The Top 100 Wicked Hot Chicks
written by B, Jon, Justin, Mark, Emily, and Nick on october 28th
- 2003
Justin.
Nothing I put here can compete with breasts, so I'm not even going to try.
20.GWEN STEFANI
Famous for: Overseeing the metamorphosis which had mediocre ska band No Doubt transcend genres to become mediocre R&B; band No Doubt.
Earns points for:Milking an extra five years out of a music career that should’ve been dead in 1998 and convincing the rest of the country to play along.
Loses points for:Underneath it All being played on every radio station ever. VERSITILITY.
19. SHANNON DOHERTY
Famous for:Starring opposite Tori Spelling on 90210, yet inexplicably managing to usurp the title of “the bitchy one”.
Earns points for: She lived out my dream of smacking Vader's kid upside the head.
Loses points for:Having facial features more akin to a Magic Eye book than a human being.
18. ELISHA CUTHBERT
Famous for: Her portrayal of Kim Bauer, a vapid one-dimensional harlot possessing both the common sense and the intelligence of your average bucket of chum.
Earns points for:She’s Jack Bauer’s daughter, and despite her latent stupidity, that man is a national hero.
Loses points for: Everything else. Like being held hostage in a convenience store by a bear trap and a crazy mountain recluse while having intense stare downs with cougars and abandoning abused little girls under a pile of strewn garbage in an inner city alleyway.
17. KRISTINA LOKEN
Famous for: Setting Hollywood on fire with her emotionally charged breakthrough role as the internally conflicted T-X in this summer’s theatrical masterpiece, Terminator 3.
Earns points for: Possessing the acting range required to pull off the role of an emotionless robotic vixen. You know, thespian fundamentals like having a face and not being dead.
Loses points for:Starring in the live action TV adaptation of Mortal Kombat, because that’s exactly the kind of gripping episodic television audiences were clamoring for after having their intelligence violently accosted and left weeping in a dank alley just by venturing past cinemas where Mortal Kombat: Annihilation might have at one point been screened.
16. TINA WOOD
15. PATRICIA ARQUETTE
14. KARI WUHRER 13. JOEY-LAUREN-ADDAMS 12. TIFFANY-AMBER-THEISSEN 11. RACHEL-LEIGH-COOK 10. MANDY MOORE 9. LINDA FIORENTINO 8. PIPER PERABO 7. VICTORIA 6. PARKER POSEY 5. ASHLEY SCOTT 4. NATALIE IMBRUGLIA 3. KRISTEN KREUK 2. ALLISON MACK 1. MONIQUE POWELL - justin
Famous for: Playing to perfection the role of “hooker with the heart of gold” in True Romance.
Earns points for: Being the epitome of the sweet southern belle.
Loses points for:
Famous for: Not much, really. She’s “starred” in a myriad of direct to video releases, B-movies, and awful television shows. Her resume must read like a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode guide.
Earns points for: Starring in the TV adaptation of Swamp Thing but atoning for it by posing for a bunch of slutty pictures.
Loses points for: Not making a run at David Arquette with a searing poker and a flask of vinegar while on the set of Eight Legged Freaks. 
Famous for: Boosting sagging VCR sales back in the mid 90’s when millions of horny Kevin Smith fanboys simultaneously wore out their pause buttons while “watching” Mallrats.
Earns points for: Fucking Rick Derris on a pool table while dressed as Burt Reynolds.
Loses points for: Not having enough self-respect to steer clear of any project which involves making out with Pauly Shore. 
Famous for: Hooking up with Zach Morris back in the early 90’s. He was so dreamy <3<3<3
Earns points for: Playing a bit role in the completely unnecessary From Dusk ‘Til Dawn sequel alongside your savior and mine, Bruce Campbell.
Loses points for: Fastlane. When you’re Tiffany-Amber-Thiessen and you’re considered the show’s “star power” there’s a problem.
Famous for: Playing the role of Josie in Josie and the Pussycats.
Earns points for: She’s the only girl who gets away with dressing like a giant fucking anthropomorphic cat.
Loses points for: If you squint hard enough her head looks like a giant foam anime mask. 
Famous for: Proving herself as the most versatile of the MTV divas by not only writing shitty pop songs, but by starring in shitty teen romances as well. Talent+++.
Earns points for: Destroying Jack Osborne’s fragile heart.
Loses points for: Her pre-pubescent lust for candy in a futile attempt to appear older than she was. You see, she didn’t just want candy, she needed candy, and when you need something it becomes a responsibility. 
Famous for: Slaying both fallen angel and fetus alike in Dogma
Earns points for: She's one of few women on this earth who can validate my theory about Chris Rock having the smallest penis in the entire black populus. This accounts for why he's so angry all the time.
Loses points for: The horrible sexual implications attached to the first picture.
Famous for: Adorning the center of one of Jerry Brockheimer’s AWESOME ORANGE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER NON STOP THRILL RIDE JAM PACKED ATTITUDE movie posters.
Earns points for: Coyote Ugly proved to impressionable young girls everywhere that with a little spunk and some sass, a woman CAN make it in this male dominated world.
Loses points for: Rocky and Bullwinkle. Yet another shitty remake of a cartoon that died out for a reason.
Famous for: WWE diva. GOOFIER UN A PET COON BAH GAWD! JEZEBELLE! STONE COLE’ STONE COLE’ STONE COLE’
Earns points for:She’s not just a sack of collagen and silicon like some “other” wrestlers in the WWE women’s division who shall remain namelss… TRISH STRATUS
Loses points for: The high probability of you eating a widow’s peak if dinner isn’t on the table promptly at seven.
Famous for: Not playing the role of Josie in Josie and the Pussycats.
Earns points for:
Becky: You got Poison to play at our wedding?!
Singer: We're Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison.
Drummer: We need a ride home!
Loses points for: You know, years of torment and rejection have turned me into a pretty bitter individual, but even I can't think of something negative to say about miss Posey. Look at those pictures for Christ's sake. She's just too damned cute to mock.
Famous for: She played Huntress in like, the two episodes of Birds of Prey the WB ended up airing.
Earns points for: AI
Loses points for: EVERYTHING ELSE
Famous for: Being the plucky Australian with enough heart to captivate America over the summer of 1998 with her smash hit Torn.
Earns points for: Being cold and ashamed while lying naked on the floor.
Loses points for: She was really nothing more than a carbon copy of Alaanis Morresette. That’s going to count against you almost any way you look at it.
Famous for: Playing Lana Lang on Smallville. Defying ethnic classification.
Earns points for: Living with Chloe and perpetuating several erotic underwear pillow fight fantasies.
Loses points for: Fucking with Clark Kent. As if the emotional baggage that comes with being superman isn’t enough, you’ve got to be relentlessly tormented by this voluptuous cock tease. 
Famous for: Being really ugly ‘til she landed a role as Chloe on Smallville.
Earns points for: Being the person on the show closest to drawing a correlation between Clark Kent, and Clark Kent doing something ridiculous like lighting a house on fire. WITH HIS EYEBALLS
Loses points for: The obscene amount of morbidly grotesque photoshopped images of her I inadvertently stumbled upon while looking for pictures to use in this post.
Famous for: Spending the duration of her career as lead singer for the O.C. ska group Save Ferris concealed inside Gwen Stefani’s shadow, feverishly banging together a couple of rocks in a futile attempt to ignite the obscene volume of product in Stefani’s hair ablaze.
Earns points for: Knowing when to hang it up instead of pathetically clinging to a career after the trend died.
Loses points for: Being in a ska band. So even if you're having sex with her right now, you're probably gay for liking it.
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