Progressive Boink

[B]

hey b why do you hate michigan so much

is there a reason beyond "crime, kind of boring"

Because I learned to be an OH-bro.

[B]

"The minute I forget to balance reality with the fantasy, I'm going back to Virginia."



15. Virginia - 390 points
(30 of 47 lists. 3 #1 votes - B, Natasha, Kyle)

Notable Virginians: Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Ralph Stanley, Danny McBride
Additional Virginians: Wanda Sykes, Earl Hebner, Michael Vick
also: me

The Commonwealth of Virginia is a U.S. state on the Atlantic Coast of the Southern United States. Named after honor of Elizabeth, the “Virgin Queen” of England, Virginia is nicknamed the "Old Dominion" and sometimes the "Mother of Presidents" because it is the birthplace of eight U.S. presidents. The geography and climate of the state are shaped by the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Chesapeake Bay. Virginia was one of the Thirteen Colonies in the American Revolution and joined the Confederacy in the American Civil War, during which Richmond was the Confederate capital and the state of West Virginia separated. Northern Virginia is the home of the Department of Defense and CIA (and is the setting for most episodes of the X-Files). Virginia does not have a major professional sports franchise.

Fun Facts:

- Virginia is for Lovers, especially underage, semi-illiterate lovers who refuse to use birth control.

- Virginia is known as "the birthplace of a nation," because of its importance to U.S. history and because if you are in Virginia you get to spend three hours silently watching black people get accosted by the KKK.

- The eight United States Presidents born in Virginia are: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, William Harrison, John Tyler, Zachary Taylor, and Woodrow Wilson.

- The major cash crop of Virginia is tobacco and many of the people who live there earn their living from the tobacco industry. This prompted a big "LOL you guys still have a SMOKING SECTION, what the hell" from me when I visited my parents.

[A Link To The Matt]

Is it possible this will be our first LOS with a unanimous vote? I can't imgaine anyone leaving off CA or NY (I would put hawaii here but sometimes people just forget about hawaii) ill be excited to see if any state gets a full number of votes, but seeing as we couldn't get everyone to put homer and mr burns in their top 25 simpsons characters, a unanimous vote seems unlikely for any list we do.

[B]

"Way down yonder in New Orleans, In the land of dreamy scenes, there's a garden of Eden, you know what I mean."



14. Louisiana - 407 points
(30 of 47 lists. Highest ranking #3 - Stan Park)

Notable Louisianians: Louis Armstrong, Karl Malone, Ellen DeGeneres, William Fontaine De la Tour D'Haute Rive
Additional Louisianians: Britney Spears, Harry Connick Jr., Lee Harvey Oswald

Louisiana is a state located in the southern region of the United States of America. Its capital is Baton Rouge and largest city is New Orleans. Some Louisiana urban environments have a multicultural, multilingual heritage, being so strongly influenced by an admixture of 18th century French, Spanish, Indian and African cultures that they are considered to be somewhat exceptional in the U.S. Before the American influx and statehood at the beginning of the 19th century, the territory of current Louisiana State had been a Spanish and French colony. In addition, the pattern of development included importing numerous Africans in the 18th century, with many from the same region of West Africa, thus concentrating their culture. Jerks started liking Louisiana when Girls Gone Wild started, concerned people started liking it when Hurricane Katrina happened, media snobs started liking it when the people from the Wire made a show about it.

Fun Facts:

- The world famous "Mardi Gras" is celebrated in New Orleans. Mardi Gras is an ancient custom that originated in southern Europe. It celebrates food and fun just before the 40 days of Lent: a Catholic time of prayer and sacrifice.

- Louisiana was named in honor of King Louis XIV, or possibly the character from the Jungle Book. If someone you meet in Louisiana gives you a "gay-roan-tee," they are threatening you.

- The Popeye's Chicken franchise promises "Louisiana. Fast!" but fails to mention that it is also disgusting.

- In 1803 the United States paid France $15 million for the Louisiana Territory. 828,000 square miles of land west of the Mississippi River. The lands acquired stretched from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains and from the Gulf of Mexico to the Canadian border. Thirteen states were carved from the Louisiana Territory. The Louisiana Purchase nearly doubled the size of the United States.

[Simon]

Minnesota is home of The Replacements, Husker Du, Prince, Low, Bob Dylan, basically every pro wrestler ever, Paul Wellstone, Al Franken, The Mighty Ducks AND Little Big League. It is possible that my impressions of the state, which spring entirely from Rocky & Bullwinkle, Garrison Keillor and the old Twins logo where the baseball players are shaking hands, are inaccurate but I'm still pretty sure that Minnesota is far and away the best thing your country has going for it and you guys voted for Virginia instead like a bunch of chumps.

I did not vote for Tennessee super highly but it is also the state of Stax Records, Haven Hamilton, Jerry Lawler wrestling a frankenstein monster, the pick-up line 'you're the only ten I see', and Big Star. You guys voted for Virginia.

Wisconsin is nothing but sausages, sausages all the day. I don't even know what you guys are fucking around with with Virginia.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

media snobs started liking it when the people from the Wire made a show about it.

hey now, my interest in new orleans began at least two weeks before i heard about treme

[B]

Minnesota is home of The Replacements, Husker Du, Prince, Low, Bob Dylan, basically every pro wrestler ever, Paul Wellstone, Al Franken, The Mighty Ducks AND Little Big League. It is possible that my impressions of the state, which spring entirely from Rocky & Bullwinkle, Garrison Keillor and the old Twins logo where the baseball players are shaking hands, are inaccurate but I'm still pretty sure that Minnesota is far and away the best thing your country has going for it and you guys voted for Virginia instead like a bunch of chumps.

