Progressive Boink

[Kyle]

can only travel on predetermined routes to eb games and disney world, but not to the bank or museums or colleges to eventually take his son to

[Kyle]

bumper sticker reading "My boss and I got to discussing the Toyota Tacoma and other gaming systems (he's a Dodge Ram fanatic) and how Toyota saved money by focusing on driving as opposed to visuals/sound.

Oh, but how muc they saved indeed. They're charging 12,499.99, so you take out 50 for the steering wheel (which is probably a little high) and you have 12,300 for the system. take out another 35 for the glove compartment, and that's 12,265.00.

We did some research on the parts that go into making the Tacoma, and I gotta tell you, the sum of its parts isn't not equal to 12,265.00 by any means.

The windshield wipers are less than 20 bucks. And not to put too fine a point on it, it has a 12 dollar antenna and an 8 dollar hubcap. I know how outlandish that sounds, but we found the same sku's for what's under the Tacoma's hood for 20 bucks. So short of the casing costs, a Tacoma costs about 40-60 bucks to make, and they're charging 12,265. GLAZED OVER IN DEATH TWEET BLOOT


It's no wonder Toyota never has to wait for production costs to drop to start earning a profit "

[Justin]

drives it to the mall with his son for his weekly foodcoourt PSP online gaming club meeting (sorry fellas... the wife was nagging on/bitching at me to spend time with him...). on the way his son asks a question about cloud formations. yells "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CLOUDS! NOT SANTA! NOT JESUS! NOT THE EASTER BUNNY! NOT THE WATER CYCLE! ME! MIKE "LORD 7TH (http://www.the7thlevel.com - the other dark meat)" CAPLEY!"

[Matt W]

Will self-eject from parking lots of multiplexes not screening David Spade comedies, Uwe Boll movies, or light-hearted romantic comedies with numerous misunderstandings.

[Kyle]

turrets for shooting drunk illegal immigrants

[Kyle]

owner's manual demands that it should look like a monster truck in photographs; is actually 3 feet tall with a sagging undercarriage

[Matt W]

"But it's ok, that's my wife's part."

[Andy]

computer with internet and detailed files of all soda products available on the planet earth comes standard.

[Matt W]

(Fuck it Mugsy beat me to it but i'm putting it anyway)
runs on mountain frost

[Justin]

drivers seat swivels 360 degrees so backing up is never a problem

[Kyle]

enters ramming mode when called "truck 'son of a pig (el camino)' truckley"

[Justin]

plenty of room in the back for him and his wife to perform oral sex on one another while li'l tristan entertains himself in the front seat with a pokemon activity book

[Kyle]

you forget that there are no books allowed in this truck

[Kirbyoto]

is large enough to ignore effectively anything that comes its way, crushing them like ants before an elephant

is also immune to any sort of attack

[Kyle]

owner's manual plagiarized from wikipedia, but slightly reworded to appear as though its content comes from the company's vast knowledge bank

[Kirbyoto]

bumper sticker of the :razz: emoticon

[Justin]

headlights fashioned after a pair of eyes, glazed over in death.

[Kyle]

takes turns really melodramatically

[Jon]

aftermarket "check engine" light now instead reads "check engine (not sarcasm)"

[Justin]

bought three trucks almost identical to it... too busy working to sign the leases though heh...