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Postby Justin on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:04 pm

re: john tucker must die.

do you feel as if the film's title is warranted, or that john tucker is merely a victim of circumstance; one of america's great misunderstood protagonists if you will.
Snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers.
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Postby Kyle on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:05 pm

WILL YOU SHUT THAT KID UP, GODDAMMIT?! I COME HOME FROM A 16-HOUR DAY AT THE OFFICE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV AND DRINK A GRAPE NEHI AND LOSE MYSELF IN AMERICAN DREAMZ

BUT NO

YOU JUST CAN'T LET ME HAVE THAT ONE SIMPLE PLEASURE, CAN YOU?!
HITLER! HITLER IS JOHN KERRY, RONALD MCDONALD, MICKEY MOUSE. AMERICA IS HITLER. STOP BEING CONTROLLED BY BUSH'S LIES, BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU HITLER TOO! HITLER IS EVERYWHERE—WATCH OUT FOR HITLER! HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON'T TASE ME, BRO!

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Postby Kyle on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:08 pm

heh, i'm what you might call a "film buff."

yes, i do own both home on the range and barnyard, and if you will indulge me, i shall explain their separate but equally valid merits
HITLER! HITLER IS JOHN KERRY, RONALD MCDONALD, MICKEY MOUSE. AMERICA IS HITLER. STOP BEING CONTROLLED BY BUSH'S LIES, BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU HITLER TOO! HITLER IS EVERYWHERE—WATCH OUT FOR HITLER! HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON'T TASE ME, BRO!

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Postby Justin on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:10 pm

which moment of employee of the month do you feel best represents dane cook's exemplary range as an actor

[ ] that one part where he flails about wildly
[ ] that one part where he stretches out the pronunciation of a word before repeating it six or seven more times for maximum comedic effect
[ ] that one part where he makes a slight alteration to an already existent word and repeats it a bunch of times until we get how clever he is.
[ ] that one part where he shrieks and giggles into the camera, making sure we all get a look at his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and immaculately clean teeth.
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Postby Matt W on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:11 pm

Did you go into the store to buy Bloodrayne by yourself, or did you pay a homeless guy to do it so they wouldn't see you.

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Postby emily on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:11 pm

Kyle wrote:mind hunters my super ex-girlfriend the lake house the guardian the country bears 50 first dates just my luck

i guess they don't carry the criterion collection at walgreens, huh



In fairness, The Country Bears is sheer genius.
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Postby Kyle on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:12 pm

oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez i just cannot decide between just like heaven and just friends, this is truly a conundrum for the ages ah heck what am i going to



wait a second

what am i saying

i'm 7th

i worked 400 hours this week. heh. yeah. pretty sure i can afford to get both. yeah. put it on visa. gold card.
HITLER! HITLER IS JOHN KERRY, RONALD MCDONALD, MICKEY MOUSE. AMERICA IS HITLER. STOP BEING CONTROLLED BY BUSH'S LIES, BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU HITLER TOO! HITLER IS EVERYWHERE—WATCH OUT FOR HITLER! HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON'T TASE ME, BRO!

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Postby Kyle on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:15 pm

"find me guilty? i find you guilty! of being a great movie!" *chuckles*
HITLER! HITLER IS JOHN KERRY, RONALD MCDONALD, MICKEY MOUSE. AMERICA IS HITLER. STOP BEING CONTROLLED BY BUSH'S LIES, BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU HITLER TOO! HITLER IS EVERYWHERE—WATCH OUT FOR HITLER! HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON'T TASE ME, BRO!

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Postby Kyle on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:15 pm

ok i gotta go, but keep em lollin while i'm gone, matt w
HITLER! HITLER IS JOHN KERRY, RONALD MCDONALD, MICKEY MOUSE. AMERICA IS HITLER. STOP BEING CONTROLLED BY BUSH'S LIES, BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU HITLER TOO! HITLER IS EVERYWHERE—WATCH OUT FOR HITLER! HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON'T TASE ME, BRO!

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Postby Justin on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:16 pm

in your opinion does cheaper by the dozen 2 manage to maintain the quirky wit and subtle nuance that made the original such an indie darling, or is this another blatant example of hollywood completely missing the point and alienating the audience to whom the series indebted its good fortune in the first place?
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Postby Kirbyoto on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:17 pm

i saw you me and dupree in theaters when i was forced to choose between that and seeing some goddamn eddie murphy movie during a summer camp thing

seeing no movie was not a choice

that is the only conceivable reason i can see for viewing that movie and here you have purchased it
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Postby Matt W on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:19 pm

Were you, yourself, fully loaded when you purchased Herbie: Fully Loaded?

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Postby Bismark on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:20 pm

My God, you're like the Harriet Tubman for terrible Disney sequels. And every other terrible sequel. Stores will usually provide carriages and baskets and such so shopping with an 80' fishing net isn't necessary.
webber wrote:urgh god dont back down we were so close to sweet drama

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Postby Matt W on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:21 pm

Do you have Norbit on pre-order, or are you just gonna live dangerously?

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Postby Justin on Fri Mar 30, 2025 3:25 pm

ahahahaha okay nobody is topping that. i'm splitting this topic and locking it.
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