HAY
LADY UR PRETY
written by B, Jon, Justin, Mark, Emily, and Nick on october 28th
- 2001
Nick
I didn't give this list one eigth the time that it deserves. Women are great, in all shapes and forms. This list just so happens to focus upon the physical bounty of women, though we all know that this is not all that should be considered when finding the perfect woman. On with the peep show.
I have provided a wide assortment of pictures for you. I must warn you, the women in these pictures are pretty.
10. JEAN LOUISA KELLY
Famous for: Teaching Boyd
to love again, that goofy piece of crap.
Earns points for: Not being overly pretty, as
stupid as that sounds. Hey shutup.
Loses points for: Not being overly pretty, hey
alright.
9. LEAH REMINI (lol back to back)
Famous for: Dating the fat
guy on ABC. She’s also George Costanza’s father’s
daughter.
Earns points for: Allowing me to think that
since she has sex with a fat guy every night there’s a
chance that she would hang out with me at school.
Loses points for: Wearing a lot of makeup at
most award shows.
8. LOIS GRIFFIN
Famous for: Being on the
best television show ever.
Earns points for: Telling her daughter to show
off her boobs.
Loses points for: Being the only person on my
list that I wouldn’t be able to have sex with, for fear of
paper cuts.
7. ANNA KOURNIKOVA
Famous for: Picking
wedgies during tennis matches.
Earns points for: Posing in Maxim Magazine in
one of the best photo shoots ever. She also talks with a cute
accent.
Loses points for: Being the worst tennis player
ever.
6. JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
Famous for: I Know What
You Did Last Summer.
Earns points for: Possessing both the ability to
look like an angel and a naughty lady.
Loses points for: Looking like an older sister
or cousin of some sort. I don’t have an older sister. Whee!
5. ALI LANDRY
Famous for: Being the
Doritos Lady.
Earns points for:Making the super bowl
interesting.
Loses points for: : Sponsoring Doritos and not
Rollos. Doritos are pretty dumb, probably the most overrated
pieces of crap food ever. Rollos are badass.
4. JENNIFER ANISTON
Famous for: Being a friend
lol.
Earns points for: Getting naked in Rolling
Stone. She also wore wicked tight shirts during the second season
of friends. I miss Marcel.
Loses points for: Everything after Marcel. Poor
lil’ fellah.
3. CAMERON DIAZ
Famous for: Something
About Mary. I never saw this movie but the cover makes me happy.
Earns points for: Being so skinny that her hip
bones poke out through her pants. Some guys don’t like a
real skinny lady, but I think it’s pretty neat. She also
likes to dance around in her underwear.
Loses points for: Shrek. I hated that movie.
2. XTINA AGUILERA
Famous for: Being the
first female pop singer to openly admit that she was a whore.
Earns points for: Lying around naked with a
guitar on the cover of Rolling Stone. She’s also really
short, which I think is cute, and in case you have never seen
her, she just about has a perfect body.
Loses points for: Singing like a whoopee
cushion.
1. SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
Famous for: Being Buffy
the Vampire Slayer. She also starred in about 10 Maybelline
commercials and hosted Saturday Night Live twice. She was hot in
all.
Earns points for: Being the cutest person ever.
She also has a great personality, the kind of lady you’d
trust not to step on your babies. She has great eyes and
seemingly perfect hair, and she seems really fun.
Loses points for: Not marrying me. :-(.
- Nick [email protected]
AIM: WaterAndCoffee