The Ongoing Explain a Joke Thread

[Clayton]

I love Threat Matrix, but both "The Love Song of J. Alfred Muggs" and "Li'l Ned and Mr. Tightsqueeze" confuse me to hell. Could some kind soul break these down for me? Kyle?

[SundownMotel]

You're on your own with "Muggs", but as far as "Tightsqueeze" goes, I think it's poking fun at every comic strip from roughly the 1920s to the late 1960s, which would consist of a character delivering a decidedly un-funny punchline, which would result in the "straight man" tumbling over backwards at having been given "the business".
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Kyle]

I'm on it. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" is a poem by T.S. Eliot that I like, and J. Fred Muggs was a chimpanzee that used to appear on the early days of the Today Show in the '50s. Their names are similar; I don't really know if there's a joke per se beyond that, but it's one of my favorite strips I've done nevertheless.

In old comics, from the late 1800s up until the '60s (and you'll still see it ironically used in some comics today), there was a convention of having characters fall backward in a puff of dust when they were surprised by a purportedly clever quip, which were often very bland and not shocking in the least. So there's Li'l Ned, some charming little street rat, probably a newsie or a bootblack or a pickpocket, and Mr. Tightsqueeze, a mean ol' miser. The joke is that when Li'l Ned makes some lame half-joke in the vein of '20s comic strip quips, Mr. Tightsqueeze falls, breaks his neck, and dies.


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WHEN THE AFRICAN LION ATTACKS

[Clayton]

Thanks guys.

[Adam]

"Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" is one of my favorite poems, and "J. Alfred Muggs" is one of my favorite Threat Matrices.
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[K-Funk All-Star]

So here's one from the old forum I never quite understood.

The whole Cookie Monster emoticon. What was the point of that? Like, if I said something and someone threw that up in response, how am I supposed to take that? I don't understand.
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[SundownMotel]

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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Mike]

The best way to explain the Cookie Monster emoticon is to tell you how it started.

One week, one of our REAL ACTUAL Search Engine Strings was bush is not my president wristbands, which, for the curious, led them to one of my favorite Nick posts on here, the Breeds of Music Fans.

Later that week it brought some kid to the main page, & he registered to the forum as "mofomikeman" to inquire about where he could get a Not My President wristband.

Jon was the first to reply & simply posted this emoticon:



That, as far as I'm concerned, was the best possible way we as the Progressive Boink staff could've possibly handled that.

Afterwards mofomikeman posted that he didn't understand Jon's response. Jon's reply to this?



So everyone quickly began using Cookie Monster as a "...and there you have it, ladies & gentlemen" emoticon until it died like a played-out single.

Fun fact: Cookie Monster also appeared in an appreciation thread for forum member Frank Stallone, a rabid fan of At the Drive-In & the Mars Volta, to which I replied:

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[Berkley Mist]

Where did the whole "a quote from so-and-so the movie" stuff come from?

[Lindy]

https://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/moviefone.htm
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shrieking raccoon on a jetpack

[Jon]

That seems to be one of my more popular articles, but I can't read it without cringing. It just reads as so sloppy and incohesive to me.

[Nick]

Put your glasses on.
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[Kirbyoto]

No article that contains

[Ragingape]

[Bismark]

I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure I've seen it twice.
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[Mike]

The Fabulous Destiny of Mike Fireball: Based on a True Story

You might know it by its French Title: Aerolyte
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[B]

[Ragingape]

Which "Ski Patrol"? IMDB lists a 1990 and a 1940 version of said film. (I just looked to see if that was a real movie.)

I was really hoping that such scene actually existed. Now I'm pissed that it doesn't.

I actually had to listen to a person I know describe to me why "Pitch Black" was a good movie.

[Justin]

[endlessmike]

SPOILER ALERT!

i thought that the snowboarders were taking out terrorists by yelling WHOOO and skiing really fast...or so the trailer had me believe. thanks for ruining it.