Progressive Boink

[A Link To The Matt]

God damn, that first team in the main event is about the most fucked up bunch of misfits working together I can ever envision. That would be like a team of Brian Genius, Rusty Cooledge, Snake Eyes, Ajay Rupa, and Helm Conrad all on the same team together

[BackLegFrontKick]

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winner: Cam, Pen, Nat, Str, Pru
Survivors: Prunelope

1. Vote for yourself
2. Vote for the most ridiculous outcome

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Brian Genius

parrot parrot book the competitors strong parrot parrot

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: ZZV

oh god

elizabit

this is the big one

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com

Yes, they should start winning, shouldn't they?

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: John Abbott

wesleeeyyyyy

And on top of all this, it's SLAM-O-WEEN, right?

[Greg]

Alright, let's try this again.

Being as loud as I am about my opinions, it would be uncool to not admit when I'm wrong or was worried about nothing. Like Slyclops' championship, I felt that the Brian Genius/Pru/Penny Cavendish started off a bit a contrived and silly. I stil believe that. But also like Slyclops' championship, everything that followed more then made up for it, and with this week's Brian/Pru/Johnny/Whoomp promo, it became totally awesome. In all seriousness, that promo was one of the most perfect I've read since PGA started. It's a pitch-perfect character piece that lays out where characters have been, where they are now and where they might be headed.

Brian Genius admitting that crashing the press conference was a spur of the moment thing, and then backpedaling to make it seem like it was all "part of the plan" really reveals a lot about his character. Brian has always been the man with a plan, be they "diabolic schemes" or not. He can cope with a plan failing, he can evaluate his position and readjust his plan. But winging it is simply not his thing. It shows you how much Pru means to him, and how much off-kilter he's been thrown by this issue. Pru left, and took a chunk of Brian with him that he's going to need if he seriously is going to compete in PGA.

Pru's monologue at the end of the promo demonstrates how much she's grown in the last year and a half. This isn't the same Pru who was doing "rar, I'm Amelia Earhart, just kidding, I'm a bear!" hands. Her relationship with Brian Genius has matured her into someone more responsable (den mother), someone more well spoken, someone more capable of taking care of herself. And the sad reality is is that Pru may very well have matured beyond Brian Genius. It's very possible she doesn't need him anymore, and she's now realizing that. She's ready to move on to the next thing in her life, and while Brian Genius is now "a good guy" and this whole issue is still totally that bitch Penny's fault, I find myself supporting this decision.

Though this brings up an interesting issue. With Pru questioning everything about Brian Genius, why has she turned to Rusty Cooledge. If she thinks she can see through Brian, she should have no problem seeing through Rusty. Fuck, Helen Keller could see through Rusty. Maybe she'd rather stick with someone familiar then try and find someone new to find comfort with, she's had a very limited amount of friends and experiences with other members of PGA. She should probably go back to being an interviewer, just to gain a bit of independence back.

The promo also confirms how out of place Johnny Roppongi is in this situation, as well as how of a pestilence Whoomp Del Rio has become. Guy is in like a third of all the promos! All his big talk about sex... you know, if Penny hadn't already confirmed that she slept with him, I'd be assuming Whoomp was the world's biggest, loudest virgin in the vain of Seth Green's character in Can't Hardly Wait. I still love the fuck out of Whoomp Del Rio.

Oh, Brandon O'Brien, you never learn a goddamn thing. Why do you insist on seeking out punishment? And really, barbed wire and a baseball bat? Surely Dead Rising 2 would have given you some more creative ideas! Jesus, the BOB/LBJ ending was distrubing as all fuck. The fact that BOB getting 1/2 crucified is just the BUILD UP, the eventual match between these two is going to be on an apocalyptic scale.

(on a technical note, sparks from barbed wire dragging on concrete at walking speed? What magic is this?)

