Progressive Boink

[Richard]

First of all, it's Erich von Scheißeberg
Second, how long did it take to come up with our tag team name? 2, 3 seconds?

Well, you did put me over, so I can't complain too much.

[Alex]

The printing press for WC P-Boi FWL Magazine doesn't have that character, and our blacksmith hasn't been returning our phone calls.

[Jim]

I'll give you credit where credit is due, Stroud.

I'll give you credit for being the luckiest piece of garbage on the planet. Rest assured that I'll find that four-leaf clover or rabbit's foot you're clutching onto in a your pathetic attempt to keep Lady Luck on your side and shove that son of a whore so far down your throat that it'll give you the bowel obstruction of your life.

Enjoy that title while you can, because I'll be prying it from your cold, dead hands soon enough.

[Greg]

So, do we not care about this anymore?

[Folby]

11 minute cage match burnt out yer territory

ole anderson gonna come by and tell you about dead babies in a minute

[Jordo]

So, do we not care about this anymore?

It's the weekend, dude. Even Sons of Bitches need rest.

[Alex]

I've had a busy few days, sorry, but I'll get the ball rolling to some extent on the next show now I guess!

So the main event is set for Wrestling Event 1: Our Equivalent to Wrestlemania, Okay! It WILL be James Voorhees vs. "American Crab" Brandon Stroud in a return match for the WCPBFWL Championshp! But first they both have to get through the fourth event, INCONSEQUENTIAL HOUSE SHOW!Card details following!

Gran Illinoisio vs. Phil MV! Phil MV is pretty much a jobber, but hey, maybe he's due!

BEGGAR vs. Max Kafka! Ordinarily, BEGGAR's extreme poorness would be a huge factor in helping him win, but against the English Major that power is powerless here! I wonder if it's too late to change Max Kafka's finisher to the Barista Bomb!

Inconsequential House Show will also feature a surprise in the form of a tournament to crown the first-ever PBWCWFL Tag Team Champions! Sons of Bitches Jordan Taylor and Rusty Cooledge will take on Chris Ollis and Matt Rodrigues, while in the other semi-final match The Robots (which is a damn fine name, sheesh not everything has to be Angels of Seven Destructions) have been programmed to wrestle Brummbar and Robert Bashley! Sweet!

And in a thrilling double main event, Brandon Stroud and James Voorhees will be competing in a one-on-one match! But not against each other, but rather against an opponent of the other's choosing! Also, whoever has the better showing in their match will be able to choose the stipulations for their title match! (within reason of course! We don't need any more injuries! GET WELL SOON THE BEEJ!)

Coming THIS WEEK! Hooray!

[Jordo]

Why even bother with a tournament? It is an insult to Rusty and I that you expect us to take the long road, so to speak. Cut the middle man! Just award us the titles and be done with it. The necks of Matt and Chris will thank you.

[Jim]

I get to choose the opponent, eh? Stroud, enjoy your match against

BILL HANSTOCK!

Hey, Bill; make sure you leave me a few scraps for Wrestling Event 1.

[beggar]

Kafka! KAFKA! You will be a worthy adversary. English professors rival the homeless in wealth. But what you have in frugality, you LACK in willpower. Desire! Where is your desire? You have no killer instinct, Kafka! For all your years, you had the safety net of student loans, of a warm bed at your parents house. You know what I have had for all my years, Kafka?

My willpower. My desire. HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO STEAL A SHOPPING CART TO SURVIVE THE NIGHT? HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR SHOPPING CART TAKEN BY AN EASTERN EUROPEAN PROSTITUTE IN EXCHANGE FOR FINGER PLEASURES?

I don't think so. So when you are reading your Dickens or R.L. Stine, know this. No hammerlock, atomic drop, or arm wrench you can muster will affect me as much as Svetlana's phalanges. And no higher education will prepare you for the working class ASS KICKING you will receive at the feet of BEGGAR.

