Hey y'all, it's Jon. Kyle normally writes these, but he's 347 episodes into an "Andy Milonakis Show" marathon and has requested not to be disturbed.
This was a week full of great and funny stuff that I recommend you read! Here they are:
The Next Evolution Of Little Caesars. These days, Little Caesars is simply known as the pizza you eat while you drive around and cry. But changes are around the corner! Bill outlines their marketing strategy over the next decade.
The Dada iPhone App Store. After identifying consumer needs that have not yet been fulfilled, we at Progressive Boink have decided to open an iPhone app store! Or at least we would, if the knuckleheads at Apple would give us the green-light.
Lance Armstrong Probably Doped, pt. 1. Cyclist, and doper, Tom Simpson, falls off his bike in the middle of the race. "Put me back on my bike," he tells spectators. They do, and then he falls over dead. Pete recounts this and several other tales of riders who have doped throughout the history of cycling.
Lance Armstrong Probably Doped, pt. 2. Pete concludes by gathering all the evidence that Lance Armstrong doped, even though we'll probably never be able to prove it.
Twitter Twuesday: The Search For The Most Unintentionally Funny Twitter Account. Corporate Twitter accounts are terribly depressing. Kyle's gonna look at one each Tuesday, and he starts here with Pizza Hut.
The Wire Of Intrigue: Season Three. Kyle offers an immaculately-written summary of Season Three of television's white-knuckle action thriller, The Wire: "Ringer Bell was also many-sided and studyed algebra at Community College University but also killed people but also read "Tuesday's With Morry" but also dealed Drug. But now he was dead as a doorknob."
No One Cares About Adam Carolla. Mr. Carolla found himself in some shit this week after his comments on women and humor hit the news cycle. Kyle gives him the business proper. "Carolla is right that most women aren't funny -- but that's only because most people aren't funny."
The 10 People You'll Meet At Church Youth Group. Bill, a hardened veteran of the church youth group game, describes "The Pastor's Kid," "The Guy Who Is A Bratty Dick At School, But Cries During Prayer," and everyone else you're guaranteed to meet. Trust me, this was right on the money.
some couch thing. who cares