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[Alan]

Due to some unforeseen circumstances as well as a few poor choices on my behalf, I have filed for bankruptcy at age of 22.

Granted it's a good thing to learn a hard lesson about money early on in life, it is still very hard to deal with. I've had to change a lot of shit around with my finances and will have terrible credit for the next 6 years.

Next year my dad retires and I'll have to move out anyway, so I'm probably moving into my mom's old place (her and her boyfriend just bought a new house and I'll be renting from her) with my brother. I'll probably also take a second job in the summer doing construction (money + outside + physical activity = hopefully a richer and healthier Alan).

I just got the last of the big things straightened out today, and now I just have to hope I didn't miss something and therefore get screwed over in one way or another.

[erica]

I kinda already posted this in the girly thread, but one of my best friends has ovarian cancer. She's had it for months and didn't tell me or anyone else about it , and then a night or two ago she told me in a drunken text message that she wants me to get her weed because she has cancer. And she's getting (another) surgery this week. It was a lot to take in, even though I did know about it before (mutual friend told me), but it didn't really hit me until she told me herself. It's awful because she's really stubborn and won't let anyone help her. This is her last semester of college and she's sucking in all her classes because she's sick and her medicine doesn't help, she works full time, and she won't even tell her professors or boss the reason she's so behind. They think she's just flaking and they're all pissed off at her. Her family doesn't even know.

I have no idea what to do because she doesn't want to talk, so I'm giving her some space and making sure she knows I'm here for her and everything. I also got her a couple books to read while she recovers from her surgery. We're fucking 21 years old and aren't supposed to have these problems.

[A Link to the Matt]

Due to some unforeseen circumstances as well as a few poor choices on my behalf, I have filed for bankruptcy at age of 22.

Granted it's a good thing to learn a hard lesson about money early on in life, it is still very hard to deal with. I've had to change a lot of shit around with my finances and will have terrible credit for the next 6 years.

Next year my dad retires and I'll have to move out anyway, so I'm probably moving into my mom's old place (her and her boyfriend just bought a new house and I'll be renting from her) with my brother. I'll probably also take a second job in the summer doing construction (money + outside + physical activity = hopefully a richer and healthier Alan).

I just got the last of the big things straightened out today, and now I just have to hope I didn't miss something and therefore get screwed over in one way or another.

I'm sure you didnt rush into this decision Alan, but this is a very bad thing and I feel for you. i made a lot of huge mistakes leading up to my 22nd birthday, and racked up about 35K in credit card debt. I considered bankruptcy myself but was quickly talked out of it by family and friends alike, as I was told how terribly it could screw me up in the future. I'll be wishing you luck from here on out. I know a few friends who took this path, and they are in hard times now, but if it all works out in the long run then more power to you.

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

whats the alternative (ie what did you do just be broke for a while)

[Dollo]

I had a buddy who declared bankruptcy at the age of 19 - and he couldn't even get a phone in his name until he was like 27. It's a tough road to go down, and there's gonna be some bullshit that goes along with it.

Was there really no other choice available though? Was debt consolidation a non-option? Do you mind me asking how much you owed? And what were some of the bad decisions that you made? I'm just kinda curious is all....

[Alan]

I was unable to pay my credit card debts, and therefore the interest was building up and therefore I would be broke and also the creditors would most likely start calling and possibly take legal action.

For someone in my position, the options were basically 2. Bankruptcy or Credit Counseling.

Credit Counseling is from a seperate company who would pay off my debts and I would then owe them the entirety of the debt + 5%, and I'd need to pay it off in equal monthly payments over 4 years. My credit rating would be at 7 for the duration of the counseling as well as 2 years afterwards.