[Alex]

Also of note: Welcome to our two brand new referees! Watch for them to make their first appearances at ICH!

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

Thank goodness. I was getting tired of "Blind" Jon Bois giving me the shit end of the stick.

Chris Ollis and Matt Rodrigues YOU ARE GOING DOWN THIS WEEK AT THE ROY WILKINS CENTER

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

[baollis]

You will be the one's who are at the losing end of the wrestling match, as we shall be victorious

ps, I cut my self with a knife today and then I yelled Chris Ollis is busted wide open. Everyone at the burger king looked at me real weird.

[A Link to the Matt]

I second the fact that you will be on the lo0sing end of said match. Mr. Ollis and I will misspell you all the way to the bank.

[Alex]

Okay, just about everything is set up, I just need an opponent for Jim and then we can commence operations.

[B]

An opponent for Jim?

An opponent for Jim, you say.

WELL DAMMIT I'VE GOT AN OPPONENT FOR JIM

YES I'VE GOT AN OPPONENT FOR JIM


JIM, YOU'RE GONNA BE FACING...



!!!

[Jordo]

fuzzy dunlop

[Alex]

The office of PBWCFLW Chairman Alex Hampton has issued the following decree:

A clarification on the stipulations for the main event:

If both James Voorhees and Brandon Stroud are defeated or victorious in their matches, the wrestler whose match recieves the higher star rating will be able to choose the stipulations for the World Title Match at Wrestling Event 1.

Also, after Inconsequential House Show, all wrestlers interested in competing for the Secondary Championship, which will be awarded at Wrestling Event 1, should make their desire to wrestle for the belt known.

Thank you, and enjoy the show!

[Alex]

We begin tonight with Gran Illinoisio vs. Phil MV!

