Progressive Boink

[Alex]

***World Championship Match***
---Bill Hanstock vs. James Voorhees (C)---



They lock up.
Bill Hanstock runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock misses with a clothesline.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a clothesline.
James Voorhees falls out of the ring.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: one, James Voorhees reenters the ring.
Bill Hanstock takes James Voorhees down with a Northern Lights suplex.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
Bill Hanstock nails James Voorhees with a Senton bomb.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, kickout.
James Voorhees sits up.
James Voorhees seemingly enjoys the boos.
Bill Hanstock uses a punch on James Voorhees.
Bill Hanstock takes James Voorhees down with a heart punch.
The cheers for Bill Hanstock are drowning out the boos.
Bill Hanstock executes a senton on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
Bill Hanstock executes a short-arm powerslam on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, shoulder up.
Bill Hanstock complains about a slow count.
Bill Hanstock uses a fisherman suplex on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, kickout.
James Voorhees sits up.
James Voorhees seemingly enjoys the boos.
Bill Hanstock uses Michinoku Driver B on James Voorhees.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
Bill Hanstock goes for a cobra clutch, but James Voorhees counters it with
an armdrag takedown.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock and James Voorhees get hit with a double clothesline.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the ropes, but James Voorhees
reverses it.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a shoulderblock.
Bill Hanstock hits a Senton bomb on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Bill Hanstock executes a dropkick from the second rope on James Voorhees.
Bill Hanstock executes a punch on James Voorhees.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a short-arm powerslam.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
James Voorhees sits up.
The cheers for James Voorhees are drowning out the boos.
Bill Hanstock takes James Voorhees down with a powerslam.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock executes a belly-to-belly suplex on James Voorhees.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
Bill Hanstock hits a Northern Lights suplex on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
James Voorhees sits up.
The cheers for James Voorhees are drowning out the boos.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the turnbuckle.
Bill Hanstock runs shoulder-first into the corner, but James Voorhees
moves out of the way.
James Voorhees goes for an STO, but Bill Hanstock counters it with a DDT.
James Voorhees sits up.
The crowd seems to be rallying behind James Voorhees.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the ropes, but James Voorhees
reverses it.
Bill Hanstock and James Voorhees get hit with a double clothesline.
Bill Hanstock throws James Voorhees out of the ring.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: one, two, three, four, five, James Voorhees
reenters the ring.
Bill Hanstock goes for a running powerslam, but James Voorhees blocks it.
James Voorhees hits a bearhug slam on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees catches Bill Hanstock in the Iron Claw.
Bill Hanstock is struggling to reach the ropes.
Bill Hanstock is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Bill Hanstock reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the ropes, but Bill Hanstock
reverses it.
Bill Hanstock takes James Voorhees down with a short-arm powerslam.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
Bill Hanstock executes a fisherman suplex on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the ropes.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with an elbow.
James Voorhees throws Bill Hanstock out of the ring.
James Voorhees goes through the ropes.
The crowd seems to be rallying behind James Voorhees.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the guardrail.
James Voorhees throws Bill Hanstock back into the ring.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock nails James Voorhees with a punch.
Bill Hanstock goes for a punch, but James Voorhees counters it with
a roundhouse right.
James Voorhees nails Bill Hanstock with a back suplex.
James Voorhees puts Bill Hanstock in the Crystal Lake Stretch.
Bill Hanstock is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Bill Hanstock reaches the ropes after being trapped for 8 seconds.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the ropes, but Bill Hanstock
reverses it.
James Voorhees misses with an elbow.
Bill Hanstock takes James Voorhees down with the OW MY KNEE.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, KICKOUT.
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a German suplex.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with a backdrop suplex.
James Voorhees goes for an STO, but Bill Hanstock blocks it.
Bill Hanstock goes for a fisherman suplex, but James Voorhees blocks it.
P.H. Folby comes to ringside.
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a Western lariat.
James Voorhees executes a backdrop suplex on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees places Bill Hanstock on the turnbuckle.
James Voorhees executes a belly-to-back superplex on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the turnbuckle, but Bill Hanstock
reverses it.
Bill Hanstock charges into the corner.
Bill Hanstock chops James Voorhees.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees.
Bill Hanstock kicks James Voorhees.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
