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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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 Posted:
Mon Jan 02, 2026 6:16 pm
Post subject: Raw's my Mama! for 1/02/06 |
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http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/preview/
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A McMahon-made RAW
January 2, 2026
With Mr. McMahon still interviewing for the next General Manager of RAW, he took it upon himself to make a huge match based on last week's events.
Last week on RAW, John Cena defeated Shelton Benjamin but was then unceremoniously attacked by Kurt Angle and Daivari. Seeing the brawl, Mr. McMahon ordered a match for this Monday between Angle and Cena. But it won't just be a typical match ? it'll be a First Blood Match, which ensures that by its very nature things will get out of hand. Who will leave RAW wearing the crimson mask, and who will walk away victorious? Watch RAW (9/8 CT; USA) to find out.
Also, after his latest devastating loss, Shelton Benjamin received a call on his cell phone. Whoever was on the other end of the line will be coming to see Shelton at this week's RAW. Who will it be, and can that person help Shelton get off the losing track?
And Shawn Michaels looked seriously concerned as RAW went off the air last week. He had just received a threat from Mr. McMahon, who took exception to HBK's comments regarding the infamous "Montreal Incident" of 1997. What will HBK have to say this week, and is Mr. McMahon finished with Michaels? Tune in to RAW to find out. |
There are rumors of Hass coming back, so I guess the whole "Shelton's Mana" thing could be a swerve, but oh wait this is Vince McMahon's oppertunity to cash in on the hip new trend sweeping America - black people and their overbearing mothers.
It's getting to the point where they've cleaned up most of the wreckage and now there's nothing to do but amble around the tracks with everyone else, relaying stories about how you heard/saw it and pretending like it's cold outside just to have something to do.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 7:33 pm
Post subject: |
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I just know they're going to be so happy together.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Rusty Cooledge
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 432
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 8:05 pm
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Cena has that cartoonish quality that Hulk does in that when you see them stand next to real people you realize they exist and have a funny face.
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 8:59 pm
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That's right, King. Vince and Shawn were about to get it on.
People need to stop doing that stupid "we're not worthy" thing when Vince comes out and WWE needs to stop showing it, because it's getting REALLY hard to keep up with Vince's heel/face turns.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:03 pm
Post subject: |
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Apparently I'm alone tonight, so I think I'm going to give some wrestlers their own avatar.
And hey, HBK versus
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:05 pm
Post subject: |
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The true sign that we have not moved on since 1998 is the fact that authority figures are whipping out Kane to do their bidding. Kane lost like 25 matches in a row to Edge. He's ugly and big. He's not exactly striking fear into the heart of anyone who has watched wrestling.
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:08 pm
Post subject: |
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Lectric Shave? So are they letting Cincinattus the lovable houseboy name consumer products now?
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:12 pm
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If Shawn needs pointers about coping with being saddled with a limited moveset I'm pretty sure there are more than a few members of the Smackdown locker room who'd talk with him.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:13 pm
Post subject: |
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| Justin wrote: |
| Lectric Shave? So are they letting Cincinattus the lovable houseboy name consumer products now? |
It's LECTRIC!
boogie woogie woogie
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:29 pm
Post subject: |
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I see no possible way for this angle to work against Gregory Helms.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:34 pm
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At least Jim Ross isn't around to break a candy jar over his head. I still think Tazz running away holding his face and going "AAAH MY EYE MY EYEEEE" is the pussiest thing I've ever seen in wrestling. And I've seen Francine's pussy during wrestling.
The Elimination Chamber video reminds me of the old THUNDERDOME videos they played to hype Halloween Havoc. AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" still makes me nostalgic for being nine years old.
I want ONE of these guys to become an infinite hero by breaking character and going: "Mr. McMahon, fuck you. I'm going to TNA." And then just walk out.
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SundownMotel
horrifically mind numbing
Joined: 09 Nov 2025
Posts: 1109
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:38 pm
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How many more weeks until we get a god damn general manager?
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.
| GataGoomba wrote: |
| Feast upon my precious torso coin |
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knastymike
CUP OF WATER
Joined: 20 Dec 2025
Posts: 8
Location: Austin, TX
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:56 pm
Post subject: |
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| As many as it takes to drive the angle into the ground? |
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SundownMotel
horrifically mind numbing
Joined: 09 Nov 2025
Posts: 1109
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:56 pm
Post subject: |
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Okay, "argyle socks" was pretty damned funny.
_________________
And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.
| GataGoomba wrote: |
| Feast upon my precious torso coin |
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Rogue
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 25 Nov 2025
Posts: 145
Location: Location, Location
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 9:59 pm
Post subject: |
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The Notorious Pink Gang strikes again! Though since their opposition was enamored with something like the Kissy Cam, I'm all for their invasions. Lose the pink doggy sweater though.
And speaking of pink, is it just me, or was Edge's flair robe better-looking than most of Ric's recent ones? I swear Ric has gone colorblind these past two years. |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 10:02 pm
Post subject: |
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| SundownMotel wrote: |
| argyle |
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McFly
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 407
Location: Michigan
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 02, 2026 10:23 pm
Post subject: |
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Well, that wasn't the clip I expected
Edit: Shelton's mama is going to be terrible. Poor Shelton
Last edited by McFly on Mon Jan 02, 2026 10:37 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Jordo
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 05 Oct 2025
Posts: 154
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Mon Jan 02, 2026 10:35 pm
Post subject: |
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| After tonight, I've lost complete faith in Shelton getting a push. They just called him "the best pure athlete in WWE," which is the equivilant of someone writing "Have a nice summer!" in your yearbook. |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 02, 2026 10:39 pm
Post subject: |
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SHETTON BENJAMUM! YOU BESS GET YO HEAD STRAIGHT, BOY!
yes mayyum
That was the best segment I've seen in ages.
_________________
[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Jordo
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 05 Oct 2025
Posts: 154
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| Posted:
Tue Jan 03, 2026 12:45 am
Post subject: |
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| Next week, Vince will cure cancer, but then give us all AIDS. |
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