They lock up.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a headbutt to the midsection, but Phil MV
counters it with a kick to the head.
Phil MV whips Gran Illinoisio into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a kick.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a dropkick to the knee.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the ropes.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with an elbow.
Gran Illinoisio begs off.
Phil MV goes for an eye gouge, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio punches Phil MV.
Quite a few boos are audible.
Phil MV chops Gran Illinoisio.
A small "Phil MV" chant is being started.
Phil MV chops Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Gran Illinoisio punches Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio chops Phil MV.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the ropes, but Phil MV reverses it.
Phil MV misses with a clothesline.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with a kick.
Phil MV catches Gran Illinoisio in a side headlock.
Gran Illinoisio is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Gran Illinoisio reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phil MV hits an eye gouge on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV runs into the ropes.
Phil MV goes for a clothesline, but Gran Illinoisio counters it with a hiptoss.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the turnbuckle.
Gran Illinoisio hits a springboard spinning leg lariat on Phil MV.
The crowd is booing Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV takes Gran Illinoisio down with an eye gouge.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a flying armdrag, but Phil MV side-steps and
Gran Illinoisio only hits air.
Phil MV uses a face rake on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV goes for an elbow to the head, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the turnbuckle.
Phil MV comes back, but is met with a kick to the midsection.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the turnbuckle.
Gran Illinoisio goes for the Michinoku Driver, but Phil MV blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio begs off.
Phil MV gets a front facelock on Gran Illinoisio.
Gran Illinoisio is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Gran Illinoisio reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phil MV locks Gran Illinoisio in a front facelock.
Gran Illinoisio reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds.
Gran Illinoisio begs off.
Phil MV nails Gran Illinoisio with a kick to the midsection.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with a kick to the midsection.
Gran Illinoisio begs off.
Phil MV hits an eye gouge on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV whips Gran Illinoisio into the ropes, but Gran Illinoisio reverses it.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with an elbow.
Gran Illinoisio is going for the pin.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, KICKOUT.
Phil MV catches Gran Illinoisio in a front facelock.
Gran Illinoisio reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with an eye gouge.
Phil MV nails Gran Illinoisio with a kick to the midsection.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with a piledriver.
Phil MV uses a bodyslam on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV catches Gran Illinoisio in a side headlock.
Gran Illinoisio is struggling to reach the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phil MV uses an eye gouge on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV hits a piledriver on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV is going for the pin.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with an elbowdrop.
Phil MV executes a piledriver on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV is going for the pin.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, kickout.
Phil MV locks Gran Illinoisio in a standing wristlock.
Phil MV lets go after 12 seconds.
Phil MV goes for a standing wristlock, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the turnbuckle, but Phil MV reverses it.
Phil MV charges into the corner, but Gran Illinoisio moves out of the way.
Gran Illinoisio chops Phil MV.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Phil MV.
Phil MV kicks Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd erupts.
Phil MV kicks Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Gran Illinoisio begs off.
Phil MV goes for a kick to the midsection, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio takes Phil MV down with a headbutt to the midsection.
Gran Illinoisio executes a back fist on Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio executes an enzuigiri to the face on Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a Firebird Splash, but Phil MV rolls out of the way.
Phil MV catches Gran Illinoisio in a front facelock.
Gran Illinoisio breaks the hold with a low blow after 7 seconds.
Phil MV runs into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio misses with a clothesline.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a kick.
Gran Illinoisio uses a diving crossbody on Phil MV.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Gran Illinoisio hits a headbutt to the midsection on Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio takes Phil MV down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
