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october 1, 2025

Experiment 2- "Bo Does Not Know Literature"
Status-FAILED

In a rather strange twist of misfortune, my cover was almost blown this past summer by my former colleague Patricia. Mr. Jackson hosted a Sunday charity brunch to mark the establishment of a scholarship fund for the widows and children of fallen police officers. A handful of celebrities came out for the event, as well as hand selected policemen from all over the country. One of these hand selected was a man from Las Vegas named Rico Constantino. That's right, the same friend of Patricia's who competed on (and won) American Gladiators.

I spent the entire party hidden from view, not wanting to be spotted, but needing to keep the subject in view at all possible times. Finally, while crouched behind a large bush, something inside me snapped and insisted that I challenge the subject right then and there. I threw a rock at the subjects head, yelled, "WHAT'S THE GREEN LIGHT IN GATSBY SYMBOLIC OF?" and then quickly dove under the caterer's truck to avoid detection. From beneath the truck I could make out very little. From what I've gathered, Mr. Constantino thought the query was directed to him, and began a long winded speech about the green light in question, before being shushed by an annoyed Mr. Jackson.

At first, the terse manner in which Mr. Jackson handled the situation led me to believe that I'd been victorious. However now, three months later I know that the subject merely hates discussing Fitzgerald in mixed company. How have I learned that Mr. Jackson does in fact know literature? Because today is the publication of "Bo Knows Bo," the subject's autobiography.

I still feel confident that I will in the end be victorious, but the subject is proving much more difficult to break than I'd originally thought. I worry that something inside me might be breaking. I feel constantly less like Inman, and more like Ini. It felt so good to hit him with that rock. . .    

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