It was the 25th hour. The 5th quarter. The 10th inning. All bets were off. Do-or-die. Go big or go home. Irritable company shareholders driven mad by the incessant clicking of their stock tickers were calling for blood, justice and results (in that order). Kraft President & CEO Samuel Kraftman responded in turn through massive restructuring at the management level. This was accomplished at first by reassigning those whose heads were being called for to a completely different position at random; a common practice on Wacky Work Wednesdays, but unheard of on a permanent basis. Shareholders grew suspicious however, when the featured speaker at the next quarterly earnings meeting was announced as "Martin from the mail room." The next tactic employed was to outfit the offending parties with those novelty phony glasses with the attached mustache and nose with the intent of fooling the masses into believing there had been a thorough turnover process. Surprisingly enough, this tactic fooled all but the most observant of shareholders who soon informed the others through any manner of communication available including telegram, singing telegram, mimed telegram and the significantly less popular stabbing telegram. It was an option provided to those looking to send both a literal and figurative message to an enemy, but was sometimes selected on accident as the telegram form was somewhat misleading.