Will admit, Zubaz's depression fake out got me. I WAS REELED IN! Emotions have always run wild on PGA, so Zubaz's blue mood didn't feel out of place in the slightest. It is nice to see him back on his feet and in a good mood. Time to take on the Zen Dungeon!... No, wait, I mean, time to try and get a petty guy who doesn't want to wrestle to wrestle. I'm actually surprised John Abbott gave in at the end, it would have been in character for him to blow the whole thing off and leave after the PPV. Maybe that's why Buster thinks Stevens N. Stevens will give into a match if he bugs him long enough, it always worked with his brother!

Holy crap, is this Announcer Bot's first promo? This just raises so many questions as to how Announcer Bot even works! I'm glad Ari Ritcher is back, and I'm having fun imagining what he was thinking when he started going through the wiki. "Why are all these profile pictures of celebrities we vaguely look like? Is that the Twilight guy on Brian Genius' profile? What kind of clowns are running this thing?"

I'm all for fleshing out the Juniors devision, and the Ari/Andrew match was a good way to get that started. Yikes at the Fire Thunder Driver (archnemises of Water Earth Chauffeur). Of equal or bigger concern, what was the deal with Mikey? They have to be seriously working the puppet, because otherwise the whole Thor Von Lightningstrike thing just says PGA hired the biggest moron possible.

We're pretty much at the point where the only explanation for Dallas Leto is that he's 100% gay and head over heals in love with Rusty. Yeah, I know, daddy issues, but I know people with daddy issues and they never went all puppy eyed lovey duvey when they finally found some parental affection like Leto has been. Like Whoomp Del Rio, Dallas Leto is a character where I have no idea what's going on in his head, but I find fucking hilarious and awesome anyway.

MAKOTO is back, and continues the night's theme of showing us how awesome our Juniors devision is and how much we've been neglecting it. It occures to me that Todd is probably Raijin's first gay student in any fed. This is just a guess, but he's probably so used to the situation being all "look, but don't touch" that Todd's presence is probably throwing him for a loop.

Both of the Cavendishes have proven themselves the masters of "trying to fix something, making it worse." It's seriously gotten to the point where Jack and Penny's best options is to just keep their mouths shut, keep their heads down, wrestle whatever matches are given to them and wait for these issues to blow over. It could take a year or more, but it's the only way for things to heal at this point. It's sad that Dawkins has ended up in the crossfire. Yeah, the Guns for Hire might have attacked him anyway, but they wouldn't have been able to dupe him like that and the Cavendish Estate would still be a unit.

I'm ultimately glad Penny got substituted for Dawkins for storyline reasons, because whether you want to believe it or not, the Cavendish Estate no longer exists. For everything to have gone down the way it has, from the tape being played to the Estate losing in the trios tournement to the Guns attacking Dawkins, there's no way these three, especially Jack and Dawkins, can function together as a unit. That's why I voted for North Star here, and that's why I'll vote for the Guns for Hire at the tournement. I really believe this is the final nail in the coffin for the Cavendish Estate.

Which means we're that much closer to Dawkins going after the PGA World Heavyweight Title! YEEEEESSSSSS!

If there aren't hilarious out of date cold war jokes when the Russians show up, we riot!

Fun Zubaz/Nightdiver match! "I need it to breath?" Would a ref seriously allow a match when one of the participants is on a respirator? "Match delayed while Nightdiver finds his inhaler!" Yeah, I know, it was a rouse, but c'mon REF!

Sleep Disorder, you poor fool. Penny doesn't deserve you. Penny doesn't deserve Sexual Nightmare.

Sly laying down the law! It finally feels like Slyclops/Crane is on!

And then the King Falcon thing happened. See, Crane, if you had listened to Stevens and stopped trying to buddy-buddy with Falcon, this wouldn't have happened! He's lulled you into a false sense of security just so that he could hit you with a fucking coffee machine! What's scary is just how fast King Falcon has committed to Helm Konrad's idea of ultra-violence to stop the Zen Dungeon.

THE RETURN OF SCREENCAPS! Awesome!

