Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

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Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby Kyle » Mon Jun 21, 2025 11:54 am

read jon's new post dudes.

First, you have to be a living thing like a baby or adult. Second, you can't be always sleeping all the time. Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES. Four, you have to be able to walk. Five, no showboating.

I have fou're words four you. Not. Exactly. Jon. Whall. [Note to editor: just stared at that for 29 seconds, almost positive it's spelled wrong, please check]


+all the notes to the editor

-=Squiddy=-


A Link To The Matt wrote:Double woot for the spood man. Congrats.

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Re: Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby Bismark » Mon Jun 21, 2025 2:26 pm

I love the accidentally pasted email to his wife
baollis wrote:If being awkward and dorky gets you laid, I'm marvin f'n gaye.

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Re: Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby David » Tue Jun 22, 2025 11:19 am

Bismark wrote:I love the accidentally pasted email to his wife
B wrote:I'm just getting old, and starting to wish people would be more open and honest about things they liked and expressive about their joy, rather than hyperbolic and thorough about their disappointments.

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Re: Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby Ragingape » Tue Jun 22, 2025 11:37 am

Yeah that was great but "two out of five ain't bad" was my favorite line by far. I'm hoping Jon wrote this because of some crappy article that was sent to him at SB Nation.

I also enjoyed the concept of listing specific babies, as in not just five random babies but these specific five would be terrible at basketball. I have no idea how one could make that judgment.

Kwame Brown is terrible.

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Re: Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby Jon » Tue Jun 22, 2025 1:00 pm

thanks y'all. This article isn't quite as accessible as most of the others we've posted lately -- I still love the idea of it, but I feel like I could have packaged it in a way that would have made it a more inviting read.

This article isn't really based on a personal experience -- obviously there have been times when I have an impending deadline, self-imposed or otherwise, and start grasping for straws, but that happens to just about everybody. It was inspired more by some of the columns pumped out by big-name sportswriters like Rick Reilly, Bill Simmons, etc. Both of these guys are actually very talented pure writers, but they assume expertise in areas (soccer, to take one example) that they know nothing about. There are several sports that I can't write about with authority (again, soccer); my solution is to either riff on it in a way that won't come off as ignorant, or just not write about it at all.

Anyway, more to the point: I read a Rick Reilly piece lately that came off as really desperate and hurried. It's such a fucking sorry piece of writing that if you aren't familiar with Reilly, you'd probably think that there's no way he's actually a good writer. This piece was the main thing that inspired me to write my article, but it's one of many examples of this.

Begin Freakin' Rant: At SB Nation, there have certainly been a couple of times where someone submitted an article to me and I was like, "eeeeeesh," but I've been really surprised by how much talent is over there. A lot of the team-specific blogs are great (just to name a few, our Mariners, Mets, Chiefs, and Sacramento Kings blogs), and the main site is full of ace writers. A lot of people who are only vaguely familiar with us put us in the same category as Bleacher Report -- if you're familiar with Bleacher Report, you know how terrible of an insult that is, and we die a little inside whenever we hear it. End Freakin' Rant!
AVENGE ME

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Re: Third, NO TEN MINUTE OLD BABIES

Postby BeeJ » Thu Jun 24, 2025 10:00 am

Oof... That Reilly article is rooooouugh. But yours is great! I laughed a whole lot.
Image

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