I did not vote for Tennessee super highly but it is also the state of Stax Records, Haven Hamilton, Jerry Lawler wrestling a frankenstein monster, the pick-up line 'you're the only ten I see', and Big Star. You guys voted for Virginia.

Wisconsin is nothing but sausages, sausages all the day. I don't even know what you guys are fucking around with with Virginia.

Shortest explanation: U.S. HIstory's most important location.

Secondary explanations: It is beautiful, it is temperate (and has all four seasons, unlike Ohio and the like), and I am from there.

[Ed]

My family own property on Claytor Lake, near Blacksburg, in Virginia

When I go there it's generally the happiest I've been since I last went there.

[David]

- The Popeye's Chicken franchise promises "Louisiana. Fast!" but fails to mention that it is also disgusting.

No

[B]

"All my exes live in Texas. That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee."



13. Texas - 422 points
(31 of 47 lists. Highest ranking #2 - Destiny)

Notable Texans: Nolan Ryan, Dwight Eisenhower, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Wes Anderson
Additional Texans: Anna Nicole Smith, Mark David Chapman, Nick Jonas

Texas is the second-largest U.S. state by both area and population, and the largest state in the contiguous United States. The name, meaning "friends" or "allies" in Caddo, was applied by the Spanish to the Caddo themselves and to the region of their settlement in East Texas. It is nicknamed the "Lone Star State" to signify Texas as an independent republic and as a reminder of the state's struggle for independence from Mexico. Due to its long history as a center of the cattle industry, Texas is associated with the image of the cowboy. The state's economic fortunes changed in the early 1900s, when oil discoveries initiated an economic boom in the state.

Fun Facts:

- The Alamo is located in San Antonio. It is where Texas defenders fell to Mexican General Santa Anna and the phrase Remember the Alamo originated. The Alamo is considered the cradle of Texas liberty and the state's most popular historic site. It does not have a basement.

- The Houston Comets are the only team in the country to win four back-to-back WNBA championships. 2000's championship game drew a record number of fans, packing the Houston Toyota Center with over eight fans.

- El Paso is closer to Needles, California than it is to Dallas. This is real, I checked it on Google Maps.

- Propane is a safe, clean-burning fuel.

[Pronounced Bran-dun Ky-la]

Wisconsin is nothing but sausages, sausages all the day. I don't even know what you guys are fucking around with with Virginia.

Sometimes we make cheese!

[Z. S. Ghost]

I'm hurt about New Jersey, man. We're at least top ten. You bros missed the mark there. Texas not cracking the top ten also surprises me, just because, hey, it's Texas. Then again, the only state that surprises me to still be yet to come is Maryland. I put Maryland high for personal reasons, but - oh, wait, Maine's also still waiting? What the fuck? What's that blurb even gonna be, "Stephen King and also scenery?" oh and lighthouses too

[tmbg13]

I'm hurt about New Jersey, man. We're at least top ten.

lol

[CH]

Voted Maryland high strictly due to The Wire. Been through there once on the way to DC, didn't even get out of the car. Still in my top-8.

And in the words of Little Nicky "Popeyes Chicken is fuckin excellent."

[Wat]

If someone you meet in Louisiana gives you a "gay-roan-tee," they are threatening you.

ahahahaha

[wha]

16. New Jersey - 390 points

WHAT NO

- People in New Jersey won't let you pump your own gas, either because they want tips for doing nothing or because they think you are a great big baby.

This is true and it is awesome and I sort of never want to leave NJ for it. Also, I have never ever tipped a gas station attendant or known someone to do so. Ever.

- North Jersey is the car theft capital of the world, with more cars stolen in Newark then any other city and more than New York City and Los Angeles put together.

basically the only way to not get your car broken into is to drive one that looks like it's already been hit up a couple of times

- New Jersey has the tallest water tower in the world. Jersey native Bruce Springsteen would climb to the top of it as a teenager and get all pensive about how life has been treating him.

I am a five-minute drive from this--like, I pass it every day on the way to school--it is big and gray and says "UNION" on it and there is a website dedicated to it http://www.worldstallestwatersphere.com/

But this is sad. I don't know why I thought Jersey, with its horrible reputation, would be any higher than this...but I did. :/

[Alicia]

I thought Virginia and all its trees were pretty. We stayed right outside of DC in Alexandria, VA and I giggled every time the train would cross states and the engineer would announce, "Last stop in the Commonwealth of Virginia." I have no idea what commonwealth means.

It does not have a basement.

This is the first thing I learned when visiting the Alamo.

[A Link To The Matt]

Texas not cracking the top ten also surprises me, just because, hey, it's Texas. Then again, the only state that surprises me to still be yet to come is Maryland. I put Maryland high for personal reasons, but - oh, wait, Maine's also still waiting? What the fuck? What's that blurb even gonna be, "Stephen King and also scenery?" oh and lighthouses too

If Texas cracked the top ten I was going to blow up the internet. Anyone who has been to the majority of that state (even Ill admit there are some good parts but they are few and far between for how big of a fucking state it is.) knows what a fucking hole it is. Dallas and Houston suck the big one and are probably the worst big cities in our country. Fuck Texas.

As for Maine, its endlessly pretty, and a great spot for people to retire to for the summers. And yes, Stephen King.

[Axel]

Probably jacks up the price a fair amount, you see full service stations in Ohio on occasion and it costs about 10 cents extra per gallon.

In my experience as a formerly frequent commuter between NJ, PA, NY and occasionally CT, New Jersey consistently has the lowest gas prices in the New York/Philadelphia Metropolitan area.

[Greg]

Aw, I guess I won't be going to Texas. I wanted to talk Animorphs with Beej!