No one watches Smackdown! 12/30/05

[pholby]

JBL works stiff, Matt Hardy works retarded. Swinging wildly, Hardy eats a big boot, as if JBL is saying "Stop it, you spaz." JBL kicks out of the legdrop, sticking it to fat teenage girls everywhere.

Then The Boogyman ruins everything.

This has been part 24 of Matt Hardy's Story of Revenge (in 7 parts).
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[B]

Matt Hardy WILL

NOT


DIE



unless you punch him a few times
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[SundownMotel]

I still can't believe that no one said anything about the moment on RAW when McMahon actually SAID THE WORDS "do you see what I did there?"

Also, if UPN would make their wacky TV rays reach my house I would watch Smackdown.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[pholby]

Super Crazy looks fat and happy to be on national television. Psichosis wears a red bandanna to show that he is a bottom and likes knife play.

That was a horrible enziguri. Even Tazz is laughing. Chad Dick doesn't sell a Juan Deer to the head very well. The throw into the dropkick was kind of neat. I have fun picturing Juvi backstage ranting to his girlfriend about not being on television this week.
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[B]

I'm really having trouble watching the program whenever The Dicks show up. They make me uncomfortable. I've never been an exceptionally homophobic man, and I've seen more than one Christopher Street Connection match. But these guys top THAT. I know they've wrestled as penises before but when I see them all I see is penis. They're just two wide-ass penises moving around in the ring. It makes me want to barf, and that's putting it as poetically as I can.
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[pholby]

Who uses entrance music to announce that they were raped? At least they got a lawyer who isn't an indie wrestler. If I saw Johnny Kashmere in a three-peice holding a briefcase I think I'd burst. I love that the crowd doesn't know what she's going to say, so they're chanting BA-TIS-TA at her. This is great.

"I was recently the victim of a sexual predator!"
BOOOOOOO
"A man who you all know as Batista."
YAYYYYYYYYYY
_________________
"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[B]

Do you see the kinds of clothes she wears? Clearly she deserves it!
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[pholby]

Sharmelle's beauty queen wave during her entrance is great.

Seeing Randy Orton work the extended lockup spot is really odd. Orton sells the headbutt by sitting on the ground and saying to himself "What the fuck was that? I don't deserve that. What the hell is this guy's problem?" Randy Orton gets the headscissors, and Benoit works out of them, and if Benoit had hopped back and forth like Tigermask used to do I would have died a happy man. They shouldn't call them "knife edge chops" when Benoit is clearly opening his hand at the end of them. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not the right term. It takes a special kind of man to make the chinlock a credible submission hold, and Randy Orton is not that kind of man. Kudos to Orton for trying to grab the ropes after the first German Suplex. That's a little thing, and I like it. Randy Orton is the one who got hit with the top?, and Benoit is the one the ref checks on. I get what the ref is doing, but he should at least act like he's checking on Orton first.
_________________
"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[pholby]

That was around a hundred times more promo time than the last 6 CW champs got combined. And he did pretty well with it, for a minute there. I was way behind "What the hell is a juventud?" but then he went on about salamanders.

I can't wait for this Finlay guy.
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[McFly]

I only tuned in to see Lashley's new pyros, but I missed it.

[Jim]

I missed the show as a result of being at work. I'm gonna miss Raw, too.
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