3/21, see you guys later

[B]

After the mildly negative feedback of last week, we have decided to update our website!

Abortion, Steven Seagal, and The Hanging Out Gang. Our biggest guns.

https://www.progressiveboink.com/

Enjoy.
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[Frank Stallone]

Two things people know about me: I rarely post in this forum. I hate B.

That said, B's abortion thing was absolutely awesome. The line about Dyson/vacuums was stunning.

See you in the car
- Frank Stallone
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I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES

GATHER ROUND THE GOOD STUFF INDEED

[B]

That's the best feedback I've ever gotten. Thank you sir.
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[Lindy]

[Jim]

Ok, this whole update was the fuckin' bee's knees.

First of all, THOG was very surreal and very funny.

Secondly, the abortion booklet was fucking phenomenal. I nearly pissed my pants when I saw the "RVD" sign. I was crying from start to finish.

And finally, I wasn't crying from start to finish with just one article this week, because Bill blew my socks off. I must preface this by saying that I love the old Seagal movies. I own at least a half dozen of them. I think they're hilarious and awesomely over-the-top, so I have a soft spot for Seagal. Secondly, I had the "pleasure" of hearing Girl It's Alright about three years ago, so I had some exposure to the music. But Christ on a cracker, Bill. I don't know if there's anyone or anything on the planet that is as consistently funny as your writing.
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[Wes]

THOG blew my mind.
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[dlomyhero]

holy shit @ rvd sign

holy shit @ hydrangea bushes

holy shit @ the neverending THOG
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment.

[Kirbyoto]

My favorite parts from each article:

Who Killed Junior?: A slime draws near! Also the robot from Lost in Space.
Spelunking the Crystal Caves: Steven Seagal is mildly disgusted that the diseased girl has not cured herself yet.
THOG: Your life flashes before your eyes from a frisbee. Also the frisbee-comes-at-you sequence.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[Adam]

THOG:
Props to Jon and Justin for managing to do something completely different with THOG, but at the same time do the exact same thing they do every single time so as not to ruin the humor.

B:
Hilarious. Everything you do is funny to me, which has earned you comedic tenure in my book. Do whatever the hell you want. I'll support it. It wasn't anything earth-shattering and it certainly wasn't the funniest thing you've ever done, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Bill:
Stop fucking whining. Every time you write an article, you usually follow it up somewhere with "Oh I'm such a bad writer and I'm boring and I'm worthless." It was good. I enjoyed every word I read. I was 10 minutes late to my Philosophy class today because I didn't want to stop reading in the middle. This has been the single most backhanded compliment I've ever given, you mother fucker.
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[Kirbyoto]

believe in yourself or i swear to god i will kill you
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[Emily]

B's post was better than a drunk kitten on Christmas.
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I am the black Jim Thome.

[K-Funk All-Star]

So why can't the Joshes come? I'm going to be wondering about that for the rest of the day, now.

Bill and B - good work on your stuff, too.
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[lambeaumacaoidh]

I didn't like the hang out gang. It was just a little too "bizzare funny" and I'm strange enough myself not to find that clever. B's article had a few ha-ha moments but, I mean...well, I just didn't laugh that much.

The Steven Seagal article was brilliant, though.
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Lambeau MacAoidh

[Bill]

[Bismark]

No, but you've talked in the past about how you think you're a terrible writer and how you can barely bring yourself to present what you've written to post here, but this update is further proof that you should shut the fuck up with that noise and pay attention to us thanking you profusely.

B's comic was fantastic. A slime draws near! And a perfect amount of subtle opinion at the end. Well-crafted.

THOG made me piss myself. It's normally funny, but THOG trying to do something existential was just amazing.
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[Ragingape]

Good week all around.

B, your ability to comment on social issues while making jokes about Die Hard was amusing. I was glad there wasn't a lot of tasteless dead baby jokes as well (not that I would expect that from you, B, but I would expect it from the rest of the internet).

[Justin]

Thanks guys. Jon and I both agree that THOG has allowed us to be more creative than anything else we've done. Within the construct of a comic about a bunch of easy going college kids we've managed to develop a themesong, write a director's commentary, program the greatest game known to man, and contemplate existential belief.

I'm glad there's a group of people willing to enjoy the random and bizarre stuff we're constantly laughing at, ourselves.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[idsunki]

I thought with the life-flashing-before-yer-eyes bit that you were going to kill off THOG and be done with it.

I, for one, am glad that particular caveman has not decided to lay down his giant club just yet.
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Never let scoundrels dictate the terms of honor to you. They'll always use it to manipulate good men into doing stupid things.

[escrew7]

B anything that references Voltron is a winner with me, but doing that whilst talking about abortion, impressive.
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We didnt start the Fire!!

[TheEvilGingivitis]

That fetus looked more like Charlie Brown than Ziggy.

Great stuff this week. I didn't like the Steven Seagal article as much as the others, though. I can't put my finger on why, though.