Gran Illinoisio is going for the pin.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, shoulder up.
Gran Illinoisio goes for Fujiwara armbar, but Phil MV blocks it.
Phil MV throws Gran Illinoisio out of the ring.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: one, Gran Illinoisio
reenters the ring.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with an eye gouge.
Phil MV executes an eye gouge on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV whips Gran Illinoisio into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a kick.
Gran Illinoisio throws Phil MV out of the ring.
Gran Illinoisio jumps onto him with a quebrada.
Numerous fans are using Gran Illinoisio for target practice.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the guardrail.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a back fist, but Phil MV blocks it.
Phil MV takes Gran Illinoisio down with a clothesline.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 1.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 2.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with a piledriver.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 3.
Phil MV uses an eye gouge on Gran Illinoisio.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 4.
Gran Illinoisio is busted wide open.
Phil MV takes Gran Illinoisio down with a bodyslam.
Phil MV goes for an eye gouge, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 5.
Gran Illinoisio sets up a table.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 6.
Phil MV is busted wide open.
Gran Illinoisio knocks Phil MV into the ringsteps.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a back fist, but Phil MV blocks it.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 7.
Phil MV goes for a bodyslam, but Gran Illinoisio counters it with a facerake.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 8.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a brainbuster, but Phil MV counters it with
a small package.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: 9.
Phil MV goes for an eye gouge, but Gran Illinoisio blocks it.
Gran Illinoisio reenters the ring.
Phil MV follows him back in.
Gran Illinoisio takes Phil MV down with an Asai moonsault.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, kickout.
Gran Illinoisio goes for a flying sunset flip, but Phil MV sits down on him.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, kickout.
Phil MV hits Gran Illinoisio with an eye gouge.
Phil MV executes a clothesline on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV goes for a piledriver, but Gran Illinoisio counters it with a backdrop.
Gran Illinoisio nails Phil MV with a dropkick to the knee.
Gran Illinoisio whips Phil MV into the ropes.
Phil MV executes an elbow to the head on Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV nails Gran Illinoisio with a chop.
Phil MV whips Gran Illinoisio into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with an elbow.
Gran Illinoisio gets a dragon sleeper on Phil MV.
Phil MV tries to escape the hold.
Phil MV reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds.
Gran Illinoisio nails Phil MV with a headbutt to the midsection.
Gran Illinoisio puts Phil MV in an octopus hold.
Phil MV reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Gran Illinoisio throws Phil MV out of the ring.
Gran Illinoisio goes through the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio executes a back fist on Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio throws Phil MV back into the ring.
Gran Illinoisio brings the table into the ring.
Phil MV punches Gran Illinoisio.
Phil MV kicks Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Phil MV.
Phil MV punches Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Phil MV uses a piledriver on Gran Illinoisio.
The crowd is giving Phil MV a standing ovation.
Phil MV is going for the pin.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, kickout.
Phil MV runs into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a kick.
Gran Illinoisio catches Phil MV in Fujiwara armbar.
Gran Illinoisio lets go after 11 seconds.
Gran Illinoisio hits the Michinoku Driver on Phil MV.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Gran Illinoisio nails Phil MV with a flying armdrag.
Gran Illinoisio hits a back fist on Phil MV.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a tornado DDT.
Gran Illinoisio runs into the ropes.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with a kick.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with the Michinoku Driver.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, kickout.
Gran Illinoisio goes for an octopus hold, but Phil MV counters it with a hiptoss
.
In turn, Gran Illinoisio counters it with a backslide.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, kickout.
Gran Illinoisio executes a Huracanrana on Phil MV.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, shoulder up.
Gran Illinoisio nails Phil MV with a dropkick to the knee.
Gran Illinoisio hits Phil MV with the Black Tiger Bomb.
"Requires Corrective Lenses" Kristen Ray counts: One, two, three.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.