James Voorhees chops Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees hits an STO on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees executes the Machete Driver on Bill Hanstock.
The cheers for James Voorhees are drowning out the boos.
James Voorhees goes for the pin.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
James Voorhees catches Bill Hanstock in the Crystal Lake Stretch.
Bill Hanstock reaches the ropes after being trapped for 14 seconds.
James Voorhees hits a headbutt on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a double underhook suplex.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a clothesline.
Bill Hanstock is going for the pin.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
James Voorhees sits up.
The boos are resurfacing again.
Bill Hanstock nails James Voorhees with the cross-face chicken wing.
The crowd is wildly cheering Bill Hanstock with only a few scattered boos
audible.
Bill Hanstock locks James Voorhees in a cobra clutch.
James Voorhees reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.
Bill Hanstock uses Michinoku Driver B on James Voorhees.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
Bill Hanstock goes for a powerbomb, but James Voorhees blocks it.
James Voorhees uses a heart punch on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees doesn't quite know what to do with the mixed reaction he
's getting.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with a kick to the head.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a shoulderblock.
Bill Hanstock locks James Voorhees in a camel clutch.
James Voorhees is valiantly trying to break the hold.
James Voorhees breaks the hold after 13 seconds.
James Voorhees places Bill Hanstock on the turnbuckle.
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a belly-to-back superplex.
The crowd is wildly cheering James Voorhees with only a few scattered boos
audible.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
James Voorhees hits a running butt splash on Bill Hanstock.
The crowd is wildly cheering James Voorhees with only a few scattered boos
audible.
James Voorhees nails Bill Hanstock with a boot to the face.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock and James Voorhees get hit with a double clothesline.
Bill Hanstock goes for a fisherman suplex, but James Voorhees counters it with
a small package.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, in the ropes...
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a backdrop.
James Voorhees attempts to place Bill Hanstock on the turnbuckle, but
Bill Hanstock blocks it.
James Voorhees hits a dropkick from the second rope on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees nails Bill Hanstock with a kick to the midsection.
James Voorhees throws Bill Hanstock out of the ring.
James Voorhees goes through the ropes.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: 1.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: 2.
Bill Hanstock is busted wide open.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
James Voorhees whips Bill Hanstock into the guardrail.
James Voorhees uses a kick to the midsection on Bill Hanstock.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: 3.
James Voorhees hits an armdrag takedown on Bill Hanstock.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: 4.
James Voorhees reenters the ring.
Bill Hanstock follows him back in.
James Voorhees executes a belly-to-back suplex on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees executes the Machete Driver on Bill Hanstock.
The crowd is wildly cheering James Voorhees with only a few scattered boos
audible.
James Voorhees goes for the pin.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, in the ropes...
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a clothesline from the top rope.
The boos are resurfacing again.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with a clothesline to the back of the head.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
James Voorhees places Bill Hanstock on the turnbuckle.
James Voorhees nails Bill Hanstock with a powerbomb off the top rope.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Bill Hanstock is bleeding like a faucet.
James Voorhees uses a bearhug slam on Bill Hanstock.
James Voorhees goes for a backdrop, but Bill Hanstock blocks it.
Bill Hanstock whips James Voorhees into the ropes, but James Voorhees
reverses it.
P.H. Folby trips Bill Hanstock.
"Blind" Jon Bois threatens James Voorhees with disqualification.
"Blind" Jon Bois warns P.H. Folby.
James Voorhees goes for a bearhug slam, but Bill Hanstock blocks it.
"Blind" Jon Bois is back on the job.
Bill Hanstock runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a shoulderblock.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with a Northern Lights suplex.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, shoulder up.
James Voorhees sits up.
The crowd is wildly cheering James Voorhees with only a few scattered boos
audible.
Bill Hanstock runs into the ropes.
Bill Hanstock hits James Voorhees with an elbow.
James Voorhees sits up.
The crowd is wildly cheering James Voorhees with only a few scattered boos
audible.
Bill Hanstock hits a powerslam on James Voorhees.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, kickout.
Bill Hanstock uses a punch on James Voorhees.
P.H. Folby throws James Voorhees a baseball bat.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with it and goes for the pin.
"Blind" Jon Bois threatens James Voorhees with disqualification.
James Voorhees runs into the ropes.
James Voorhees hits Bill Hanstock with a shoulderblock.
James Voorhees takes Bill Hanstock down with a high angle german suplex.
"Blind" Jon Bois counts: One, two, in the ropes... P.H. Folby knocks
Bill Hanstock's foot off the rope... three.
The boos are resurfacing again.

