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Zspacejc
CUP OF WATER
Joined: 12 Oct 2025
Posts: 18
Location: New Jersey
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Fri Oct 14, 2025 4:33 pm
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| "I am Interfaced" from the Tatoo Assassin's Article. Those three simple words had me laughing hystericly for no tangible reason. |
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Bill
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 781
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| Posted:
Sat Oct 15, 2025 12:43 am
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| Rusty Cooledge wrote: |
Also, one of my first mark out moments of many on P-Boi of I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT I CANT BELIEVE HE MADE THAT JOKE from Bill's Mario on Ice article.
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| I can only assume it stars Hulk Hogan as a former wrestler turned housekeeper who gets into wacky situations trying to maintain a household while entering a fighting tournament so he can beat the shit out of his daughter to protect her from getting the shit beat out of her. |
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Thank you for making me feel better. I always debate with myself whether this or that reference will confuse too many people to be worth it. |
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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| Posted:
Sun Oct 16, 2025 5:44 pm
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It helped that you posted a picture with it. Even so, I can imagine it could go over people's heads. I mean, I knew it because I PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORDS IN DEAD OR ALIVE.
As opposed to, you know...
...the entire reason for Extreme Beach Volleyball. I cannot stand that game. You never see "Soul Calibur Tennis" or "Tekken Tag Tournament Where Tag Refers To The Game Played, Not The "Tag" System of Combat".
Also, I would not be surprised to see "Hulk Hogan" crossed out and "BASS" written over them in the DOA manual. I mean, they're not even trying to disguise it. Maybe he could've at least been like a martial artist or a ninja or something.
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Rusty Cooledge
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 432
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Sun Oct 16, 2025 8:08 pm
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The stories in DOA are bullshit all together. Bass's ending story is him being a dumbass and suplexing his motorcycle, then as he fixes it his daughter drives past.
Fuck that shit.
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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Sun Oct 16, 2025 8:49 pm
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I did not say that paying attention to the story was a good thing. I just said it was uncommon.
Seriously, what do these guys do for their design?
"Fighting."
"..."
"...Ninjas."
"...Boobs? Boobs. Yeah."
"DO YOU TO BE REMEMBERING HULK HOGAN?!?"
"Wait, did I already say Ninjas?"
Hey, and I got back on topic, too. Sort of. I mean, really sort of. Also,
| Nick wrote: |
The Son(s): Rebellious and always out to make a dollar. Usually The Son(s) will be the most interesting part of your show. They get into the most trouble and usually come away with the most profit, be it money or the like (girls, a TV spot, etc.). Your Son(s) should also frequently say the word ?sucks?. All the baby boomers know about younger males is that they say ?sucks? a lot.
Mother: ?Do your chores!?
Son(s): ?This sucks!?
Essential. |
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Blind Jack
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 777
Location: Behind Camille.
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| Posted:
Tue Oct 25, 2025 8:25 am
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| Barbie and Barbara Millicent Roberts wrote: |
I sensed a segue. Do any fucking black-haired people come to these things?
The hue of the raven is the stigma of the styleless.
I was not aware.
Mon chapeau a fondu. Il y a des si?ges de toilette sur mes oreilles. Donnez-moi le vin.
What does that mean?
"Hi."
That's an awful lot of words to say hi.
They are a very inefficient people.
I've heard that. Let's see what else I've got in here. |
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Nothing stops Eddie Guerrero.
Nothing stops him. He is fire. |
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Lindy
What a Fool Believes
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 948
Location: down by the water
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Sat Oct 29, 2025 2:46 pm
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These were some of the things that made me laugh from some of the more recent additions to the site:
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| 1. Styrofoam peanuts which Mother had promising us to make into Styrofoam peanut butter ! |
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CHUCK: Look at him. Does everybody on the Phillies have the same exact goofy grin?
CHRIS: Maybe it's just the players named James.
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Amd these from B's latest which I don't think got nearly enough attention, but maybe I'm just a sucker for puns and literary humor:
| B wrote: |
| "Have You Heard?" which I don't know much about |
| B wrote: |
| Sylvia Plath's vagina was silver and exact; it had no preconceptions. |
| B wrote: |
| Other major changes to the story see Miss Havisham replaced by Eric Bischoff's sister Ms. Nora Dinsmoor, a scene where Ethan Hawke tears his shirt and screams ESTELLAAAAAAAA, and the old cake is replaced by a very dark-skinned transvestite doing vogue. |
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shrieking raccoon on a jetpack |
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Rusty Cooledge
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 432
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Sat Oct 29, 2025 5:35 pm
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It's a picture I know, but Gay Ass Bullshit Land by Barry Bonds is fucking classic. Makes me laugh every fucking time I stumble upon it in my pictures folder.
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Rusty Cooledge
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 432
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Wed Nov 02, 2025 2:34 pm
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While refreshing my memory of previous Event articles I came upon some of my favorite lines from ****'s Blog.
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PLEASE I AM SETTING UP CHAIRS FOR A MEETING
NOW THE DIGNITARIES WILL NEVER MEET |
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bitchfukk_****: Hey guys. There's something I need to talk about.
bitchfukk_b1tchb0y: Thomas Haden Church are u gay
bitchfukk_josh: Thomas Haden Church ur comming out of the closet???????
bitchfukk_ben: French mayonnaise |
Fucking brilliant.
