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2/14 Classic Concentration

 
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B
= Best!!11


Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 12:37 am    Post subject: 2/14 Classic Concentration Reply with quote





https://www.progressiveboink.com

(also, go see National Lampoon's Pucked. It has Estella Warren in it.)
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Justin
woof woof woof woof


Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Antiquated Negro feces!!!

Nick, your article is hilarious. The first was great, but this one is even better. Today I got yelled at by some woman for my insistance that as a slick-talking carpetbagger, I've got the right - nay, the duty - to mock southerners for being the dim-witted rubes they are! Oh, and maybe to bilk a rich widowed land owner out of an inheritance while I'm at it. So your description of country fans had me laughing. Hard. Especially the Confederate flag, which I've heard defended as a piece of culture and heritage one too many times.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]
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endlessmike
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 461

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 2:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick wrote:
What's more hardcore than starting a bunch of fights? Certainly not learning how to play the guitar or sing.


<3 a sideways heart in honor of valentine's day
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Justin
woof woof woof woof


Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

P-Boi is nobody reads our updates anymore for 2/14!
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]


Last edited by Justin on Wed Feb 15, 2025 5:58 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Jon
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 788
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know. The last thing I want to complain about is a lack of feedback, but it's started to make me wonder what we're doing wrong.
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Nick
B I T C H


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 446
Location: Boston

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I told you we should have been a porn site.

Justin wrote:
Nick, your article is hilarious.

endlessmike wrote:
<3 a sideways heart in honor of valentine's day


Thanks, guys. I'm glad you liked it.
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Rusty Cooledge
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 432

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

this is merely the start of our war on you sell out tards!

As has been used as reasoning by myself and others before, it's only a matter of time before we run out of ways to say "good article!"

Now, an obvious rebuttle to this is "Well what DID you like about it?" And that answer to that is always harder to put into words. Take my following feedback as an example of my constant struggle with the english language.

I will start by reiterating what was said about Nick's article. The part about the 3 alternative reactions by screamo song writers to finding out a girl they like has a boyfriend had me laughing pretty good. And we have more than enough rednecks around here for me to fully appreciate that section. Good stuff.

Lindy's article was entertaining. I was at first turned off by the topic as when there is an article about a tv show I would never watch on here I'm completely disinterested, but I usually expect good things and force myself to read anyway and am always rewarded for my perseverance with an article that makes me laugh.

As for Mike's, I love video game centric articles and this was a terrific topic. Awe inspiring moments in video games are what some of us live for and this was a great exhibition of some primo moments. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped when Sephiroth stabbed Aeris in Final Fantasy 7. This article brought back memories like that and I enjoyed it.

Hm. That actually wasn't so bad.
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

These articles are all very good!!

Quote:
At Hot Topic they buy: Directions to get the hell out of Hot Topic.


Did I miss something about why the loungers are represented by a penguin, or is that a bit of a "non sequitur"?

Quote:
What I learned this episode: Putting Chloe in a red dress with leather makes her look like she is an extra from Full Metal Jacket.


And I totally know what Mike is talking about with sailing in Wind Waker. Though I only really liked it completely when you get the seagulls following you. That just rocked.
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Nick
B I T C H


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 446
Location: Boston

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kirbyoto wrote:
Did I miss something about why the loungers are represented by a penguin, or is that a bit of a "non sequitur"?


https://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/jockitch.htm

I think that picture was in like 4 retro Jon articles. Call it tapping the felt.
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Mugsy
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 513

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dug this week's updates an absurd amount!

Mike, I like where your heads at baby, keep it up! Alternatively: I found it very interesting (and funny where applicable) and I really do respect that opinion, because it's a solid one, even if its not my own. Plus, you managed to say it better than most of us in the related thread. Good work old bean!

Lindy, from a strictly uninterested-in-fashion male, I really enjoyed the article. Especially the part about riding ruffled women for sport WAAA-AOO-OOOOO!!! Way to hustle out there!

Good eye, Nick! The entire screamo section (and any references therafter) were a stitch. I am in a certain elitist group of friends who poke fun at emo kids every day. We are so AWESOME!!
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Josh
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 383
Location: Donna, TX

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2025 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick wrote:
I told you we should have been a porn site.


But there's already plenty of those out there, you would've just been a spin off of XXX-Entertainment.com.

Good job, Nick. There's nothing better than laughing at things you hate.
Quote:
The singer eventually kills himself in sorrow, despite his being present to retell the story. Stick to your act, man. You're not going to stir much pathos for your dead character when you won't even man up and kill yourself.


Yeah, I knowww. Like some line I saw on myspace "I wrote your name on the bullet to let you know you were the last thing that went through my head." omg deep!!

I really liked Mike's article and I think it could've kept on going a couple of more pages. I liked when you wrote that you made sure to hit f8 in every screen just for the hell of seeing what was written. I am the same way, especially when it comes to RPG's. I make sure to talk to every single person even if I know they're not important. Maybe this is why I take longer than most people to beat these games. Oh and I am with you about the skipping the cut scenes.

