke / Drink: No / Yes, and I HATE that I still get carded
Children:

Rub it in a little more, asshole.

Occupation: Small French restaurant



Kafei is in your extended network


Kafei's Latest Blog Entries

The wedding ceremony is soon. It might be early, but I finished my wedding mask.
I wonder if Anju has made hers. She tends to do things at the last minute, so probably not.
There is a gathering of the fellows at the Milk Bar tonight. I plan to show off my wedding mask and talk about my sweetheart as best I can.

By which I mean exaggerate my abilities in the sack as best I can.
( Add Comment )

Didn't make it to the gathering of the fellows. I bumped into some scarecrow/duck thing during the minute and a half it takes for me to walk to the Milk Bar. Then he turned me into a child, so now I'm half deKafeinated. Because reverse gerontology is the most appropriate and logical punishment for an unintentional attempt to occupy the same spacial area as someone else.

Half the words in that sentence were bigger than I am now. Shit.
( Add Comment )

Anju says when we have baby boys they all have to be circumcized.
( Add Comment )

Why is there an anthropomorphic cow's udder hovering over the pond outside.
( Add Comment )


   Kafei's Blurbs

About me:
It seems you are looking for Kafei.
...Can you keep a secret?
   Yes
> No

...Listen, when someone asks you that, you say yes.
...Can you keep a secret?
   Yes
> No

...Listen, when someone asks you that, you say yes.
...Can you keep a secret?
   Yes
> No

Hey, we can keep doing this as long as you want, kid. You know you're not allowed to even move to leave my house until you say yes and let me finish the conversation, right? You can just keep telling me no until the moon falls on us. You won't get a chance to go back to Romani Ranch and put your head between Cremia's tits while the game narrator tells you "Sigh ... you could get used to this." Because you'll be dead. We'll all be dead. All because you can't keep a fucking secret. So let's try this one more time.

...Can you keep a secret?
> Yes
   No

That's what I thought.
I am Kafei.
I was turned into this by a strange imp wearing a mask.
But I'm not hiding because I look this way. Not when I can upload 300 pictures I took of myself at different angles.

Who I'd like to meet:
I already met her!!!
<3
Yes, I have no desire to socially interact with anyone besides my wife-to-be. I just want to hold her and never let go, resulting in a nearly suspended animation in which we would eventually suffer from malnutrition and die in our prime. Such is the bond of true love.


    Kafei's Friend Space
Displaying 8 of Kafei's Friends

Bomchu Grrl

Happy Mask Salesman

Killer Bees

 ballhead.gif (2075 bytes)

Malon

Mayor Hagen

The Moon

Navi

Postman

 ballhead.gif (2075 bytes)
View All Users


Kafei's Friends Comments
Displaying 24 of 24 comments
Postman



Oct 21 2015 3:05 PM

/rings doorbell

/delivers mail

Link



Oct 21 2015 3:30 PM

/sneaks into house

Ronald Reagan Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:37 PM

Welcome to the Kafei '80s, where it's always morning in Hyrule.

Even in the afternoo-noo-noon!

lol

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:38 PM

Ronald Reagan Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:39 PM

Our special today is mesquite-grilled sushi

Ayatollah Khomeini Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:40 PM

YES

YOU MUST HAVE THE HOSTAGE SPECIAL

Ronald Reagan Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:41 PM

Terminan style

Ayatollah Khomeini Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:42 PM

YES

YOU MUST HAVE THE HOSTAGE SPECIAL

Ronald Reagan Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:43 PM

dipped in a De-de-deku sauce

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:44 PM

hey hey hey hey hey

GUYS

Ayatollah Khomeini Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:45 PM

YES

YOU MUST HAVE THE HOSTAGE SPECIAL

Ronald Reagan Headroom



Oct 21 2015 4:46 PM

De-de-deku sauce

Navi



Oct 21 2015 4:47 PM

HEY!

LISTEN!

 

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:48 PM

All I want is a blue potion.

 

Talo



Oct 21 2015 4:51 PM

This is a VIDEO game!

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:52 PM

Um, yes

Yes this is. Congratulations on figuring that out.

Malo



Oct 21 2015 4:53 PM

I got it working!

Talo



Oct 21 2015 4:54 PM

Dad told me about these.

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:55 PM

oh

Malo



Oct 21 2015 4:56 PM

How do you play this thing?

Link



Oct 21 2015 4:57 PM

I'll show ya, kid. I'm a crack shot at this!

Talo



Oct 21 2015 4:58 PM

Whoa!

Lord Jabu-Jabu



Oct 21 2015 4:59 PM

You mean you have to wave the controller around with your hands?

That's like a baby's toy!

-=JJ=-

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