Am
I Punk Or Emo? |
Humans, by their animalistic nature, have a need to belong to a larger group. Don't try & argue with me. It's the truth, & you know it. Even kids who proclaim themselves to be outcasts from the evil that is society hang out with other outcasts from the evil that is society. They'll never admit it, but they have their own section of the high school cafeteria. It's the back corner!
I kid. But for those of you who are sick of that stupid need to belong, there's still hope. Believe it or not, there's an entire underground scene filled with kids just like yourself. Kids who rebel against society by creating their own cute little mini-society. Today, we're going to take a look at two of these mini-societies that happen to be closely related. To see which one fits you best, you just have to ask yourself one simple question...
EXPLANATION:
The first step in being accepted into the scene is to look like you belong. In other words, you have to learn how to dress the part. So pay attention. 1. Hair
Hair is usually one of the first things people notice about you, so choosing a style is of the utmost importance. Take a look at this picture of the cast of That 70s Show. If your hair looks like somebody in this picture, then you're already well on your way to becoming an emo kid. It doesn't matter who in the picture you decide to emulate... it could even be the dad with his pattern baldness. Just pick someone in this picture & make your hair look like theirs. Then dye it black. Then take a webcam picture & add some distressed effects to make it look "artsy." Congratulations! You're already ahead of the game. Another idea is to choose a hairstyle that's common the opposite sex. For example, in the picture of me above, I have the same hairstyle as Allison Mack from TV's Smallville. Not only is Allison Mack totally smoking hot, she is also a girl, & the fact that I have girl hair is a check mark in the emo column.
If you prefer your hairstyle to stand out more, then you'd be better off as a punk. It is important as a punk to stick out like a sore thumb at all times. A good way to start is to watch a movie called SLC Punk, find somebody in the movie whose hair you like the best, & just copy off of that. Except for the chick at the end with the mustache. Spiking your hair is usually a good way to go, but you have to do it the right way. Don't make the same mistakes I did. The last time I had my hair spiked, my age was a one digit number, & it looked more like Ricky Martin spikes than punk rocker spikes. Dying your hair some crazy, unnatural color is a good idea as well, but again, make sure it's a prominent change from the norm. Remember, punks can't look boring. Ever. 2. Eyewear
If you're digging the emo look so far, the next step is to get yourself a pair of glasses. I don't care if your vision is perfect. Glasses are an absolute necessity in emo fashion. If you're a boy, get some that look like Buddy Holly's. If you're a girl, get some that look like Lisa Loeb's. And if you happen to bear a striking resemblance to Lisa Loeb when you wear them, give me your phone number.
Eyewear in punk rock is not as important like it is in emo. In fact, it's not important at all, unless you actually need to wear prescription glasses. In this case, you might as well follow the same rules. Take, for example, this picture of the Offspring, because they don't get more punk than the Offspring, am I right? The one guy is wearing those same black, thick rimmed specs. Simple enough. Your other option is to wear sunglasses, but if you choose this path, you can only take them off when you go to bed. The rest of the time, you should try to keep them on, even at night. It might be a little hard getting used to driving in the dark, but hey, you're a punk. Knocking over stuff is part of your way of life. Knocking over stuff is the color of your skin. 3. Shirts
As a punk, your shirt should make a statement. Most of the time, this statement will usually be a political slogan like "End Racism," or "Free Some Country You'll Never Ever Go To," or some other propaganda looking thing that you probably won't contribute more than a dollar to, but hey, at least you're giving them some free advertising, right?
Another option is to find a shirt with a pop culture icon on it. For example, you may have noticed that I am wearing a Zelda II: the Adventure of Link shirt. I got that shirt from Hot Topic, & Hot Topic is the punkest store ever. This is important to remember. Between that & the fact that nobody likes Zelda II: the Adventure of Link, except for me, this shirt is about as punk as dumpster diving.
Shopping for emo shirts is as easy as going to your local thrift store or Salvation Army with about 20 bucks. You should be able to get at least half a closet's worth of stuff. As a general emo rule of thumb, you should always go for stuff that's a couple sizes too small, so it looks like you work out, even though you're really scrawny & pale. Sweaters are also standard emo fare, as well those as Izod polo shirts with the little alligator on them. Or, if you're more of a t-shirt person, you should find some that say something random like "Goldstein Family Reunion 1992" or "Lordy Lordy, Look Who's 40!" Some emo bands have t-shirts, too, but theirs usually have silhouettes of things like horses or trees, & maybe some kind of poetic sounding line like "Nothing can soothe these bitter tears." 4. Pants
The punk dress code simply prescribes that you wear the crap out of your pants. Wear them out until their faded, or better yet, just rip them up like you got in a fight with a werewolf. Just stay away from baggy stuff. Your pants are only allowed to fit one person at a time. And even though they fit perfectly, be sure to compliment them with one of those chrome-studded belts, for good measure. Need some emo looking pants? Go back to the thrift store & find some 70s looking slacks or khakis. Those artificial pop star looking already faded jeans from the Gap will work, too. Whatever the case my be, make sure they're either too tight, or about to fall down. For the latter, you have to wear them about a foot below your waistline, & still put on a belt. 5. Jacket
During the colder months, your outerwear will be crucial to showing off your scene points. If you want to look emo, you should basically dress like you're expecting it to be really cold outside at all times. Those British looking wool peacoats are quite fashionable. As far as color goes, you either want to pick an obnoxiously bright color, like red or orange, or a dismal color, like black, or grey, or bluish-grey, or greyish-blue, or greyish-grey... to match the sadness inside your bleeding, broken heart.
If you're going to be punk, you had better own a leather jacket. Fake leather is fine, I guess, if you dread the thought of wearing part of a dead cow. Either way, decorating it with a couple of buttons & patches & safety pins is a good idea. You should also own several dark colored hooded sweatshirt, or "hoodie" as the kids call them. You don't need to put the hood up unless you're trying to look menacing, as will often be the case as a punk. 6. Shoes
If you're a boy & you want to be emo, you'll want to get a pair of black or bold colored Reebok track shoes, so it looks like you're ready to run a marathon, or just run after the girl that broke your fragile heart. Bonus points if they make Velcro in your size. Emo girls wear black or bold colored Saucony shoes. Bowling shoes are ok too, I think.
Punks have two options. #1) Converse Chuck Taylor
All-Stars. Preferably black, white, or some obnoxious color, like
red. The other option is combat boots, like the kind There you have it, friends. That sums up our fashion lesson punk & emo. You are now well on your way to becoming a productive member of the underground scene of your choice! Let's celebrate by playing a drinking game! THE AM I PUNK OR EMO DRINKING GAME:
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