Oh Jesus, table that doesn't break. Table that doesn't break!

Ug, the ending of the main event just makes my blood boil! The Guns for Hire are easily THE heel tag team now (I mean, they were before, but NOW). Goddamn it, I want a rematch!

Wow, this really was an intense and awesome show. Probably because we had two weeks to work on it, BUT STILL

And yes, Pierre Kirby is back.

[B]

Shit, yes, I actually forgot to announce it.

THIS WEEK IS SLAM-O-WEEN SO FEEL FREE TO HAVE YOUR SEGMENT REVOLVE AROUND THIS, OR HAVE YOUR CHARACTER DRESSED HOWEVER YOU WANT. NO, THE MAIN EVENT WILL NOT TURN INTO A FULFILL YOUR FANTASY MATCH

[tmbg13]

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winner: Ruth, Star, Keiko, Marcy, Calamity Jane
Survivors: North Star, Calamity Jane

Guys, Calamity Jane is in a match in the PGA. And she's teamed up with both North Star and the two best PGA rookies.

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Brian Genius

I'm not sure if I'll ever vote Dallas Leto because fuck Dallas Leto

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: ZZV

I know this is kind of a joke match, but god damn I almost want Porkchop Miller to win the belt.

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com

As excited as I am for the Russians to make their American debut, we should probably start having Lucharesu win matches again.

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: John Abbott

I love how excited I was for an Ari Richter return and now I keep voting against him.

[Dave]

YESSSSS SLAM-O-WEEN!!!

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winners: Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Survivor: Wandering Star

I originally voted for the Bad Girls featuring Pru, with my sole survivor (and explanation for them winning) being Kate Cameron. But then I realised how ridiculous a team that is and how Kate Cameron doesn't give a shit about teaming with people and is planning to murder Natasha. Natasha, on the other hand, is exactly the type of person to throw fuel on a fire, so I see those two causing each other to be eliminated. I almost voted Calamity as the survivor, but I think she would do really well just showing the PGA audience what she can do before giving one of her opponents some heat by eliminating her. I ended up going with Star because of the whole Whoomp Del Rio storyline, as I'm assuming whoever wins this will have a good claim to a future title shot. Also, yeah, Penny and Pru in the same ring, on the same team! Just like old times, guys. Or....not. Man, this match is going to be awesome.

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Brian Genius

Brian needs this victory after last week (well, after the last few weeks, really). I want Leto to get a chance to look really good here, and I'm sure this match is going to be really great, but in the end, Genius needs to win this, and win cleanly. Or, at least after a load of shenanigans between the Cool Kids and the Jet Set. Either way, I'm totally going for Brian to get the win here.

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: Zane "Zubaz" Vance

No amount of feeling and/or chopping the groove will be able to defeat Zubaz. But it is sure going to be entertaining watching a match between ZZV and Porkchop on Slam-O-Ween. It's going to be so much fun that I almost don't care who wins. But, you know, I would like Zane Vance to win.

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com

I like the Russians and presumably Hernandez is going to be there to cause some chaos, but this is the new Lucharesu and we need to see what they can do and give them a victory here. These guys are facing King Falcon and Helm Konrad at Cargado, they need to look as good as they possibly can before then.

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: John Abbott

I actually voted for Ari originally, but I couldn't really justify it beyond "I am glad Ari Richter is back". Whether he wants to be here or not, John Abbott is a complete BEAST and I just can't see Richter beating him, cool new finisher or not. This should be pretty cool though.

[fenrir8806]

Ok, I'm going to get my votes in now and my review from last week soon after it. RL has been really crazy so I'm finally getting some time.

PGA Primetime Wednesday!
Live from the Donald Bren Events Center[in Irvine, California!

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winner: Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Survivor: Wandering Star and Ruth Toskala

I think that North Star is going to clear house this week. Kate is going to be in full form because of Slam-o-week, but I think that Star and Ruth are still going to be able overcome here. The rest of teams are all looking good, but I don't think that they'll be good enough.

