Progressive Boink

[B]

Kinda breaking our unwritten rule about not wanting to start a feedback thread for our own new articles with the excuse that this is a sequel post and part of a future series and it'd be neater and more organized to just keep it all in one thread.

https://www.progressiveboink.com/index.php?/ ... ok-part-2/

I hope you guys like it. I like writing dumb jokes about the Bible (especially now that I know Beej is exactly like me) and I'm excited about the opportunities the new format and scheduling provides. So, check it out. Let me know what you thought was funny.

[Rusty Cooledge]

Chris names the Raven "Caw" so he can say his own name (and give Jack Handy a deep thought) but that's a bad idea, because Gizmo never gives his CAW enough stamina.

Hahahahah omg

Loved the first Superbook article, loved this one as well, cheers!

[BeeJ]

as soon as he starts to stop him he runs out of power and makes that BWOOOOWWWWOWWW loss-of-stamina noise from Smackdown vs. Raw

EXCELLENT, she'll be surprised to know she ended up on a website

I was gonna go to the class, but [strikeout]then I got high[/strikeout] I saw that this article was up and read it post-haste.

I came up with another joke:

After John Hennigan came Matt son of Capotelli, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel.

the joke is that there's only one verse about him in the whole bible

[Just!n]

Updating as I read.

They really use FRACTIONS as a plot device to get from casual indifference to caring? FRACTIONS? REALLY?

and then explaining to a group of children that God doesn't like to party so he's going to kill everyone in the world except for them

God: The Ultimate Buzzkill

Chris and Joy stand in the doorway talking about how much better this is than a zoo because the animals aren't in cages

looooooooooooool @ them basically telling kids that lions are friendly and should be pet.

Meanwhile, the haphazardly put-together villagers are Partying Hard, chowing down on a hunk of meat they could've used to distract a moblin and pervasively smoking and having a grand old time singing and dancing

i get that this is a children's show and they can't exactly show the villagers writing around in sweaty fuckpiles, but eating meat, singing and dancing is enough to evoke the rapture? really? that's like every friday in kingergarten.

The raven never comes back, so it dies, or it is A BIRD.

looooooooooool

The next day Noah realizes his mistake and sends out a white bird, because he wants it to work.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

love how they were sent there to learn about caring, learned a lesson about patience and then the dove brought back the symbol for peace. the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate.

Noah asks God for a sign that he will never destroy the Earth again by The Flood, and God sends a sparkling rainbow.

lol @ noah grasping at straws for a sign as opposed to recognizing that rainbows are just what happens after it rains. it's like homer asking god to give him no sign.




good shit!!!!! - squiddy

[tmbg13]

I was reading this out loud and I actually had to stop at multiple points ("Drawn the Baptist"; Goron Noah; etc.) it was making me laugh so hard. It's like an Ark of the Covenant of humor. I can't look at it without laughing my face off.

part of a future series

o god yes

[David]

I like that Pat Robertson was secretly trying to convince Japanese children that their culture's art was all Christian. "Hey you see that red circle on your flag, that's where they hammered the nail into Jesus' hand."

Please confirm that this is a true story.

[B]

It's not really "proving it" but

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superbook

According to CBN's official Superbook Website, Superbook was born of a desire by evangelist and CBN head Pat Robertson to reach Japan, where Christians constitute a minority of the population. Research conducted by CBN in Japan during the late 1970s and early 1980s indicated that children were likely to be the most receptive audience to Bible stories and that the best way to reach them was through Christian anime and manga. Thus, CBN contracted with Yomiko Advertising and Tatsunoko Production to create and market an anime series that would help drive Bible sales in the Japanese market. In this and in audience ratings, Superbook was a success, and the series was rerun frequently on local stations in Japan through the 1980s.

[Whittle]

1) the CAW joke was awesome

2) the gallagher joke made me laugh more than anything

https://www.progressiveboink.com/b/sbook2/sb15.jpg

[Folby]

The next day Noah realizes his mistake and sends out a white bird, because he wants it to work.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

so um I didn't really lol @ this so much as go "um" in a "that seems like a really racist joke to me" sense


I mean work means different things so it's possible that you meant it like "succeed" and not like "black people are lazy and shiftless" but it still comes off that way. I mean, I know you, I don't think you meant it like that. But even meaning "because he wants it to succeed" I don't get how the joke works outside of "black people are good at basketball and not at finding land."

[Just!n]

i'm not gonna defend the sanctity of the joke or anything and it's clearly playing on negative stereotypes but i laughed because of how out of nowhere and unexpected it was. shock humor for the sake of is stupid, but that was timed well enough and was so in sync with what was happening in the cartoon to make it work in spite of it's offensiveness.