The winner is James Voorhees. Time of match: 0:14:49

[Alex]

Results of Wrestling Event 3:

P.H. Folby made Max Kafka submit to the Clutch-Hold Grasp in 0:07:56.
Rating: ****

Keasbey pinned The BeeJ with the
Inverted Japanese Corkscrew Shooting Star Legdrop Splash! in 0:12:14.
Rating: **** 1/4

Lindy Rules pinned Cory Corrina Hero with the Kempe-Out in 0:11:37.
Rating: **** 1/4

Phil MV and Brummbar defeated Robert Bashley and BEGGAR when Phil MV pinned
R. Bashley after the Emerald Frosion in 0:10:41.
Rating: *** 1/4

Rusty Cooledge pinned Chris Ollis with the Rusty Hinge in 0:16:37.
Rating: *** 3/4

GS Stevens and The Unicorn defeated Seth Roth and Hubris when GS Stevens pinned
Hubris with the Springboard Lariat in 0:15:17.
Rating: ** 1/4

Emily Danger and Kristen Ray battled to a double pin in 0:13:34.
Rating: *** 1/2
(Kristen Ray retained the Women's Title.)

Table Two-out-of-three-Falls Match:
Gran Illinoisio beat Matt Rodrigues 2 falls to 1:
x M. Rodrigues beat G. Illinoisio via putting him through a table in 0:04:52
x G. Illinoisio beat M. Rodrigues via putting him through a table in 0:16:48
x G. Illinoisio beat M. Rodrigues via putting him through a table in 0:20:40
Rating: *** 1/2
(Gran Illinoisio won the Secondary Title.)

James Voorhees pinned Bill Hanstock after a high angle german suplex in 0:14:49.
Rating: **** 1/4
(James Voorhees retained the Boink World Title.)

[Alex]

Amazing, four matches that garnered a four-star rating or better from our in-house critic! Keasby and Folby were especially impressive in their COMPETETIVE MATCHES THAT WEREN'T SQUASHES DAMN IT, and Lindy debuted wonderfully!

Sadly, it seems as though little was resolved here, Bashley, Beggar, Phil MV and Brummbar all still seem pissed off at each other, neither Kristen ray nor Emily Danger were able to attain a victory in their encounter, GS Stevens and Seth Roth seem destined to cross paths again very soon in some kind of No Mascots, No Mercy! situation, and I'll get to the world title match in a second.

Rusty Cooledge could not have been considered a favorite going into his match, though, so good job with an impressive victory!

The same can be said of Gran Illinoisio, winning the Secondary Title so decisively. Good job!

Oh, but that world title match ended so oddly. Folby, why would you cost Mr. Hanstock the match like that? I can't imagine that you and the champion are on good terms at all. So puzzling! I don't know what to do, I really don't. I'll decide later what to do regarding all of this.

In the mean time, I've decided something. We need to have a tournament to determine a new world title #1 contender. Yes. I will select five wrestlers to participate in a round robin style series of matches over the next month or so. 5 points for a win, two points for a draw, whoever has the highest score at the end gets a world title shot. It should be fun! I think I'll call it the Boink Championship Series, or BCS! And by the time that finishes up, everything else at the top of the card should hopefully reach some sort of resolution! Hooray!

I'll announce the participants soon enough, too.

Any questions concerns or requests, shoot me a PM or an IM or just post it in here! The overall standings are coming up next! Good night!

[Alex]

Presenting the WCBFWL rankings as of Wrestling Event 3! These include wins and losses in singles and tag matches, and current win streak.

1. James Voorhees (World Champion)
2. Gran Illinoisio (Secondary Champion)
3. Kristen Ray (Women's Champion)
4. Rusty Cooledge
5. Seth Roth
6. Brandon Stroud
7. Brummbar
8. Keasby
9. P.H. Folby
10. Matt Rodrigues
11. Brandon Kayala
12. Bill Hanstock
13. Lindy Rules
14. Emily Danger
15. The Unicorn
16. Robert Bashley
17. Phil MV
18. Hubris
19. GS Stevens
20. BEGGAR
21. Max Kafka
22. The BeeJ
23. Chris Ollis
24. Wrestlebot 3000
25. GIANT 2000
26. The Evil Gingivitis
27. Erica Battler
28. Cory Corrina Hero
29. Kane

[blacktoothgrin]

"Sweet 16" Robert Bashley has no time for rankings.

[A Link to the Matt]

Mr. Commisioner, I sure hope you have one of those tournament slots open for me, as it seems time and time again I prove how great I really am. It took a low blow to my giant testicles from that dirty rotten cheat Gran Ill in order to beat me, and I have my sights set higher than the secondary title right now anyway. I want that strap, and i damn well deserve it.

[Greg]

If I don't end up in the Round Robin and end up facing Seth, I want it to be worth something. If I win, I want another tag team title shot. No, I DEMAND another tag team title shot.

[Jordo]

Hubris!! You scrawny 300 pound string-bean Moogle!! Your lack of wit, muscles, talent, intelligence, charisma, wellness, and togetherness cost us that tag match. It's time for some tough love. At the next event, I'm throwing you to the wolves!!

Speaking of ferocious beasts that no one likes, I won't even bother to analyze how absurd GS Stevens is. If you don't realize that merely being in the same ring as me is an incentive, then you don't deserve any gold!!

[beggar]

I didn't learn compassion, teamwork, and camaraderie on the streets, commish! Quit putting me in these tag matches with stiffs like Phil MV and Bashley! You don't think it's just coincidence that THEY always take the fall, do you? My back is killing me from having to carry them AND my hobo sack! I thought WCPBFWL was going to be an opportunity for me. Instead, I have to deal with the same people that I had to share city blocks with...BUMS! And Bling Bling and Rufus the Stunt Bum are way better company than any of the boys in the back. So I am DONE with teaming with these pretty boys. Instead, I'ma gonna ugly their faces.

Spare some change please?

[Illinois Smith]

Hey Matt, maybe if your head wasn't concerned with how much deeck you have to suck to get a foot into the main-event scene you'd still have your title.

2-time, 2-time, 2-time Secondary Champion, beeyotches.