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Brian Genius

Rusty is probably going to make his presence known in this match, but I don't think that it'll be enough to save Leto. Genius is still "The Kickout Kid." There's no way that Leto keeps him down.

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: Zane "Zubaz" Vance ©

Yea, time to keep ZZV on a roll with this Broadcast championship. Pockchop Miller is going to be great in this match, especially with the dancing, but ZZV needs to stay with the push to keep his hopes up. Depressed ZZV is not a fun ZZV.

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com

Since they've signed their souls over to ZD, they've been losing, so I agree with everyone else. They are "The Future Tag Team Champs" so they need to stay an actual threat.

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: "Executioner" John Abbott

It's great to see that Ari isn't covered in crap anymore, but I don't think he's got what it takes to beat EC. John can just got crazy sometimes and I don't think that Ari is ready for that yet.

[AudeSapere]

everything

1. Funnily enough, Ari Richter's wiki picture is a shaggy, homeless-looking Ben Affleck.

2. Actually, the archnemesis of Fire Thunder Driver is Water Earth Miss Daisy, but you get points for coming close.

3. Do you truly think the Cavendish Estate is done for? C'mon, dogg. Jack and Dawkins have been dudes for like a dozen years now, fightin' all around the world, tossin' back shots at Applebee's with Buster Abbott, whackin' swarms of Puppets with cricket bats, laughin' and tellin' lies. (Why am I dropping all my gerunds?) Not to mention the fact that, you know, if not for the Cavendishes, there's a pretty good chance that Dawkins would be in jail right now. Yeah, Jack deceived Dawkins, went behind his back to hire the Guns, and made Dawkins look a right fool in the process. Does that really invalidate the better part of fifteen years of friendship? I find that hard to believe.

As for Penny... well, that situation's a little bit easier to understand if you have a little sister. A lot of times you don't understand them and their foibles, nor they yours (I imagine). But at some point you both reach a certain stage of maturity in which you can look past that and bond more over the things you had in common growing up, and the things you still have in common as a result of those upbringings. The situation has to be even more difficult for Jack to understand because, recall, he's 33. Penny's 18. That's a whole generational difference. My neighbor back home in Ohio is 9 1/2 years younger than me. She's never known a world without computers, high-speed Internet, or cell phones. She took her first computer class in kindergarten. My family got our first computer when I was 10. We didn't get the Internet (56k dial-up) until I was in 7th grade. The first time I saw SimFarm, I about shit myself. My first computer class was in 7th grade, taught by a former science teacher whose idea of fancy technology to this day is photoshopping his head onto the bodies of famous celebrities and cartoon characters. And I'm less than a decade older than her. So naturally, no matter what, at this juncture in their lives, Penny and Jack are rarely going to see eye-to-eye. But Penny will grow up, and Jack will come around a little bit and try to meet her partway. They're British nobility, and they both bear the Cavendish crest with pride, dammit. No matter how many sibling-rivalry feuds we see in pro wrestling, sometimes blood really is thicker than water. And frankly, Dawkins might as well be blood as well.

I think the Estate will be fine in the long run, is my general point.

[Greg]

You would be surprised how years of friendship and bonding can get thrown out the window without a moment's notice. Case in point, I was best friends with my cousin for years, we were the same age and did everything together. We made plans, followed through with a few of them, and lived together for a little while. Then in a three-month span, he lost his job for theft, lost his money in poker, ruined his relationship with his girlfriend (who was also a friend of mine), moved out on a moment's notice, leaving me with the bill, and he still owes pretty much everyone he knows money. His personality has done a 180 and if our relationship can be repaired, it's gonna take a LONG time.

Whatever relationship Dawkins had with Jack, it has ultimately resulted in physical pain, emotional pain, legal troubles, and he has to hear boos everytime he comes out with Jack. There's no sign it's gonna end soon, and it's not worth it to Dawkins to stick around.

Conversely, I'm eight years old then my sister, and we're awesome.

