A Hypothetical Discussion

[Adam]

How many 6 year old children could you take on at once?

Given:
-You're in a closed room, we'll say the size of a football field.
-There are no foreign objects.
-You are not allowed to touch a wall.
-If you get knocked unconscious, you lose, and if you knock unconscious all of the children, you win. Whenever a child is knocked unconscious, he is "out."
-Every child is intent on bringing you down; none of them are discouraged by the blood or violence or the direction the match is going.
-50% girls, 50% boys.

How many children could you incapacitate before the children were able to incapacitate you?
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[pholby]

Only 8 or 9. At some point regardless of how many I could knee in the face they would overwhelm me. If they came 5 at a time the number would be much higher, but that isn't the situation. I'm intrigued by the idea of submissions, though. If I slapped on say, a fujiwara armbar and broke a kid's arm, does that child continue to fight? I know only knockouts count as 'out', but are they on PCP, or would a ruined limb cause them to pause?

But assuming the children knew what they were doing (for example they hit you in the head rather than the legs) it wouldn't be too many.
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[Nick]

25? 25.

You could outrun them all and eventually take them on one at a time.
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[Wes]

If I had a cup on probably 30 to 40. Otherwise I woud say around 10.

Actually I am a bad ass, guys, and I could take on a million!! ROAR!

[Potamus]

THe little kids at church thnk I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. To them I'm like Santa and Hulk Hogan wrapped together, because a pack of about 10 kids between 5 and 12tried to overwhelm me and bring me bown because I had a stick that they wanted (that's right, a stick, long story). Anyway, I managed to hold out for about half an hour before their parents got tired of talking and carted them home. One of the little urchins did manage to lift my wallet during the fiasco, but I got it back, and I'm poor so they didn't get any money.

I honestly think I could take about 25-30 in straight on combat, they're not really good at overwhelming, you're not fighting more than six at a time.

Edit: six year olds only, probably 40-50. I'd get worn out crushing heads after awhile.
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Let me know when Ashley Olson is dead.

[Jim]

I'm 6'4", about 320 lbs. This isn't me doing the I AM LARGER THAN YOU ON THE INTERNET type of thing, I'm just trying to give a sense of scale. I'm not remarkably strong or anything, but I think I could take out a few dozen kids with little problem before they would overcome me.
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[Wooderson]

Probably 11 or 12 before they get together and mob me.

[Kirbyoto]

If I was just trying to wrestle them down, 6 or 7. If I was really trying to hurt them, 14 or 15. And by that I mean biting and ripping.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[dlomyhero]

[Potamus]

I'm not talking literally, "does anyone have a hanky for these brains," crushing. I'm just using that as a cool replacement for "beating up little kids". Honestly, my Mini-Me is an eight year old who wrestles, and he simply cannot get get a single good hit landed, even if I'm distracted.
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Let me know when Ashley Olson is dead.

[Bill]

I'd have to wonder if you could go on indefinitely until you just wore out, especially if they were only coming out in waves. Grab them by the legs and start swinging them around, you could clear out groups.

And if you've got a football field to work with, you could outrun them to a less crowded area if they started piling on too heavy.

[Wooderson]

Would this be like a gang war in San Andreas, where they come at you in one wave then after you defeat all of them a second wave comes?

[Kirbyoto]

Do I get a Super Attack after a certain number of kills? How about extra lives?

This thread is important because it judges our abilities should Dr. Thoughtkill's Toddler Mind Control Ray ever be completed.

I actually have a pretty good sense about this, because for a long time my little brother's friends considered me a prime target for anything. Of course, I was younger then and trying to avoid hurting them, but I could still throw them off me and whatever. Like Shadow of the Colossus.

And one of the little bastards stabbed me in my sigil.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[mysterymeat]

Considering I hold the world's title as Best Kid Killer, I think a long time.

[SundownMotel]

I think it would probably just boil down to a horse race between Jim, B and I, since we have the height, weight and endurance to fuck some little kids up. I can't imagine I would be able to knock out less than sixty children. Sweeping kicks and knee strikes alone, much less "double coconut-knockers" would make short order of the filthy young.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Jim]

And honestly, it's not the least bit difficult to throw your average 6 year-old a long distance, let alone into a pack of kids standing right in front of you.
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[pelvin]

Having been chased by vicious, bloodthirsty six-year-olds before, I can tell you that it's not as easy as it sounds. They're stronger than you might think. Then again, I'm a small guy. I could probably take five or six at a time.

[Jim]

As hard as kids can be to corral, it would be a lot easier to boot them in the face and put them down for the count. This is not an accepted form of child-rearing, however, so we are forced to deal with them in a much more gentle manner. If put in the situation that Adam has described, you no longer have to be gentle. I submit that knocking a 6 year-old out is easier than you imagine.
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[SundownMotel]

I would only fear for ripping their heads off with the swift, savage kicks I would administer.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Jon]

Are these kids ticklish? In my experience, that's the most effective method of neutralizing a six-year-old.

Failing that, pick them up and throw them at each other.