October 8, 2025

I thought I would never see this land again, but alas, I am back.  Twenty-seven years have passed since I last recorded an entry in this library.  I spent those years as a journeyman.  Only the teams without any chance of reaching the playoffs would take a chance on an old-timer like me, and since 75% of the teams in baseball have no chance of reaching the playoffs, I bounced around a lot.  In the space of twenty-six major league seasons, I amassed another 804 home runs for several teams, starting with the Milwaukee Near-Future Brewers and ending with the Chicago SpaceCubs. 

How crushed was I to learn that Barry Bonds, the man with 1608 home runs over an astounding forty-nine seasons, was still viewed as "the man who couldn't win it all Myst"?  I was so mad that I went to Cyborg Bud Selig's office, ripped off his oxygen helmet, and watched him suffocate in the now-toxic Earth atmosphere.  Nobody pressed charges, because 1608 home runs buys you a free commissioner asphyxiation.  But it doesn't buy you the full respect of the people or the history books, apparently.  The back of my 2035 Topps baseball card still reads:

FUN FACTS

- Barry is left-handed!
- Barry enjoys reading and playing sport(s)!
- Barry has never beaten Myst!

That's such bullshit.  I told the people at Topps to tell people that my hobbies include watching TV and fucking, just like I've told them every year since 1988, and it's been the same old "Barry enjoys reading!"   bullshit. 

At any rate, I'm back.  I am much older now; hopefully the wisdom I have developed will help me to conquer this land.

-Barry