Progressive Boink

[Matt W]

I wonder if it was a Christmas BBS meeting.

[Hanstock]

Nightdiver pauses. The tension hangs as thick as the gunsmoke in the air. After a long moment, the Russian collapses to the ground.

"...and a Happy New year."

Nightdiver lowers his Uzi and takes a deep breath. It's finally over.

[James]

seriously though 7th sounds like a guy in a movie introducing his gang, but his gang's the most pathetic group of misfits in history

he has to replace things like "That's Deadeye - you don't want to get on his bad side. Craziest motherfucker I ever saw, and can throw knives like nobody's business" with "She was hot in a Zooey Deschanel kinda way, thin, fair complected, long jet black hair, wore a cowboy hat with a long feather stuck in it."

[Hanstock]

Nightdiver takes a half-step forward, listening intently. Suddenly, Breeze emerges from the shadows. Her leather catsuit shapes her frame seductively. She tosses her natural read hair and flashes him a half-smile.

"It's about time. I was wondering when you'd show up."

Nightdriver puts down the lamp.

"You know me. I like to work late."

[James]

we could just start making up friends for 7th

Hardline - a half-deranged psycho who was a fiend at open source technology. One time I saw him bite the cap off a beer bottle.

Burnt Umber - a real barrel-of-laughs guy. he went parasailing in the Caribbean one time. kept a photo of his wife in his pocket.

Jake "Tom Servo" Vanblot - he watched mystery science theater 3000 a lot. he enjoyed cheetos and smoked the finest imitation cuban cigars money could buy.

[Whittle]

Darren "The D3capitat0r" Sloan - His wife constantly made gingerbread cookies. He grew sick of them and decided to show his displeasure by only eating the heads of the cookies.

Heh.

[James]

Todd "Full House" Chauncer - luckiest motherfucker i ever saw. played poker almost all the time. i think he cheated or something, i don't know

[Hanstock]

Breeze cinches the tourniquet tight.

"You're out of your mind, Gandalf23. We need to get you to a hospital."

Gandalf23 coughs wetly. He chuckles and looks bravely at Breeze.

"I think maybe this wizard just needs food. Badly."

Nightdiver grabs Breeze's arm and pulls her to her feet. He glares at her coldly. The moonlight reflects off his stubble. He's all business.

"He'll be fine. We've got to go."

[Daniel]

sounds like he's talkin bout mystery men 2 or some shit

and

The guy I mentioned, Nightdiver?

fuckin lol @ this

[Bismark]

this thread is a horrifying bullseye

[James]

darlene "ants-in-the-pants" mccaughington - she was the whitest dancer i ever saw. seriously it was like watching carlton from the fresh prince i swear to god. but when she got serious and started coding, it was better than dancing. it was a subtle, beautiful form of art.

bob "rooty-toot-toot" bolzenski - fucker loved dogs i tell you what; he used to be a veterinarian's assistant, until he got fired for playing with the dogs instead of working. i hear he plans on getting a dog of his own one day.

[Hanstock]

Full House peers nervously over Shadowchaser's shoulder, arming sweat off of his forehead. Shadowcaster types furiously on the keyboard, racing the clock and trying to deactivate the alarm systems.

"Come on, can't you do that any faster?"

"Lay off, I'm doing everything I can!"

"You realize that if you can't shut this system down, Nightdiver is never going to make it out of there alive?"

Shadowchaser sets her jaw. She knows.

Meanwhile, inside the compound, Nightdiver and the shadowy stranger both pull their triggers. Two simultaneous clicks reveal that both are out of ammo. They drop their weapons to the ground. Nightdiver's face breaks out into a cold, almost evil grin.

"Looks like it's time to box."

[Daniel]

tall timmy - i swear, dude had to be at least six feet tall. look out playing b-ball with this monster.

[the judo madonna]

sundown, if your script ends up taking off huge (and i'm sure it will), you should totally try to get this one optioned for your sophmore effort. I'm losing it over here.

[James]

al "white heat" bodanskivich - craziest motherfucker i ever saw. he bought a .32 revolver that he used to shoot at cans, bottles and, sometimes, when he was in one of his moods, pigeons. shot himself in the leg once, but didn't let that stop him. i swear to god he'd throw a chair through a window if you commented on the constant stream of dribble piddling down his face.

[Bismark]

Tyrell "Shampoo" Washington. He got the name from selling fake shit. His family has this secret recipie chicken rub that he used to sell. As a joke, a friend kicks him this college kid trying to buy weed. The kid thinks the chicken spice line is a gimmick to keep things quiet and buys a bag. A week later, the kid shows up and buys three more. Then his friends start coming. Motherfucker made a fortune off a bunch of dumb kids smoking parsely and saffron. How did I know him? I used to buy my weed off of him.

[Kyle]

Mike "Da Moose" Penabad - Real, honest-to-god lunatic. Used to go to Wal-Mart with his buds and ride around in the shopping carts. I wonder what ever happened to him...

Steve "steveo pants" Fletcher - Never met a Big Mac he didn't like. We used to razz the guy about his eight-way oblem-pray, but underneath, he had a heart of gold.

Daniel "Vampyre Kyller" Criswell - This guy? Total. Psycho. One time, Craig "Craig" Reichart razzed him about his divorce. Let's just say, heh, Craig never made that mistake twice.

[Hanstock]

They gaze up at the exhaust vent. It must be at least eight or nine feet off the ground. Nightdiver turns to Tall Timmy.

"You know what you have to do, Timmy."

Tall Timmy takes a deep breath, then nods. Nightdiver presses the shaped charge into his hand.

"Jump a good one, you tall son of a bitch. Jump a good one."

[James]

Chaz "Fire_Soul" Windledown - we were best buds; he was always jokin' around about settlin' down and havin' kids with a nice girl. one day we were in the checkout at the local walgreens and i forgot my wallet. he said "go on ahead, i'll cover for it" and i said "you maniac! payday isn't 'til friday! how are you going to afford that dirtbike you've had your eye on?" and he turned to me with the steeliest resolve i've ever seen, and he said "well, we'll just see, won't we? now get going"

as i left i turned around for one last glance at this unsung hero. i never saw him again.

[Kyle]

Jeff "Farty McCrablice" Connell - Oh man, this guy. Wow. This is taking me back. This guy used to go into closed construction sites at night and take the fire extinguishers. Lord knows what he'd do with those bad boys afterwards.

Ellen "Kitten_of_doom" Sachs - The sweater puppies on this chick could put your eye out. No labia minora, fyi.

Tom "Howard the Duck" Monroe - Total freakin' con man, this one. He used to dig through the trash cans outside K-Mart for receipts. When he found one, he'd go inside, pick up the biggest ticket item listed on the receipt from off the shelves, walk around for a little while, and then bring it to customer service for a full cash "refund." Uh, exsqueeze me? Yeah, you heard right.