Progressive Boink

[Mike]

B and Justin canceled our update after remembering about GTA IV coming out today, so go take another look at every GTA joke we've ever written.
https://www.progressiveboink.com/

Next week is Mario Kart week.

Fuck we never wrote about no Mario carts.

[Casey]

two of the articles still link to the IHBFD.

[A Link to the Matt]

Great fucking dugout. And I cant wait to read GTA:midway again.

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

My favorite part of Nick's article is this:

The remainder of my summer was spent in program euphoria, running red lights and honking my horn at inappropriate times. Oh how I couldn’t wait to turn 16. The day I got my license I drove to a pay phone to receive my first mission. It was to wipe out those no good Yakuza polluting the corner in front of Dave’s Gun Shop. I stole an Astrovan and found an Uzi behind a nameless brick building. I pulled up, set my E-brake, and starting ripping shells. 7 dirty apes in all, 5 of which I wiped out right in front of the store. The other 2 jumped into a car and sped off. The chase was on. I was in hot pursuit of those rat-ass coke-pushing assholes when they darted into the woods. I followed them in, but it was a trap. 5 machine guns drilled the side of my car, igniting the gas tank. I was incinerated immediately. I woke up in front of the hospital with less cash, no car, and zero guns. I decided to go over my friend’s house and play GTA.

[Mike]

URLs are fixed. Karen's old desktop is a lil' ol' stew-pit bitch.

[James]

i'm still surprised that people thought Ted George was real even though it contained the phrase "messy motherfucker"

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

Haha, that article is gold, only improved by the people immediately believing it.