B: From the Vault
part 2, kind of

Before Progressive Boink came along, I got my start on the Celebrity Superfight Main-Event, deciding who, through unnecessary and elaborate exposition, would win in a fight between Kate Beckinsale and, oh, I don't know, a stone. After that I moved on to wrestling opinion boards where I met Matt Caracappa, which lead to X-Entertainment.com, which lead to Whatever-Dude.com, which lead here. And I guess here lead to the Dugout.

I've managed to archive most of my work from the beginning besides the 800 or so Superfights I lost to the ether. I've been looking to complete the set and stumbled upon some of my older stuff that varies from popular W-D jazz to obscure pieces for wrestling sites that 3 people in the universe have read.

What you see is what I found. Do your best to enjoy it, and if you do nothing else, at least read the one about me putting wrestling moves on women. I thought I'd lost that one forever.

	Vagina = Pain The great lost treasure from the B Collection. This was written for Lethal Wrestling shortly after I left Whatever-Dude. Matt calls it a "knockout" after I'd seemingly disappeared. Emily suggested that I add to it before putting it up, but I want it to be recreated in its original glory, complete with sentiment about ex-girlfriends. Sorry, Emmy! Note: The "MMN" mentioned at the beginning of the article is Lethal's "Mr. Monday Night," a really talented kid who took over the site, went nutso, and deleted everything from the archives shortly after. Written by B in Late 2001
	Jeff Gordon Triumphant A really dated, sorta-terrible piece from the very, very early days of Whatever-Dude. One of the first days, actually. It has nothing to do with Jeff Gordon - it's about terrible wrestlers of the day and all the wonderful op-board jokes I could come up with to describe them, using acerbic suggestions of brick-to-face contact to express my anger. I was literally enraged on the internet, you guys! Written by B on 2/21/01
	The Wedding Planner and Jennifer Lopez's Legacy of Love Paul and I did a few co-op posts, and this was the first. Please remember that it was written during that dark time in American History when Jennifer Lopez had the number one album, song, movie, television special, book, poster, brand of cheese, blow-up clown, and handlebar tassle in the country. It was seriously I'M REAL 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 478 days a year. Paul was a cool guy, and he looked like Evan or Jaron from Evan and Jaron. Written by B and Paul on 5/3/01
	Rocky IV - Two Worlds Collide A mega-collaboration amongst the original three Whatever-Dude founders, one of the rare times we got together. Basically what happened is that we realized we all liked Rocky IV, and thought "holy shit we should write an article about Rocky IV." If you read you'll notice that I ran out of shit to say by the time they were done. Written by B, Dave, and Paul. on 6/7/01
	Planet of the Apes: 1968-2001 Another two-fer from Paul and myself, complete with old-timey terrible picture captions. This one is NSFW if you start clicking the little images, but the little images are the best part so stop being at W and go H where you can see the Ns and the A-hole and possibly the V. Guess which one I wrote~! Written by B and Paul on 7/30/01
	Meet Test and Albert .The first in a series of fan-style fictions about Test and Albert, aka T&A, the WWF tag team sensation with the gimmick of sexually-suggestive initials. Don't worry, it's not REAL fan fiction. Think of it like a Story of Intrigue from several years ago, and about wrestling. Written by B
	Test and Albert Slam the Summer Part 2, following the heinous, the vicious events of Summerslam. Jesus Christ, they should've revoked my writers license. Written by B
	Albert and Test, Act 2 Scene 2 The final, heartbreaking act, bro. Written by B