The winner is Gran Illinoisio. Time of match: 0:15:09

[Alex]

BEGGAR vs. Max Kafka

They lock up.
BEGGAR goes for a kick to the midsection, but Max Kafka counters it with
a legsweep.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR with a facerake.
Max Kafka goes for an eye gouge, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR hits a legsweep on Max Kafka.
BEGGAR executes a brainbuster on Max Kafka.
A small "BEGGAR" chant is being started.
BEGGAR whips Max Kafka into the ropes.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with a flying forearm.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka uses a running neckbreaker drop on BEGGAR.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka takes BEGGAR down with a facerake.
Max Kafka takes BEGGAR down with an eye poke.
Max Kafka uses an eye gouge on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with a low blow.
Max Kafka executes an eye poke on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka goes for an eye gouge, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR nails Max Kafka with a kick to the thigh.
BEGGAR throws Max Kafka out of the ring.
BEGGAR goes through the ropes.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: 1.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: 2.
BEGGAR knocks Max Kafka into the ringsteps.
BEGGAR uses a legsweep on Max Kafka.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: 3.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: 4.
BEGGAR reenters the ring.
Max Kafka follows him back in.
BEGGAR goes for a punch to the midsection, but Max Kafka blocks it.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with an eye gouge.
Max Kafka hits an eye poke on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka goes for a facerake, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR punches Max Kafka.
The crowd is cheering on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka punches BEGGAR.
BEGGAR punches Max Kafka.
The crowd is really behind BEGGAR.
BEGGAR chops Max Kafka.
Max Kafka chops BEGGAR.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka.
Max Kafka chops BEGGAR.
Max Kafka is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Max Kafka kicks BEGGAR.
The crowd is cheering on Max Kafka.
Max Kafka runs into the ropes.
BEGGAR goes for a stiff karate kick to the leg, but Max Kafka blocks it.
Max Kafka hits a reverse neckbreaker on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Max Kafka takes BEGGAR down with a running neckbreaker drop.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka goes for an eye gouge, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR hits a kick to the head on Max Kafka.
Max Kafka uses a facerake on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR with an eye poke.
Max Kafka executes a low blow on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka goes for an eye gouge, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR executes a stiff karate kick to the head on Max Kafka.
BEGGAR takes Max Kafka down with a spin kick.
BEGGAR throws Max Kafka out of the ring.
BEGGAR goes through the ropes.
BEGGAR knocks Max Kafka into the ringsteps.
The crowd is really behind BEGGAR.
BEGGAR is handed the cup of change.
BEGGAR hits him with the cup of change.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: 1.
BEGGAR whips Max Kafka into the guardrail.
BEGGAR reenters the ring.
Max Kafka follows him back in.
BEGGAR nails Max Kafka with a brainbuster.
The crowd is going crazy.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a kick to the head.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a kick to the thigh.
BEGGAR uses a stiff karate kick to the leg on Max Kafka.
The chants for BEGGAR are deafening.
BEGGAR goes for a stiff karate kick to the leg, but Max Kafka blocks it.
Max Kafka goes for a running neckbreaker drop, but BEGGAR counters it with
a facerake.
BEGGAR goes for a sleeper hold, but Max Kafka counters it with a jawbreaker.
Max Kafka uses a reverse neckbreaker on BEGGAR.
The crowd is going crazy.
Max Kafka goes for a flying forearm, but BEGGAR ducks out of the way.
BEGGAR uses a brainbuster on Max Kafka.
BEGGAR whips Max Kafka into the ropes, but Max Kafka reverses it.
Max Kafka hits an eye poke on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with a reverse neckbreaker.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR with an eye gouge.
Max Kafka takes BEGGAR down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
Max Kafka has the crowd going wild.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes.
Max Kafka misses with a clothesline.
BEGGAR executes the Panhandler on Max Kafka.
Max Kafka isn't moving anymore.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby asks Max Kafka if he's had enough.
Max Kafka shakes his head.
Max Kafka is writhing in pain.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby checks Max Kafka's arm.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it stays up !
Max Kafka fights his way out of the hold after 41 seconds.
Max Kafka goes for an eye poke, but BEGGAR blocks it.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a spin kick.
BEGGAR chops Max Kafka.
The crowd erupts.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka.
BEGGAR punches Max Kafka.
The crowd erupts.
BEGGAR goes for a kick to the thigh, but Max Kafka blocks it.
Max Kafka uses a running neckbreaker drop on BEGGAR.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with a running neckbreaker drop.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes.
BEGGAR misses with an elbow.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR with a kick.
Max Kafka runs into the ropes.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a clothesline.
BEGGAR runs into the ropes.
Max Kafka nails BEGGAR with a dropkick to the knee.
Max Kafka throws BEGGAR out of the ring.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: one, two, BEGGAR reenters the ring.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR.
Max Kafka kicks BEGGAR.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a shoulderblock.
BEGGAR nails Max Kafka with a kick to the head.
Max Kafka begs off.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a kick to the head.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a stiff karate kick to the head.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with a punch to the midsection.
BEGGAR takes Max Kafka down with a legsweep.
BEGGAR gets a sleeper hold on Max Kafka.
Max Kafka breaks the hold after 7 seconds.
Max Kafka hits BEGGAR with a running neckbreaker drop.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes.
BEGGAR hits Max Kafka with an elbow.
BEGGAR nails Max Kafka with a punch.
BEGGAR goes for a stiff karate kick to the leg, but Max Kafka counters it with
a dragon screw.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes, but BEGGAR reverses it.
Max Kafka takes BEGGAR down with a flying forearm.
"Visually Impaired" Peter Holby counts: One, two, kickout.
Max Kafka runs into the ropes.
Max Kafka misses with a clothesline.
Max Kafka misses with a clothesline.
BEGGAR executes a stiff karate kick to the body on Max Kafka.
BEGGAR executes the Panhandler on Max Kafka.
Max Kafka tries to escape the hold.
Max Kafka breaks the hold after 12 seconds.
Max Kafka whips BEGGAR into the ropes.
Max Kafka uses a dropkick to the knee on BEGGAR.
Max Kafka uses an eye poke on BEGGAR.
BEGGAR puts Max Kafka in a sleeper hold.
Max Kafka tries to escape the hold.
Max Kafka tries to fight the pain.
Max Kafka submits after 12 seconds.
The crowd erupts.

The winner is BEGGAR. Time of match: 0:12:58