At Progressive Boink you'll learn about educational games, child growth and behavior, lame television shows, age appropriate activities, old video games, nurturing, breasts, and much more. You'll learn comprehensive, hands on techniques in a course that's detailed and in depth. Sometimes we end our sentences in !!!11 to make fun of AOL speak and to run a once funny interweb joke into the information super ground.

And remember: there are no educational prerequisites or experience requirements to enroll. Enjoyable home study training from Progressive Boink makes learning child day care easy and fun! Soon, you could be ready to enjoy an active, meaningful new future.

William Blake Mysteries
The first in a series of hilarious poetry investigations.
Study Question: Who killed Kurt Cobain?

Avril Lavigne in Hell
A poetic look at the life after death of America's favorite sock-armed, fist-pumping, brain damaged eleven year old Canadian pop singer in three verses.
Study Question: What is "The Matrix?"

Stopping by Janet Jackson's Exposed Right Breast on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost.
I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two breasts diverged in a Super Bowl half-time spectacular, and I -- I took the breast less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Study Question: Now there's no chance for you and me, there'll never be...and don't it make you sad about it?

The Lord's Prayer
As translated into wingdings.
Study Question: What's up with all the 69 signs in the Lord's Prayer? I guess now we know what he's praying for, giggity giggity giggity!!

My Personal Tribute to Harriet Beecher Stowe
Keep your eye on my hands as I tell a slavery hair metal joke. NO DON'T LOOK AT THE WHIP I SAID LOOK AT MY HANDS. MY HANDS. Oh forget it, you aren't going to get this anyway.
Study Question: What are you somking??//??

Science

Time: An Essay by Hilary Duff
Dear Lizzie- I think I may like my best friend as... more then a friend. What do I do? Signed, Father Time.
Study Question: If you laugh it off and let it go, when you wake up, how will it seem?

Philosophy

The Sad Underlying Truths of Feminism
Author Kate Chopin tries to explain via allegory and symbolism the struggle of a woman to be accepted in society.
Study Question: Will you buy me something from my wishlist? Well, it's not actually a wish list, but if you want to buy me something just let me know and I'll tell you how! HERE IS MY PENIS LOOK

Does God Exist?
Presented here are Descartes' three meditations on the existence of some supreme being, presented popular culture reference free and full of so many jokes that you can't see them, and it looks like there aren't any jokes.
Study Question: wtf is up with Mena Suvari's nipples? omg

Do Heavy D and the Boyz Exist?
Who's on the microphone? A BUNCHA N-WORDS! A BUNCHA N-WORDS! A BUNCHA N-WORDS! I got my crew so other N-Words better leave us alone.
Study Question: What's a nubian?