[blacktoothgrin]

all the estate has to do to get over their foibles is to beat the guns at cargado

[Greg]

Solving problems with wrestling matches!

[blacktoothgrin]

what else can they do

theyre wrestlers

[Greg]

Remember when Michael Vick was forgiven for the dog fighting charges by beating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 39-32?

[Greene]

Yes, unfortunately. In the court of fan-based public opinion.

[Greg]

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winners: Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Survivor: Ruth Toskala and Calamity Jane

As tough as some of it's members are, Team Everyones Hates Each Other will be too self-destructive to be a threat. Ruth has been on the "kicks ass but still loses anyway" hill for too long, so I want her to survive, and CALAMITY JANE! We should totally give her a win for her PGA debute! Plus it'll give USA cred without us feeling dirty inside.

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Dallas Leto

Brian Genius has not been the same since the issue with Pru, as subtle as these changes have been, and that should directly effect his wrestling. Hey, I don't WANT to vote for Dallas Leto, but I think things should effect other things and we shouldn't ignore that with our voting.

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: Zane "Zubaz" Vance

Ooooh, I'd almost give the belt to Porkchop if it meant he kept showing up! But then again, could you imagine the even deeper funk Zubaz would get into if he lost of PORKCHOP MILLER?

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com

Rule #2 - vote for your buds

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: John Abbott

Ari Richter is not a bad wrestler, but he's not also a invincible winning streak wrestler, and John Abbott is gonna hurt him a bit.

[Hirsby]

Sorry for the brevity, but my longer predictions were erased by a sudden browser shutdown. Also, I'm saving my words for all of the stuff I plan to have in early so we can get a show on Friday. FOLLOW MY LEAD, GANG!


Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winner: Ruth, Star, Keiko, Marcia, Cassie
Survivor: Calamity Jane
This will be closer than anyone thinks. Strong is a beast. Cameron is a beast who, even if she's on a team with people she hates, also hates everyone on the other side. I only see one woman surviving this, and we might as well book USA strong.


Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Dallas Leto
The promos are just too, too good. I have to pick against at least one of the main guys in the 'poison' matches, right? It doesn't have to be a clean loss for Genius by any means, but I like the idea of him still being off his game without Pru.


Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: ZZV
The comedy match by which all other comedy matches are judged.


Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com
Interesting that in Lucharesu's first big tag bout since their heel (tweener?) turn, they're still facing heels.


"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: John Abbott
You'd think you'd never get a chance to use the phrase, "I will beat you back into homelessness," but here we are.

[Ragingape]

Sorry for not commenting on the past show. It was really great but I am swamped studying for a test. Sorry guys.

Main Event
XX-Division Ten Woman Tag Team Elimination Match
In association with APG Ladyfight, and by order of Assistant to the Commissioner Ms. Flores
"Blood Angel" Kate Cameron, Penelope Cavendish, Natasha, Sara Strong and Pru vs. Ruth Toskala, Wandering Star, Keiko Asamura, Marcia Desmarais and Cassie "Calamity" Jane
Winner: Keiko
I think in a match like this it can't hurt to push the new girl. Like everyone said the opposite team has too many issues to function.

Choose Your Poison Match
Brian Genius vs. "The Amethyst Disciple" Dallas Leto
Winner: Brian Genius
Genius could use a good boost heading into the match at Cargado. Besides do you really think Rusty's orders to Leto are to try to win? Of course not.

Broadcast Championship Match
Zane "Zubaz" Vance © vs. "Porkchop" Miller
Winner: ZZV
A groove will be felt. It will be surfed.

Tag Team Match
Lucharesu.com vs. Constantine Davidov and Pavel Ushakov
Winner: Lucharesu.com
I think Lucharesu needs to get back into the title picture or given something else to do soon. The ZD stuff is fine but they need a feud to work in the ring.

"Executioner" John Abbott vs. Ari Richter
Winner: Ari Richter
I am voting against Executioner until he has to stick around. Granted that will probably happen at Cargado but whatever.

