Introducing Progressive Boink's Dada iPhone App Store. While there may be hundreds of thousands of iPhone apps on the market, we have identified a great number of possible apps that do not yet exist, and we aim to cater to every consumer need that is not being met.
These apps do not actually exist yet because we are bad at computers and business. If you are good at either/both of these things, please let us know so that we can collaborate our effort and make big buck$.
Had it up to here with former Blue Jays and Tigers infielder Lloyd Moseby? Who hasn't? For one, he hit 24 doubles in 1986. And as though that weren't enough, he played 155 games in 1987. Good grief! Enough already!
If you've been looking to plan your commute to work, your trip to the store, or even a walk to the local coffee shop so as to avoid a chance encounter with Lloyd Moseby, LloydAvoid is for you:
We plan to work with local businesses to make the LloydAvoid app the No. 1 Lloyd Moseby-avoidance app in the iPhone store. Every 10 minutes, we will push a mass-email to every business on our mailing list, asking them to confirm or deny whether Lloyd Moseby is currently patronizing their establishment. If they confirm that Moseby is not present, a "no Moseby" icon will appear on Google Maps above the establishment in question.
Of course, given the massive scope of this undertaking, we cannot determine every single location in the world that is absent Moseby. As a means of filling in the inevitable gaps, we will rely on a passionate community of users to submit their own reports, which will also be made available within the app.
Despite these countermeasures, we still cannot guarantee you a Lloyd Moseby-free day while using our app. In fact, we estimate that Moseby holds upwards of a dozen conversations with people on a daily basis.
If you end up encountering Moseby by chance, how are you going to make conversation? I mean, the man was born in California and recorded 737 career RBI. What are you supposed to say to a guy like that? In order to avoid an awkward conversation, simply shake your iPhone as discreetly, but firmly, as possible. An emergency menu will pop up, offering you a wealth of conversation-starters.
We would like to release this app by Q2 2013, and are currently gathering investment capital in pursuit of this venture.
This is a work in progress. If you, the end user, have any suggestions or critiques, we would love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below and tell us how to make our product the best it can be.