FAQ -- Frequently Asked Questions

We know you have a lot of questions about your visit to Metro City. You are invited to e-mail to our Tourism Bureau representitive, who will respond within three to five business days. But first, take a look at a list of our more commonly heard questions, and see if your inquiry has already been addressed.

What's with the outfit?

Mayor Haggar has always been on the cutting edge of fashion. He pioneered the one-suspender style in his wrestling days, and continues to wear it as a momento of his past and as a part of his own unique style.

What's with the hair?

Mayor Haggar feels the look suits him, and we agree. He first came upon it while exacting vigilante justice on the whole of the Mad Gear gang, because while roaming the streets and killing thugs, he had little time to cut his hair.

What's with the shin guards?

We will no longer be accepting questions regarding Mayor Haggar's appearance.

What's with

Isn't Metro City violent? Will I be safe there?

Metro City has had some rough times, we will be the first to admit. But thanks in no small part to the mayor's aggressive cleanup campaign, we have improved significantly.

Before

After

Besides, although Metro City is still far from crime-free, any large, urban area you visit will have some minor troubles with crime. In comparison to some of our neighbors, we're doing pretty well:

Liberty City - In the grips of an uncatchable killing machine who recently used an ambulance to run down 429 consecutive people. The police have come close several times, but then he seemingly disappears while someone in the same car in a different color happens to drive by.
Vice City - Same as above, but everything's blurry and all the people sound more expensive.
River City - In a gang situation not unlike Metro City, but their gang is comprised of deformed midgets. Say what you will about our town, at least our felons are normal-sized. Except the Andores.
Sim City - Residents are covered head-to-toe in their own shit because the mayor still hasn't figured out he needs to build a garbage dump.

However, we are sensitive to your safety concerns. This is why we've called in one of our top police officers, Edi. E., to give some tips on how to have a safe and happy stay in Metro City.

this is edi. e, not edie dont call me edie, with tips on stayin out of trouble

1 dont go out at night nowhere

2 dont piss anyone off

3 dont fuck around with gang shit i said fuck

fuck how do you fix somethin on this thing

f

fafals

fuck it sheril you need to fix this thing before you put it on the computer page