2/7 We updated!

[Justin]

Welcome to week 122 here at Progressive Boink! We hope you guys like the articles we've written and request that any feedback be left in this thread.

Well, none of us wrote an article, really. Jon updated Jumping & Standing, Mike did some Pictochat comics and I typed the word "fuck" a record-breaking 2049 times in a row!

Oh, and congratulations to the 2006 Super Bowl champion Dennis Haysburt. He's the black guy from 24.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[More Like]

Jumping and Standing made me el oh el so much.
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[endlessmike]

i tried to explain the jumping and standing forum to my friend, and she was like, it sounds horrible...and i was like "no, it's wonderful!". subterranean sewer hockey probably sounded no good at first, either. in that spirit, i must say all around, this update was totally tubular... 4/4 ninja turtles and a radical rat to boot.

[pholby]

I've found that people's appreciation of Jumping and Standing is proportional to how much internet forum experiance they have. That seems kind of obvious now that I've typed it out. Oh well.

I really enjoyed this edition of the Jumping and Standing Forum, due to Murray really stepping it up. In previous editions Will had been the star, with such non-sequiturs as "campin trips is a worthless endeavour w/o a whittling knife" and impromptu poetry as "i built a sturdy ship / i sailt out to sea / and when i thought mine anguish gone / i found it followt me". It was Will who had the last post in most topics, acting as a group steward. But now Murray is holding threads together, holding posts until the bottom of the order, turning an argument between Craig and Pam into a worthwile thread. Will may still be the cleanup hitter, but Murray is the man the crowds come to see, with his tales of love, loss, and the library card bill.

GATHER ROUND THE GOOD STUFF INDEED
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"

"Woah woah woah."

[Rogue]

Good stuff; it serves as personal inspiration for my quest to set a world's record for longest eyelashes ever. Thy grew 3/64 of an inch last night.

And J&S was fun, though I gotta ask: what's with Michelle? Did I miss something with her, or are we not supposed to know why she's such a forum leper?

I hope they release the Puppy Bowl on DVD. I missed it and it sounds quite AWWWWWWWsome.

And I'm spent.

[Bill]

[Rogue]

Puppy Bowl II is much more expensive than #1. Probably cuz it's new, or maybe it's more than twice as adorable? I might get one of these for Mother's Day or something, actually. I can't imagine she'd hate it.

[Lindy]

Puppy Bowl II includes the all kitten half-time show!
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shrieking raccoon on a jetpack

[Greg]

OH I HAVE DISCOVERED THE NEW SECRET OF THE STANDING AND JUMPING
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[SundownMotel]

I agree with everything Pholby said, as evidenced by my new signature. It was a close call between that and "I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES"

Justin's article was really hilarious. I, too, used to work at a video store (two, actually) and had that sort of schedule. Now I'm in a soul-crushing temp job from 8-5 every day and I can't stay up past midnight or wake up later than seven and I'm always tired and never have time to do anything and oh god when will it end

Pictochat was awesome as well. Thanks, Mike. Your posts always give me the warm and fuzzies. You won't maul me now, right?
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Jim]

Holy shit, this was a good update.

Pictochat was absolutely wonderful. When Ogre showed up, I didn't put the pieces together. And then the picture of Roethlisberger... well, it was awesome.

Jumping and Standing was excellent as usual. will always kills me, and yes, Murray was even better than usual.

Finally, we come to Justin. This is my favorite Justin solo piece to date. That said, Justin is also quite the solo piece, if you catch my drift.
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[mreow]

The Jumping and Standing Forum is so wonderful. I always enjoy it. Will is the best
And Justin's article is quite reminescent of any sort of wild ramblings of someone who needs to sleep a little more. I love the long abrasive sentences.

[Neil]

Good job with the update. Justin, your work is as usual: damn funny, and over too soon.
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait im sorry i made almost 2 million dollars last year to throw 20 fastballs every three or four days haha sorry jackalope capitalism rules

[Greg]

GUYS THERE'S A SECRET WITH THE STANDING AND JUMPING UPDATE
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[SundownMotel]

Quiet down there, Gregory, or I shall ask to have you removed.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Bismark]

What's the secret, Gregory?

Ha, that sounds like one of those old-timey euphamisms, like "Hey, Joe, whaddya know?" I'm going to start using that. Until it becomes abundently clear how gay it sounds, anyway.
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[Mike]

[Tiffany]

I don't know if "real actual" gets updated with the rest of the homepage, but the newest ones are hilarious as usual.

Poison ivy vs genital herpes
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Boiskov: He cries when he gets on an elevator and the button for his destination floor has already been pushed, because he would have liked to have been the one to push the button.

[Mike]

I update the search engine strings every week with the rest of the page. It's one of my favorite parts about updating, because usually I search for funny strings at work, & I usually end up cracking up at the ones that end up on the page.
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[Jon]

I'm glad you guys liked this week's Jumping and Standing update. Will has kind of been the star since the beginning, but lately I've found Murray to be more interesting than anyone else. It's just fun to imagine what kinds of situations I can paint for a middle-aged black man of very simple means, a grandson presumably shoved off on him by his offspring, and a horrible credit rating.