[BeeJ]

Before I forget, I totally caught the secondary and much more hidden Dragonball joke of comparing Whoomp Del Rio to Majin Buu. Tactfully done.

Ari Richter's Mindkiller was originally supposed to be a joke, right? It's just the Rude Awakening. Remember when that was a legitimate finisher? ...What's that? The night Chris Benoit killed his family? ...Yes, that was the last time the Rude Awakening was a legitimate finisher.

It really probably is for the best that Tyrone Rope is working staff now. He had been pretty inactive as a wrestler already.

The Announcer Bot dialogue was really something else. Great job on that. I like the joke that variables like names are PRONOUNCED LIKE THIS, as though the bulk of this conversation was already hardcoded into his programming.

Ruth and Brian Genius are never going to date. I'm sorry, but it just isn't going to happen. She'd be way better off with a guy like Johnny.

So Dawkins and Marisol had a domestic, huh? Under whose terms? Does that mean they shared High Life, Corona, or UNSPECIFIED BRITISH BEER

Executioner vs Zubaz will be very interesting. On the one hand, there's no way in hell Vance should be able to win this match. On the other hand, Executioner obviously isn't going anywhere. What's the catch? Maybe Zubaz will put the BC title up for grabs, and then when Ex becomes the champ, he's contractually obligated to stay? Is that it? Nah, that seems too flimsy. Something else has to go down to keep John Abbott in our system.

I had really been counting on Pierre Kirby making a huge return and being the key that unlocks the Zen Dungeon's handcuffs around the PGA (that's how that symbolism works, right?). I just knew he was going to be the hero, and I had been waiting for this moment forever.

Oh, wait, no, I'm wrong. I was thinking of anyone else. Sorry.

I would be remiss not to point out the humor of a bunch of reporters actually gathering for Rusty Cooledge's press conference, as opposed to a bunch of fakes that he paid off to pretend like he's an interesting guy. Also, Genius popping in just because is funny, in a romantic comedy that isn't funny kind of way. Brian Genius is turning into PGA's Hugh Grant.

I've always been a huge fan of MAKOTO. Dude deserves more air-time. Also, Todd Gregory totally deserved this ass-kicking. I'm a bit surprised at how level-headed Raijin has been to his students, though, even during this match. Please continue this angle!

I really hope JumBo isn't going through a phase of self-pity and doubt. He's supposed to be our shining star! Poor guy :-\

Everyone knows what an Arnold Palmer is, right? --- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Palmer_(drink) --- I get the feeling that that we in Canada called 'iced tea' is actually an Arnold Palmer, since you Americans considered 'iced tea' to just be straight-up cold tea. You don't know what you're missing!

Yes, we know what an Arnold Palmer is

[fenrir8806]

Ok, I should be able to get this done tonight so I can actually write a promo after reading all of the show this time. I haven't read the show, but I love some of the comments. I guess there is one benefit to not being totally indifferent anymore, people talk a lot more about me.


Why do we let BOB have these things? We all know that barbed wire is a terrible idea, especially on the end of a baseball bat.

Got to love the Good Dude helping boost the confidence of their fellow Good Dude. Friends are nice. Time to get him out of this funk. Ah, good, just a joke. Two-Freds Jackson? *facepalm*

Amazing Ari promo. That was a really great match between Ari and KBK. Thor needs to remember when he has the puppet arm on. Wow, so many counters. They my be low-card types, they can still put on a good match. Way to finish Ari.

Ouch, EC. Laughing in Sly's face? Not a good idea. He may be calm most of the time, but he'll kill you in 27 ways. EC is an idiot. I wonder what ZD will do to keep him around. Hmm, I guess it won't be ZD that keeps him around, it's ZZV.

Yup, I just want to punch Dallas Leto in the face, and I think I might. And I'm going to punch Rusty in the face too. I never knew there was a Miss Emo America too.