I have yet to read Lindy's article, gotta save the best for last, right?
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escrew7
CUP OF WATER


Joined: 02 Feb 2026
Posts: 72
Location: Where you want to be

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 12:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice article Mr Fireball,
But the endings changed since the first time I read it, why?
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Randy
randy


Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 902
Location: texas

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 12:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked the sailing too.
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Mike wrote:
Do you guys remember Donkey Kong the video game? Because THAT'S WHAT IT IS ABOUT TO BE ON LIKE.
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Molly
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 19 Aug 2025
Posts: 172
Location: Oregano

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good articles from all... I have to say I think Lindy gets better with each article. If this keeps up, we might have to worry about insane levels of Lindy awesomeness taking over the internet.

Randomly...

Quote:
Donald Trump has his “you’re fired” which I think would be much better if he sent it by fax from the future.


I'm the dork who will laugh my ass off whenever I encounter a back to the future reference on this site. Just put one in any article or comic, and you'll get a laugh from me. Thanks.

Nick's was funny, full of quotes that warranted a copy/paste...

Quote:
At Hot Topic they buy: Wallets that run a chain from their back pocket to a belt loop, piercings, bracelets with combinations of hearts and spikes on them, because you know I love you baby I'm infatuated and RAR I'M A TOUGH BADASS it's okay it's okay I love you sweetie love love love BWRAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR I JUST BUSTED A PORCELAIN LAMP OVER


Quote:
It remains unconfirmed, but I'm sure there's a song about all the boyfriends who screwed things up congregating atop a massive pyre the detonator to which is owned by the singer. MY HEAD.


Quote:
You can find them: Coffee shops, jazz lounges, and pretty much anywhere else you're not allowed to talk or have fun (The library? Court?).


--I just like the way you added "library" and "court" to the end of that. I reread that sentence three times b/c it made me laugh for some inexplicable reason.

Mike can write about video games like no one else. Well... and by that I mean, when you talk about video games I just want to jump up and go YES-- EXACTLY! I liked how you and your housemate went through Zelda together. I'll sometimes just watch my brother play Zelda because I love the story but I'm terrible at the maneuvers (on Gamecube anyway; Gameboy is a different story). I love end credit sequences in video games that show characters you've encountered. Just great.
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wee bull
CUP OF WATER


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 74
Location: Hull

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kirbyoto wrote:
Did I miss something about why the loungers are represented by a penguin, or is that a bit of a "non sequitur"?

I assumed it was some kind of tuxedo reference. Lounge singers, known for their wearing of tuxedos, which are commonly caled "penguin outfits" because of the colour scheme.

I really enjoyed Mike's piece, yet another excellent video games article, and I really must get round to reading the whole of that damn "games = art" thread sometime soon, since I don't think I've really looked at it since I posted in it, on about page 2.
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Ragingape
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 08 Sep 2025
Posts: 231
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick, your bitterness and anger towards those different from you makes for good comedy. I like the fact that although it's an article about what you hate about a lot of people, it's not the typical internet crap where it's just you describing ways you want to kill them. You actually make jokes without resorting to just being hateful.
Nick wrote:
I mean, I'm in no way knocking the use of pot, but it just doesn't seem like that good of idea for anything you'd like to have some recollection of someday. Why pay $80+ for a DMB ticket when you'd probably have the same exact experience sitting in your garage humming “Crash Into Me” to yourself?

Favorite Part.

Lindy, I like your writing a lot, and I enjoyed all the jokes you made, but I can't feign an interest in the show. It's not that I didn't enjoy the article, I just don't can't judge if any of the comments you made regarding the cast are insightful. I still laughed at the jokes though, and this:
Lindy wrote:
Unless you’re from K-PAX, like Mike Fireball.

is ridiculously funny.

Mike, you are great. Your writing, while funny, is also passionate and emotional. I really want to echo the comments made in that I found myself reminiscing about my own experiences while reading the article and realizing how I often felt the same way as you described.
Mike wrote:
Or at least the results that don't get them fired & then sent on fucking insane road trips by over-the-top Kirsten Dunst & then lose an arm wrestling match to Over The Top Kirsten Dunst.

Funniest part.
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mreow
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 341
Location: Reno, NV

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike's article was wonderful. I love when people who know how to communicate describe the things that they love and why. It puts you right there with them. I too love Majora's Mask and Shadows of the Empire (I loved the canyon level too and explored like crazy, there was an exhilerating rush of panic when I turned into a off-shooting cave and some kind of big burly beast came after me I just don't remember what he was but it reminds of of the Matterhorn at Disneyland where you turn a corner and the Yeti is screaming at you! It scares me to this day and I still can imagine him running after me through the tunnels) but I could never go farther into describing that love than "that game is cool and I love the music on such and such level." And those games I've never played gather up a mysterious quality, like I've been missing out on something all these years having never played Black Cauldren. This is something I love about this website is the passion and energy of the writers can bring you along into experiencing something fascinating. Or just cause you to laugh in a silent dark room at your computer screen.
And Lindy's article is full of humorous tidbits. You are a great writer and know how to weave humor nicely into your work.
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Nick
B I T C H


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 446
Location: Boston

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2025 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the support, guys. I know it may seem tedious and repetitive at times to leave the same old feedback every week, but it really is the key to our inspiration. If it weren't for you guys we may as well be leaving the articles on our hard drives.

I guess I'm trying to tell you that I love you.
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Mike
The king of pop


Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2025 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously. I wasn't sure how this one would go over, so it does mean a lot that people get it.
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Neil
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR


Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 720
Location: Wyandotte, MI

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2025 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far I've only read Mr. Fireball's, but I really enjoyed it. Especially the part about the C-Stick on your neck, I did not see that coming.
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