Progressive Boink

[Duzzy Funlop]

oh my god that was fantastic

Greetings, fleshlings! I am Mike, and I have come to bring DOOM and CHEESE and also DOOM to the Stupids and the Girlys. Did I mention DOOM? Quark fnark fnlee! I’m not sure how I ended up writing for this sparkly ol’ website. I think they tied me down and threatened me with sharp and stabby things. Eeeep! *squeezles plushie bear* >.<

this had me hyperventilating

[Andy]

Ahahaha, this is the most perfect thing put on the site since....well since the last free-range dugouts, but still, it dosen't need any changes by my count. GREAT work you guys. It's so cute.

I think the phrase "most beautiful man I have ever seen" when applied to that recorder playing guy is one of the funniest things I can imagine. It hits the large Ren. Fair goer stereotype right in the moneymaker.

[Maynard,]

I can genuinely say I don't know where to begin. There is too much good stuff here to start. Hearing that it will become a subsection of the site makes me very happy indeed.

[Z.S. Ghost]

WHAT THE HELL, MIKE FIREBALL

DID YOUR SMELLY LITTLE BROTHER HACK THE SITE OR SOMETHING? THIS IS SO NOT LIKE YOU AT ALL

This is probably the last thing I ever expected to see when opening Progressive Boink (this includes goatse). I wanted to get that out of the way before I read it, which I wil do...

wait...

wait... now.

[James]

oh hey mike is ol' blue hair anime hat piercings guy actually you or some other mike-type

[Hanstock]

She's another person.

[Z.S. Ghost]

Oh, by the way, story that didn't make sense at first:

On most days, PB is blocked on my school's computers for "Adult Content" or something vague like that.

Today, it was blocked for "porn".

[Karen]

I can't even pick a part to highlight as my favorite. Good job

/eats chocolate

[BeeJ]

...Is the picture of Blake actually a picture of Vince Russo?

[Mase]

This is just unreal, I'm lovin the staff page, especially Mike xD

[unclephilsmovie]

Oh god I have only read the "about" page so far and Mike's section almost murdered me.

EDIT: Hoooooooly shit I just read everything on the site, I don't even know what I liked best. I'll have to say the Bugout just because that's what I read last. I can't wait for more stupidgirlyshit. A+++ and a gold star

[Mike]

oh hey mike is ol' blue hair anime hat piercings guy actually you or some other mike-type

Pay attention to the thread, James. Every written thing is either Emily or Billiam Hanstock.

[James]

i know but you did site design and that was kinda what the mike on the about page did so it wouldn't have been entirely out of bounds that you would be some kind of horrifying cosplayer

[endlessmike]

this was soooo well-done and i really enjoyed reading it.

[TheEvilGingivitis]

It was pretty much the most frighteningly accurate parody I've seen in a long time. Mike's profile feels downright familiar (my only criticism is that her comic list would have been even more accurate/hilarious with Happy Noodle Boy in place of I Feel Sick).

You guys actually have a regular reader that I know elsewhere who is obsessed with Renaissance Faires, actually. She is totally awesome though.

[Jennifer]

I should be permabanned for the fact that I laughed for almost ten minutes straight at the name puns in the 'Bugout. I laughed at everything else, too, but puns always get me. I WANT MORE STUPID GIRLY SHIT.

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

I like how the 4th one ends with that empty threat and in number 5 it's business as usual at the "haute insect"

Fucking Hilarious.

[Mally]

What people come to our site for:
» lisa bonet

That about did me in.

[Bismark]

This was hilarious to walk into after not being here in about a week. Absolutely amazing. A perfect follow-up to the praise for the Onion, since your characters and photos are so instantly recognizable. Keep this coming back.

[Cory/Corrinna]

OOOOH man.

I last saw the onion write up and was like "aaah I'll get back to this..."
But then, coming back over a week later, my brain just flipped. For a split second I thought it was a legitimate, but then realized it's some sort of awesome prank and click, and laughed.

Might I suggest a couple lifts from all those girly mags of ye olden days? I recall "say anything" which was where readers wrote in their most embarassing moments. I'm sure you could twist that around into something worthwhile.

And how about an actual fashion section? Something like...Where the Bugout girls make all kinds of suggestions of what's going to be so hot and what to wear and whatnot?

Anyways, awesome job. Awe. Some.