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Help Support Cliff Bleszinski's Unreal "Tournament"! Buy the same game you bought last year!
It's got a new number! - 29.99  Did anybody ever play Defenders of Dynatron City?  That game was fucking choice.

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CLIFF BLESZINSKI HATES THESE PEOPLE:
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My favorite G.I. Joe was Quik-Kick.  He could play soccer and drink chocolate milk.  He was a Champion of Europe.  No, this is a sincere memory!  Oh I can't even tell anymore.  Handle-babble penis dookie.
Oh man, that "C" I got in game design wasn't my fault.  I made Willy Beamish by accident.  How am I gonna explain it to Dad?  He's gonna freak!

"RRRRRAAAOOWWWW!!!  I am a cat now."
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THREE

SHITMOP

NINER
Super "Big Urine" Man tries to figure out how many beers he had to drink to make things this blurry.  "Lex Luthor has unleashed a deadly toxic fog on Metropolis!" he was later quoted as saying.  "What a mother fuck."

Then I got into my car and ran him over.
Nobody here has ever heard of Progressive Boink.  But OH GEE, I GUESS SOMEBODY HERE HAD THE SAME IDEA AS YOU.  I GUESS THAT MEANS WE RIPPED YOU OFF, HUH, YEAH, THAT'S LIKELY.

What do you mean the game and the comic have been out for over ten years each, and what do you mean we didn't make that joke until a month after you?

I'm not even going to think long enough to assume that what we're doing isn't 100% original.  How could it not be?  And why would anyone assume it isn't?

Off to the Comedy Gas Chamber with you, you niggerracing bastardrifle!
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