Movie PReview: Prometheus

Are you looking for a movie with all kinds of twists and turns? One that will keep you on your feet the entire time? A film that will change everything you know about it from nothing to just more than nothing?

Ladies and Gentlemen, without further adieux, for the first time, here it is, I present to you: Prometheus

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prometheus is the story of a man, neigh , the story of all man! What were we put here in the earth to do? Why is a movie going to answer these questions? Where is that ship from? What is the meaning of life? Can you bed a woman by asking her if she is a robot? Maybe you will get the answer to some of these questions by paying 12.75 to see this movie on a friday at 9:00PM (be early, because we are expecting this one to sell out early!

Prometheus stars

• "The girl with the dragon tatoo" as "The religious scientist"

• The Guy who looks like the guy who plays Bane" as "The mean scientist"

• "Corporate Monetization of Consumer Loyalty" as "Ridley Scott"
  
  
• "The guy who can't not have all the sex" as "The sexy robot"
  
  

Come see this great film for the mysteries of the universe, or maybe we will ask them, and let you make your own decisions!

(Spoiler alert: you are not allowed to make your own decisions. We'll tell them the meanings in the sequel. Thanks, 20th Century fox)

(all images without further credit via upload.wikimedia.org. Thanks creative commons!)

(actor pics credited as follows: (Noomi Rapace -> Iker Arbildi ) (Tom Hardy -> Vannessa Lua) (Michael Fassbender -> Tony Shek) Thank you!)