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| DaDeO: fuck this gay shit i'm out |
I've been ending every IM convo I've had over the last few months with that.
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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Thu Nov 03, 2025 10:52 am
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| Jon wrote: |
Director. Okay. Okay, this is good. Free association time. Say out loud whatever comes to you when you think of a Ray Charles-themed pregame show.
Creative Associate #4. Blind people!
Creative Associate #5. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Piano!
Creative Associate #2. Blind people!
Creative Associate #4. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Blind people!
Creative Associate #5. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Piano!
Creative Associate #2. Piano!
Creative Associate #4. Blind people!
Creative Associate #2. Blind people!
Creative Associate #5. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Piano!
Creative Associate #2. Blind people!
Creative Associate #4. Piano!
Creative Associate #5. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Piano!
Creative Associate #2. Piano!
Creative Associate #4. Blind people!
Creative Associate #1. Blind people!
Creative Associate #5. Piano!
Creative Associate #1. Piano!
Creative Associate #4. Piano!
Creative Associate #2. Blind people! |
| B wrote: |
| Kingdom Hearts is a video game that lets you fulfill all of your Disney and Squaresoft fantasies, like seeing Squall and Cloud fight together, or using a giant metal key to beat Hercules in the face until he dies. |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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| Posted:
Sat Jan 28, 2026 4:52 pm
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bump
Some that made me laugh today while I browsed the archives:
| Emily wrote: |
| And, on an unrelated note, why does Vanessa Carlton get to be famous when she looks so much like Mac Tonight? |
| Nick wrote: |
| Seriously. Choo-choo train? I’ll kill you. |
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Ragingape
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 08 Sep 2025
Posts: 231
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 30, 2026 5:48 pm
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| B wrote: |
Michelle: Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats!
Audience: AWWWWWW!!!!!!! |
| Mike wrote: |
| If your parents don't like your new girlfriend, it's only because they are evil & want to take over the world. Don't listen to a word they say. |
| Jon wrote: |
| He replayed in his head what he had said aloud to the defensive coaches all season: "Aren't I competing against another man? Can I stare down this piece of turf until it looks away?" He knew that, "You had better get the punt team ready, unless, of course, you leave the particular zone I am liable for, in which case I personally pull no weight in the matter" just wasn't as poignant. |
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Edam
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 23 Jan 2026
Posts: 142
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Mon Mar 06, 2025 1:04 am
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Award for most sincere line:
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Mike Wrote:
For years I've enjoyed staring at the night sky. I don't get to see a lot of stars, but the moon on a clear night sky is always something I've held dear. It's one of my favorite things about working early mornings. I get to start my day pressing the C-stick on my neck upward to look at the real life sky in real life. |
And the Nominee for best masturbation reference are:
Jon:
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| Regardless, it's an amazing six-minute track with two awesome guitar solos. I can't listen to this in the car anymore, because when I do I masturbate furiously until I veer off into a ditch. |
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| Try to get the live track. It's about twelve minutes long, and it's one of those songs that makes you feel good inside. Like you're at a barbeque on a summer daywith all your best friends, instead of lying on your bedroom floor and masturbating into a paper bag in the middle of January. |
B
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| "[masterbating to Selma Blair is like masterbating to...] After its defeat in World War I, Germany was FAP FAP FAP humiliated by the Versailles Treaty, which reduced its prewar FAP FAP FAP territory, drastically reduced its FAP FAP FAP armed FAP FAP FAP forces, demanded the recognition of its guilt for the war, and stipulated FAP FAP FAP it pay FAP FAP FAP reparations to the allied powers. FAP FAP FAPOH OH GOD" |
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Edam
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 23 Jan 2026
Posts: 142
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Mon Mar 06, 2025 1:17 am
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Personally, I think Emily's entire archive is worth quoting all day, everyday, but this one for some reason squeezes into my head and makes me laugh out of nowhere:
"Features the hit single: 'The Old Man Down the Road.'" Oh right, of course. I don't remember the last time I was hanging out with some friends, cooking some brats on the grill, throwing the ball around the diamond, and listening to "The Old Man Down the Road." Or hey, remember that really awesome sports movie that used "The Old Man Down the Road" to illustrate the protagonists' desire to be given a chance to prove themselves? Of course you do!
If I ever become a filmmaker I'm so shooting a scene featuring an old man standing along the side of the road while "Centerfield" plays. And no one will get the joke but you guys. Awesome."
Better living through B's albumn collection |
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pholby
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 690
Location: schmocation
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Mon Mar 20, 2025 11:02 pm
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Every so often I go back and read the Jumping and Standing forum, and it's always as funny as the last time I read it.
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THE OLD BALL AN CHAIN LET ME HAVE IT THAT EVENING SHE SAID "THAT MUG WAS FOR YOU MURRAY" AND I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES |
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i built a sturdy ship
i sailt out to sea
and when i thought mine anguish gone
i found it followt me |
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"
"Woah woah woah." |
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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| Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2025 11:45 am
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| In the Ready.gov Kids Korner, Bill wrote: |
* "My house is fine. It is sturdy and built well. It has simply been moved."
* "The fire of a thousand suns is laying waste to all I cherish under the looming visage of Lucifer's dark fist. I am under a table. I am safe."
* "I did not just eat my dog. My dog is fine. That was a chicken. Many chickens have fur." |
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