Bankruptcy involves being free of debt but being 'bankrupt' for a period of 9 months. During the 9 months I need to do monthly income/expense reports, attend 2 mandatory counseling sessions, and assign any non exempt assets (for me my computer is the only non exempt asset). Also if I had a certain amount of yearly income I'd need to pay them a certain amount of surplus (luckily I'm under that amount so all my wages are mine). I also need to pay 125 dollar initial fee and 135 every month during bankruptcy. After the 9 months, as long as there are no objections by creditors or the trustee, I am discharged from bankruptcy, and go back to life as normal (for the most part). My credit rating would be at 9 for 6 years after discharge.

So either way, I'd have bad credit for 6 years (unless I would be able to pay off my debts before the 4 years are up, but I'd still be at 7 for 2 years after that). The bankruptcy will not only free the debt from me, but give me financial counseling and learning where my money is going (due to the income/expense reports).

I'm not sure how it works in the US, but I imagine it's quite different than Canada. My aunt and one of my uncles have both gone through the bankruptcy process during their lives and they said it's one of the best decisions they had ever made. They are both doing very well for themselves right now.

[Alan]

I had a buddy who declared bankruptcy at the age of 19 - and he couldn't even get a phone in his name until he was like 27. It's a tough road to go down, and there's gonna be some bullshit that goes along with it.

Was there really no other choice available though? Was debt consolidation a non-option? Do you mind me asking how much you owed? And what were some of the bad decisions that you made? I'm just kinda curious is all....

With my income debt consolidation was not approved (this was the first option I tried). I met with the bankruptcy technician and she was very helpful and laid out any options I had, which were in the end one of the 2 (above).

I owed a total of 12,500 approx.

Bad decisions were basically thinking 'I'll be making a lot of money soon so I can pay these off easily' each time I lost a job and was therefore paying expenses with credit alone.

The job I had in September shut down the store with no notice whatsoever, I didn't get a new job until a month later.

That job screwed me over because I was in school and could only work so many hours, I had a cold one day and called in sick, the manager completely forgot about my phone call and thought I just didn't show up. I talked to her about it and basically had to verbatim repeat our phone conversation (it was her I talked to) before she remembered it even took place. I told her I still needed to work there and she said she'd discuss it and give me a call. She never called.

So I worked at Future Shop again, because I worked with the manager there for 5 or so years in other jobs and this one. I was hired as seasonal (this is late November now) but she said it was just 'a technicality' and that I'd be kept on after Christmas. January 2nd comes around and she tells me Seasonal staff are let go that day (even though I had the rest of the week scheduled) and she said she'd call me if they decide to keep me on. So I wait 2 weeks and there is no call, so I talk to the manager of the department I was in, and I guess he was told that I was just done, there was no discussion on whether or not they'd keep me on, so I waited for her phone call for nothing.

So I finally get a new job just a few weeks ago. By now my debt has gone from 4000 (September) to 12500. I am a full time student as well, so I can't work full time so at most I get 800 a month (but right now it's about half that).

My parents have just finished finalizing their divorce, and both are not as well off as they used to be, so any help from them is not really possible. My mother says she will help make payments in the 9 months if I need it.

[Rusty Cooledge v2]

wow someone needs to deliver a giant fuck you to some of your former employers.

I hope things work out for the best, bro.

[Dollo]

That's pretty shitty dude; I feel for you.

But credit card debt you say, huh? Not shocking, but you're not alone.

I'm still pretty stunned by how much credit they really even give a person who a) doesn't work full time and b) has no real credit history. Did you just buy the typical stuff (electronics, clothes, etc) and that's what caused the sinkhole?

[Alan]

More or less, the original debt went up 2 years ago when I was living alone and my roommate bailed on me, so I was stuck to pay rent/utilities/food/etc on my own for 5 or 6 months until the lease was up. Not to mention my landlord was an asshole and made me hate the human race for a long time (I think I discussed him here way back when). Anyway, thats what made me move back with my dad so I could get things paid off, and I got a lot of debt paid off (at least 3000 dollars worth) before all this other shit happened to put it back up there.

