I'm the Lyrical Xanga

inikamoze.diaryland.com
march 5, 2025

Okay. I guess this is like, the introduction, or whatever. My name is Erik O'Herron, and I'm a junior at Penn State. I'm majoring in anthropology with a minor in business. My dad wanted me to major in business, so I can take over his sporting goods store when I graduate. But I'm not all about wearin a tie, ya know? Anyway, I should stop dicking around and say why I started this journal, right?

Not a lot of people know this, but one of our more famous faculty members was mid-90s one-hit wonder Ini Kamoze. Of course, when he was here everyone knew him by his actual name, Inman Carruthers. Someone told me that "Kamoze" was a name given to him by a zulu witch doctor when he was doing anthropological research in Africa. But that chicks like, drunk a lot, so who knows?

So, some people may remember that Ini got famous with the 1995 song, 'Here Comes the Hotstepper." Before that, he was a highly respected associate professor here at Penn. What you probably don't know is that, after his one unexplained foray into popular music, Inman Carruthers disappeared. Vanished. Hasn't been heard from in something like 8 years. He's become an urban legend on campus. They were going to do an episode of "Unsolved Mysteries" about him, but apparently that host guy doesn't like black people. That same drunk girl told me that.

All right, here's where we get to the point. About a month ago, I was down in the stacks looking for some book for this fucking macroeconomics class my dad made me take, and I just happened to spot this weird little notebook stuffed in between two shelves. Once I pulled it out I realized it was obviously someone's journal, left there purposely to be found. So I sit down to read it and. . . I found him. I know the story. I took the book to the administration, but they dismissed it, said it was the worst excuse for a hoax they'd ever seen. But it seems to me that when a college professor from Albany up and decides to fashion himself into a Jamaican rapper, then falls off the planet, anything is possible. So I'm putting them here on diaryland to let the public decide for themselves. If you wanna tell me what you think of the page, or have any information about the stuff posted here, my e-mail is KappaAlphaLion05@hotmail.com. So like, on with the show, I guess.

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