Yay, unannounced squash match for MAKATO. Death by kicks. An different match.

Yay, there's Konrad to answer SNS himself. And there goes SNS flying through the air. I think SNS thinks he won the mental battle there. Oh how wrong he is.

This is the problem with having North Star compete with the rest of the guys, there are some guys that won't hit them. It creates issues. I'm not saying they shouldn't, I'm just saying there can be complications.

Marisol is really awesome, she's just kinda toying with Lucharesu for the fun of it.

If only it could be jet skis through the wall all the time. That's the way to get around. Alright, after that awkward bit, time for ZZV and Nightdiver.

It's very important that Diver has all the gear on. Flooding in the arena could be a serious threat. Come on, that scuba gear add another 50 lbs on top of the weight advantage that Diver already has. Good plan ZZV, take off one piece of his armor at a time. Talk about literally taking apart your opponent. And there's Judicata being the turn-coat that he is. Wow, how did ZZV get his boot up that high? See, I told you that spit was toxic. YAY, ZZV wins, at the cost of his throat and a beating.

Awesome, "STEVENS SUCKS" chants are the best. Ah, there's the other Enhanced that signed in. I don't know how this match is going to go now. Wow, Kirby is stronger then I remember. Ah, yay for words that have multiple meanings. I wonder if he was ever bugging him in the first place? I dunno, an Arnold Palmer bath in the ring isn't quite as cool as a beer bath, but it's still pretty awesome.

Dang, we may never know what Brian's secret plan to keep Pru was. Oh well. Yay, Whoomp being a sleaze. Sometimes I'm cool with it, sometimes I'm not. I'm cool with it this week.

Brian: "...Johnny, I'm not telling you do anything against the rules later... but I would have no issues if you stuck to a primarily groin-based moveset tonight.”

Johnny: “…but what if he enjoys it?”

That is a serious concern. Ouch, that's harsh Pru. Maybe Nick should get her away from Rusty.

I think Sleep has still been relegated to the "Friends" circle. He'll never escape, it's a tough place to be. Sleep is going to get killed again if he keeps running his mouth. He's trying valiantly, but it's not working tonight. It's got to be tough coming to your younger sister with your hat in your hands, begging for help. Breaking of family ties to get her in.

That was a great promo by Sly. I could just see him standing there, discussing like it was a slideshow. And there is Crane. I thought you waited for the challengers to come to you. The way I saw that playing out was this giant pile of hate yelling and a calm and collected man in a suit. And there is the fury of Sly. Awesome.

A coffee pot as a weapon...now that's creative. I think King Falcon is actually bi-polar. Calm HATE!!!!! Calm.

J-Ropp and Crimson should really do this planning when they're not on camera. *sigh* The refs really need not get distracted as much. I don't remember who I voted for, but I hate you right now Whoomp. Biceps to the balls is uncalled for. Damn it Leto and Riddick. You two can die in a fire too.

I don't want to know who Kate's lover is.

Yea, be careful, HK, Girlfriendy may not like you talking about Ruth's butt quite like that. Wow, hoping he gets dick cancer. I figured she'd target that at Whoomp instead to save Star. LULZ, Jack's angry. I'm not sure who he's madder at, Ruth or the Guns or himself. It's a tough call. It was going to be two girls against two guys, now Jack is outnumbered in that category. Hmm, the Sweet Home Alabama rule, very interesting. Ouch, Ruth just likes hurting Sleep, doesn't she? He really needs to remember this for next time. This bit with Star and Jack is crazy awesome. Tried the same arm move to Star and Penny got caught, but she was able to save it. Wow, that's a giant submission pile. Ouch, crash and burn Cavendish Estate and the Guns with the "save". I must say, I read the comments about what people were saying about this part first. Ah, it feels good to be talked about. That is a hilarious sight of Dawkins and Sleep running down the ramp with all these EMT's following them.

Oh shit, railroad spike! And through the hand... I really don't know what to say. LBJ is just totally insane.