1/10 & 1/17 Double Secret We Updated! Thread

[Mike]

Since the forum was down last week & we couldn't make a We Updated! thread, which sucks because it was Kyle's first post by himself, here's last week's index page...
https://www.progressiveboink.com/index2006-01-10.html

As for this week, in which Justin, Emily & I travel through time & space on a high jump champion bovine, that can be found at the usual location...
https://www.progressiveboink.com/
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[cxc]

PROGRESSIVE BOINK, I AM READY TO (2) FIGHT!


Excellent all round, really. Also, welcome back.

[Rogue]

Emily's post really made me smile, cuz I also took the whole writing-a-book-while-in-a-gifted-program route. I did mine in Kindergarten though, so it was slightly less cynical and sardonic. I wrote about a puppy that got lost in something resembling a jungle and how he eventually found his way back home via the Milford Airport (which didn't exist then, and doesn't exist now).

Looking back, it wasn' a bad first effort, though I swear I drew that dog ten different shapes. One page he was round, the next he was square, the next he was the size of Clifford, the next he was knee-high to a Oompah-Loompah, and I probably made him look like a cat at one point or another.

Em's book was quite cute, and if I could have one ability in life, it would be the cow's ability to jump from country to country in what seems to be three seconds flat. It would cut back in turbulence and screaming kids in the seat right next to me.

[Josh]

I liked Mike's future entertainment website with the Poprocks & Coke layout. I hadn't forgotten that you once said that the Dell-getting guy would be at the top of the next generation entertainment site.

I really enjoyed the Boinks III, and I thought Jon's post was beautiful.

Great updates all around!
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Jon and Justin are smooth criminals and you have been struck by them

[Bismark]

1/10 update notes:

Awesome.
I loved everything about Kyle's post, because I agree with every word of it. The only thing more frustrating than the number of bad web comics out there is the fact that they don't have to be.
But then Jon's article came along and made me feel bad about the whole thing. In a great way, though. I am so astounded by the staff's ability to constantly surprise me. Jon, I feel completely secure in deciding that you're as good of a person as you are a writer.
B has always had the ability to make his passion for anything so crystal clear in his writing that it's hard not to find yourself feeling the exact same way. Seriously, I could give a fuck about wrestling in general, but because of articles like this, I would defend it angrily to anyone.

1/17/06

I have new favorite Justin and Mike articles.
"311 I am Ready To Fight" is getting pretty run into the ground where I work because it's the funniest thing to happen in 2005, and passing that link around stoked the fire again. I love how Fireball's design for a page meant to carry one article is better than that of probably 90% of the rest of the internet.
No, I don't have a new favorite Em post (12 Flakes 4 life), but that doesn't mean I love it. Em's constant strength is being honest out loud in a way that most of us don't even dare be in our own heads. It's remarkable that an article meant to be somewhat self-depricating can be handled in such a way that it has the opposite effect. gg

Ahhhh. I feel better now. Fuck of a time for the forum to go down.
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[Mike]

Actually, that's based off the last design of the site I wrote for by myself before B asked me to join P-boi... only it was originally reddish-orange. That was part of the joke.
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[William]

Em's book made me smile and laugh several times!

The staff as wrasslin characters (esp The Hanging Out Gang) made me smile and laugh several times!

The fourm being back made me smile. No laugh. Sorry.
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Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

[Kirbyoto]

I liked Emily's article because at times it sounded remarkably mean. That whole business with Bud being mean, and everybody hating Bud. It's pretty remarkable; he's like a cow antihero. A cow antihero who is mocked by Frenchmen.

Mike's article was great for the beginning end of the time warp. A great look at the beginning of the connectwork. The wrestling Boinks was great, especially with the last-minute addition of THE HANGIN' OUT GANG of Kyle and Justin. Kyle's article, while I agreed with a lot of it, still seemed to be a bit...I don't know, "Let's find the really bad strips of comics and showcase them so people feel bad about reading them". Like 8-Bit Theater. I love 8-Bit Theater. Even though 8-B makes a weird bucktoothed face. I'm not so fond of the millions of horrendous spawn that it created, but I still love the original. It's the only webcomic (on that list, anyways) that really makes me lahl.

Also, if graphics is an issue, does that mean I can't like Get Your War On? I just think the strips are more about the writing than the visuals.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[Bismark]

That's just it: if a strip is going to be more about the writing than it is about the visuals, doesn't that mean that the writing should be good? Too many of these comics just use FF sprites to make lewd comments and expect that to justify their existence. It's like that letter that David Cross wrote to Larry the Cable Guy. Easy jokes and lowest common denominator humor. And I don't think it was so much a bunch of slams at what he thinks are bad comics, but more frustration that people aren't using the medium in as creative and wide-open a way as the internet would allow them to. Most of these gamer comics survive because they're by gamers about gaming, and that audience has been dying for anything validating their hobby. A gamer comic with a grasp of real humor and creative vision would probably cause several thousand heads to explode.
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[Kirbyoto]

I don't think an 8-Bit theater character has ever made a lewd

wait

I don't think they've ever just gone "FUCK SHIT BALLS Thomas Haden Church". Other sprite comics? Yeah, sure. But I think 8-Bit Theater is pretty all right with regards to writing. I mean, it could be better at times, but it makes me laugh. Just for future reference, what would be counted as "good writing"? Is Twisp and Catsby from PA on the list?

I mean, I don't know. I can see what he means. There's a lot more that could be done with webcomics. It just seemed unfortunate that he wrote an article telling me THESE COMICS ARE NOT UP TO PAR
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[ctoner]

I already know those comics are bad; I already know why those comics are bad. So it's basically like he repeated everything I already know and took with it a real condescending tone.

Anyway...

Three cheers to the forum going back up.

[Greg]

I was fine until I found out that Mike stole my idea for April Fool's 06.



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[Justin]

[Molly]

This week's update made me very happy, not sure if it was the time travel theme or just the fact that it was the three of you guys, or what. Which isn't saying anything because I like everyone else just as much but whatever, I'm trying to pay a compliment here. Justin, you've really grown on me lately, your last few articles have made me a fan. You have a way of being intelligent while still dishing out humor. Mike's was creative and funny (loved the link buttons) and I was impressed. Emily's was adorable, and her honesty and willingness to show something she did a long time ago and make fun of it is great. I see merchandising possibilities with that cow... maybe some Bud T-shirts in p-boink colors.... I'd like to order a hoodie with an image of the mutant catsheep, actually.

[Wes]

I remember having to write a story in 7th grade. Ours had to be in the Middle Ages so I wrote about a window washer who is banished by a magician and fought Super Duck. I remember thinking it was the junks at the time and when I read it recently I was rather disappointed. My favorite picture in the book was my depiction of God smashing the Earth with a gavel. I don't remember how that fit in the story, but I know what does fit:

I enjoyed Emily's article and her Jimmy Buffett reference.

[Kirbyoto]

[B]

In what is absolutely NOT a plea to get more commentary on my Smackdown article, here's another livejournal repost:

Some shots I didn't get to use in the article this week, shared because I'm still kinda proud of it.



Do you to remember Jon using the bodyslam into Hulk Hogan?



A close up of the back of Fireball's shirt. I think the recreation of the Boinks shirt is my favorite part of the entire endeavor.



Justin throwing a Shining Wizard.



nWoite Po (w/ lip ring if you look closely)
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[SundownMotel]

I'm going to tell myself that you didn't make a custom me because the Big Show is already in the game, and you just pretend.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Jon]