[B]

It was a really racist joke. I'm not going to say it's something else. But I don't do that a lot so I thought it'd be funny there. It's obviously not meant to be taken seriously, which is why it's in the middle of an episode review for a Japanese cartoon about the Bible and not in anything that could be hurtful toward minorities in any possible way.

edit: fuck, beaten, Justin is basically saying what I was trying to say

[Andy]

It made me laugh in a largely 'wtf' manner. No regrets.

Today's adventure, Here Comes the Squirtle Squad

Aaaaaaawesome

The only negative thing that came to mind as I was reading it was this quote

Chris doesn't give a rip about fractions (because fractions are a colossal waste of time and worthless knowledge in the real world, where you only come across them on the sides of measuring cups and in misleading gas station price postings)

Because it seemed kind of muddled. But that's arguable and is admittedly not a big enough deal to make more than a passing note about. Other than that I'm glad to say this well exceeded the last Superbook in terms of lols for me. Nice.

[Rusty Cooledge]

Hahah the squirtle squad quote did it for me too, it being the only pokemon episode title ill ever remember.

[Spoodles]

I have very strong laughter feelings in re: this paragraph.

Chris and Joy stand in the doorway talking about how much better this is than a zoo because the animals aren't in cages (that's what's been keeping me from enjoying the zoo) and are accosted by the raven (again, the one raven) and one of the doves from earlier. Gizmo suggests that "new friends need new names" so they name the birds. Chris names the Raven "Caw" so he can say his own name (and give Jack Handey a deep thought) but that's a bad idea, because Gizmo never gives his CAW enough stamina. Joy names her dove "Dove of Peace," marking the first moment where these meddling anachronistic asshole kids influence Judeo-Christian history. Who names their pet "Dove of Peace?" Should I go to the pet store and buy a ferret and name it "Ferret of Tranquility?" I think Joy knows a little more about the Bible than she's letting on.

[Hanstock]

And like clockwork King Belshazzar gets drunk and Gizmo is the only one who can keep him from taking the sacred golden and silver vessels, and as soon as he starts to stop him he runs out of power and makes that BWOOOOWWWWOWWW loss-of-stamina noise from Smackdown vs. Raw, and MENE, TEKEL, and PERES end up on the wall and everybody ends up slain.

all of this = holy shit

And whew, thank goodness we turned to the page about Noah's Ark, if we'd turned one page fewer we would've ended up in the chapter about zebras.

Jokes where you have to take a second look totally rule.

Also the picture of Gizmo immobilized.

and Joy asks, "I WONDER WHERE WE ARE?" knocking out the two most important parts of any Superbook episode: worthless participation and complete ignorance. Hey Joy, maybe you are where Superbook said he was going to send you like 15 seconds ago. Oh well hey maybe you're right maybe he sent you into the future where NO YOU ARE AT NOAH'S ARK, LOOK THROUGH THE BUSHES.

This is quintessential P-Boi and it is awesome.

comes down from humorously discussing what a cubit is with God

heh

Chris names the Raven "Caw" so he can say his own name (and give Jack Handey a deep thought) but that's a bad idea, because Gizmo never gives his CAW enough stamina.

Like four jokes at once! Oh the humanity!

After 40 Days and 40 Nights, Josh Hartnett is raped by his ex-girlfriend the Ark comes to a rest on top of Mt. Ararat (a Turkish word meaning "the wrong rodent")

incredible

Maybe I'm thinking too much about it. There's a lot of really good, sweet stuff in the Bible.

In the next episode: God tells a man to kill sacrifice his only son because he's fucking with him

Awesome read of course. Looking forward to more!

[Laura~]

2) the gallagher joke made me laugh more than anything

Me too. Incredible. I thought this article was good fun. I like that you showed the absurdities of a poorly developed children's program. I also enjoyed the end with the part about Abraham.

[Ragingape]

This was fun. I actually remember watching Superbook in Sunday school at around age 8 or 9.
I remember it being ridiculous but not like this. Holy crap. See if you can get ahold of the Flying House (another Christian cartoon series).

The part about Noah being a complete psychopath was my favorite. It's actually a hard thing to rationalize. Even a devout Christian man would have thought he was a psychopath.

[BeeJ]

Of course he sounded like a psychopath! His peers laughed at him, which is what made him such a MAN OF FAITH~!

[Zack Hoagie]

Reposting this to say that TBN's Smile of a Child childrens netwrok have been playing both Superbook and Gospel Bill back to back on weekdays around 12:30.

Actually being able to watch this makes it 20000x times more funny. Also, how the fuck did I miss a Strife reference.