Let's take a trip back in time together. It was 2012. Taco Bell had just unveiled the Doritos Locos Taco. I was on Twitter.
I kinda feel like seeing how many Doritos Locos tacos I can eat.— Bill Hanstock (@sundownmotel) August 31, 2012
A week later, we had arranged an informal contest. The inaugural Doritos Locos Taco Throwdown Oh-Twelve, or #DoLoThroDo if you're nasty. (We are nasty.) We -- and our friends around the country -- set out to see how many Doritos Locos Tacos we could consume in one hour's time. As it turns out, the answer is 17. That's the record, co-held by two intrepid travelers.
Fast-forward to present day. Taco Bell now has not one, but THREE different types of Doritos Locos Taco. The legend of #DoLoThroDo has grown. And it's September again. Which means it's time to rock.
So THIS SATURDAY ... yes, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, we are doing it again. Presenting Doritos Locos Taco Throwdown Oh-Thirteen. This time, it's personal.
What: DORITOS LOCOS THROWDOWN OH-THIRTEEN
When: Saturday, September 28, from 7 p.m. ET - 3 a.m. ET
Where: The Internet
The Rules: AT ANY TIME within the time parameters listed above, when you first begin eating tacos (FROM THE TIME OF YOUR FIRST BITE), you have ONE HOUR to see how many Doritos Locos Tacos you can consume. When time's up, you're done. Partial tacos must be counted as partial tacos. YOU MUST PROVIDE PROOF, whether it be an Instagram of your discarded taco sleeves, step-by-step Twitpics of your journey, Vines, live streaming video, whatever. We encourage as much documentation as possible.
PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO ORDER "SUPREME" DORITOS LOCOS TACOS. WE ARE NOT MANIACS.
Both Twitter and this post are the two official places for you to post said documentation. If posting proof on Twitter, you must tweet said proof to either @sundownmotel or @sorryeveryone and use the hashtag #DoLoThroDo. If posting proof in the comments below, just go crazy. We trust you.
As previously mentioned, there are THREE types of Doritos Locos Taco, which brings some variety and/or difficulty levels to the proceedings. Here is a guide to the particulars:
Cruiserweight Division: Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos. The Cool Ranch has the mildest taste of any of the three available flavors, which means you can probably scarf them down more easily than the rest. This is the chump division. (No offense, chumps.)
Middleweight Division: In eating challenges, it is easier to eat a lot of things if you are able to mix up the "flavor profile." Thus, a mixture of MORE THAN ONE TYPE of Doritos Locos Taco is the middle-of-the-road challenge. If you're uncertain about how to proceed, we recommend this option.
Heavyweight Division: The original, the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco. Nothing compares 2 u.
Superheavyweight Division: As when the UFC unveiled the disastrous "Ultimate Ultimate" tournament, so too did Taco Bell unveil their most formidable Doritos Locos Taco, the "Fiery" or "Flamas." This is the most intense taste. Recommended only for the most reckless competitor.
Lactose-Intolerant Division: All of these tacos include cheese not just ON the taco, but in the VERY SHELL. We don't want to exclude anyone, so we are happy to let you order Fresco Style tacos, but at a FOUR-TACO HANDICAP. We are sorry, but we want to be fair to all involved.
Vegan/Vegetarian Division: You guys get your own competition! Black Bean Burritos (with or without cheese), Fresco Bean Burritos, Crispy Potato Soft Tacos (with or without cheese and sauce), whatever you want, just pick ONE ITEM and EAT THE MOST OF IT THAT YOU CAN WITHIN AN HOUR. We want everyone to be eating things. BE A CHAMPION.
- It's better to order at a restaurant. Trust us. You don't want your DoLos getting soggy and cold. Have a runner order you more as necessary
- Don't starve yourself during the day leading up to the event. That just makes you fill up immediately
- Discretion is the better part of valor. Don't cause a pants-accident because you want to be a big shot on the Internet
Is yours for the taking. Can you top 17 nacho cheese Doritos Locos Tacos? Can you be this year's overall winner? Guts: d-d-d-do you have it?
See you on Saturday for #DoLoThroDo. And we'll have a postmortem (hopefully not literally) on Monday. Stay safe. Stay eating tacos. Live mas.