But yeah, the reason I blame myself partly is because I spent more money than I should have while unemployed, but I had grown so accustomed to that lifestyle that I didn't think about it until it was too late.

Thanks for the supportive words everyone. It helps a lot.

[A Link to the Matt]

alan, sounds like you and I were in the same boat. sorry man, that really blows.

As for whoever asked the question earlier "Whats the alternative, just be broke for a while?" yeah essentially, and thats what i did. I was in deep, I was in school, I pulled back on EVERYTHING (hello top Ramen, I ate it 3 meals a day for 8 months) Rode my bike to as much as I possibly could, and took up three part time jobs. I also was able to live rent free at a buddies house. It sucked, I was poor. I paid back as much as I could and made settlements with some of the CC companies, took off about 30% of my amount due and got on a pay schedule with them. The companies were eager to do this, becasue if they sell to a collection agency, they normally onl make 15 cents on the dollar, so dropping 30% off my balance due is actually better in the long run for them.

But yeah, being poor was terrible, and I have taken steps in order to make sure it never happens again. Just as Im sure you will. Good luck man. It will be a tough couple years, but im sure you will pull through it just fine.

[Borkelmans]

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, Erica. I'm in a similar situation with my friend, where I just feel like talking about things with them will only make it worse, and ignoring their cancer doesn't feel quite right either. I wish I had some profound advice to give you, but the only thing I can think of is to try and plan a few days out with them, maybe at the movies or in the woods or something. We went down to the river and skipped stones a week ago, and we came home pretty serene after that. Again, best wishes

[webber]

alan does this mean you have no more video games

[Alan]

No, minor things like dvds, video games, etc are exempt up to 5000 dollars or so. Really the only thing non exempt was my computer, but its about 4 years old now so they estimated it would only be about 100 dollars, so essentially I just 'buy back' the computer at that price from the trustee (They don't actually take it from me, I just have to pay that amount before I am discharged). Also, they do my taxes for 2007 and 2008 and any refunds I get go straight to them towards paying off that 100 and the 165/mo fee. So considering I made little to nothing in income last year, I should be getting a big return this tax time (prob. 800 or so) so that takes care of a lot of my balance right off the bat.

[Andy]

Alan, my parents went through divorce years back and they are doing fine now. There's a lot of work involved in fixing things up again, but if you keep yourself tenacious I'm sure things will work out perfectly fine.

Erica, I'm sorry, that's a tough situation. I think I would just hang out with my friends as much as possible, and leave it up to them if they want to talk about it or just enjoy shooting the shit as usual. In other words I think you're approach to it is the best one.

Good luck to you both though.

[Justin]

which friend is it erica?

[erica]

Jenna. I don't think you've ever met her, but we've been buds since middle school and lived together last year. But yeah, I'm just trying to be positive and all of that.

Best wishes back to you and your friend, Borkelmans.

[Dollo]

Erica, I lost my very best friend in the whole wide world to Cancer almost two years ago. I loved the guy as if he was kin to me. We grew up together (from the time we were babies), lived next door to each other for our childhood, remained friends throughout our teens, went to the same University, held the same part time jobs, traveled together, etc. Even now, 2 years later, I'll cry because I miss the guy so much. So believe me when I tell you, "I know what you're going through".

During his time with the disease (albeit brief - 9 months), the thing he told us he enjoyed most was just our company. We'd talk about it if he felt like talking about it, and if not, and he just wanted to sit around and bullshit and break balls - we'd do that. All in all, he just wanted to hang out and try and feel as normal as possible.

I've learned that there's no real words of comfort you can provide to someone in that situation. They've heard "its gonna be alright, you're a strong person" about a thousand times from everyone, and at the end of the day, dealing with your own mortality, I mean really dealing with it, is kinda a dark place to be and as well intentioned as your words can be, nothing changes that.

Just be there for her, hang out, and take things as they come. If she wants to discuss things, she will. But all in all, I think the best the thing you can do with her is just, well, be.

All the best.