please help, thank you

Hey, I collected the songs from the holiday mixtape on spotify if anyone wants to listen! I only took the songs from the titles, I'll add the other songs referenced inside at the end.

GO SPILLY HOLY CRAP

Hey, y'all. Yesterday I made my debut at VICE Magazine. You see, a New York Times article on Julian Assange included an allegation by a former roommate that he refused to flush the toilet. My story is about that. Hope you enjoy!

Hi, friends. You may have noticed we took yesterday off. We were too busy laughing at this Washington Post story, which includes the following passage: When one reporter asked if his house guests were named Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty — the two most-buzzed-about potential vice presidential candidates — he just laughed. "Ha, ha, ha, ha," Romney said. But now we're back and ready to carry on our mission of getting people to visit our site for anything other than the Rob Liefeld list entertain you fine folks! Enjoy.

Today, as I do on every Friday, I rounded up the best animated sports GIFs from the last week, and put them to a public vote. One of them made me very sad. My segment in this video is about two minutes long, and was trimmed down from roughly seven minutes of despaired rambling. Enjoy!

Well, now I get to approach people I barely know at parties and casually work into every conversation that I'm a published author of a book. I'm actually only the author of one chapter of said book, but I doubt they're gonna call me on it. The name of this book is The Hall Of Nearly Great, and each of its chapters is dedicated to a baseball player who was notable and/or beloved, but not quite good enough to merit induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. I wrote my chapter about Lonnie Smith, a player who: - once tackled the Phillie Phanatic to the ground for making fun of him, - plotted to murder his general manager, John Schuerholz, and even went as far as to buy the gun, - while playing in the 1991 World Series, committed one of the worst fuck-ups in the history of baseball, and experienced many other unbelievable things. He had one of the weirdest, most interesting baseball lives anyone has ever had. I'm proud of what I wrote, and I hope I did him justice. I got to write alongside some pretty incredible baseball writers: Rob Neyer, Joe Posnanski, Will Leitch, Jonah Keri ... too many to mention here, really. It's a $12 ebook, and it's DRM-free. If y'all are inclined to check it out, I hope you enjoy. If you don't buy it I'm going to drive to your house and kill you.

Donald J. Sobol, author of the Encyclopedia Brown series of books, was murdered at the age of 87 in a vicious gangland slaying allegedly orchestrated by convicted felon Bugs Meany. Police say they failed to secure the alleged murder weapon, an icicle, before it melted. In Sobol's honor, do yourself a favor and revisit "Wikipedia Brown, And The Case Of The Smashed Snow Globe," by our very own Bill Hanstock. You might also notice a change on Progressive Boink. We've now got specialized sections so you can conveniently check out our recurring features without digging through our archives. Over there, on the left sidebar! Check 'em out!

Hi, friends. Two big birthdays to celebrate today. The first belongs to our own Mr. Billiam Hanstock. He's an outstanding writer who's done tons of great stuff, both here on P-Boi and elsewhere, for quite a time now. These days he's my co-worker at the SB Nation mothership, and he's kicking nothing but ass over there. He's also as swell a fellow as you'll meet. The second belongs to Spencer Hall, who (in case you aren't a Sports Person) also writes with me at SB Nation and maintains Every Day Should Be Saturday, the most fun sports blog in existence. We've spent countless hours bullshitting about any damn thing over IM. Frankly, he's my favorite sportswriter in existence, and I'm lucky to count him as a friend. Happy 20th, dudes!!!

Shameless plugging of my mediocre music journalism! Check it out.