When good artists go bad

[Justin]

Even great bands write really shitty songs sometimes. Let's discuss our least favorite songs by our favorite artists. And not just songs you'll skip because they're album filler or whatever. I'm talking about songs that literally drive you mad when trying to figure out how such a great band could write something so horrid.

I'll get things started.

Trucker's Atlas by Modest Mouse.

Trucker's Atlas by Modest Mouse the band is the most needlessly long song in recorded history. I say this with absolutely zero hyporbole attached, too.

For the past two days I've awoke to Trucker's Atlas by Modest Mouse. The logistics of this astound me because I keep media player on shuffle as I sleep, and I've got a music library of over 2,000 songs. The first third of the song isn't so much of an issue, as it has vocals and actually makes sense in that "dirty blues if this were anyone else I'd think it were fucking retarded" context most earlier Modest Mouse songs fit into, but then the last SEVEN minutes kick in and I'll be laying in bed listening to that fucking guitar hook loop over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. The fact that I've been too tired/confused in that early morning stupor from being woken up before I would've liked so I'm in no mind to get up and deal with the harsh winter climate in order to change the song doesn't help either, so I just lie there getting madder and madder each time that fucking guitar hook repeats itself at the end.

It bears stressing that I love Modest Mouse to death. They're one of my favorite bands, but every time I hear this song I'm overcome by an unbridled urge to drive to Issaquah and punch Isaac Brock directly in the jaw for having the gumption to think this song would be a good idea in any capacity from here untill the end of time.
_________________
[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Tiffany]

I really like Unwritten Law but whenever they try to do the screamoheavymetalguitarrr it sounds pretty horrible.

I could halfway say the same thing about Everclear. I'm not into most of their music, but I like their hit singles. Someone's going to punch a jellyfish into my ear but I'm not a fan of Coldplay anymore. All their songs sound similar.
_________________
Boiskov: He cries when he gets on an elevator and the button for his destination floor has already been pushed, because he would have liked to have been the one to push the button.

[Frank Stallone]

Saves the Day - Handsome Boy

I just never liked this song. Something about it just...isn't good. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just don't like it.

The Shins - Those to Come

Boooooooooooring.
_________________
I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES

GATHER ROUND THE GOOD STUFF INDEED

[Nick]

Green Day - "Disappearing Boy"

It's just one of the stupidest songs I've ever heard. It's also the only Green Day song I skip.

The Beatles - "Across the Universe"

Not many songs by John Lennon that I don't adore (well, at least with The Beatles), but this song is just crappy. Very whiney.
_________________

[Poseph]

[Kyle]

I think I've only ever listened to Lonesome Crowded West in the car (though I've done so a lot; I think it was in my CD player for a solid two months earlier this summer), and for some reason, I never ever noticed that Trucker's Atlas is eleven minutes long, 7+ of which are the same fucking hook. Now I don't think I'll be able to listen to it again.

Anyway, "Mamacita," by Outkast. It's kind of weak as a song anyway, but I can't fucking stand the way they say "Mamacitaaaa. Papadannaa (if you've never heard the song, this is said rather like a drawn-out "simma dahn nah" from SNL)." I have to skip the song every time I listen to Aquemini.

Anything by the Beatles that has that corny Paul McCartney feel to it, usually in the form of sounding like carnival music or being all "bluesy." Always skip over those kinds of songs.

And then a couple that only kind of fit the theme:

Wilco, "Spiders." I actually quite like the song, but there is no reason for it to be eleven minutes long. Obviously, same goes for the twelve fucking minutes of muffled machine noise at the end of "Less Than You Think," which I seem to recall only having the most tenuous justification (Jeff Tweedy saying something about making the listening experience more interactive or some such thing by essentially forcing the listener to get up and hit fast forward) but that's something I just skip over without even bothering to get bored or irritated with it, which is the case with "Spiders."

Ryan Adams, "To Be Young (Is To Be Sad, Is To Be High)." As with "Spiders," I do like the song, but the "one, two, one WHOOO" and twangy guitar thing at the beginning drive me crazy. My roommate, who is a bigger Ryan Adams fan, made the same comment to me a couple weeks ago, when I was listening to Heartbreaker a lot and the occasional one two one whoo was slowly giving him some kind of neurotic breakdown.
_________________
WHEN THE AFRICAN LION ATTACKS

[Rusty Cooledge]

I ALWAYS skip fucking "The Red Dress" by Motion City Soundtrack.

Any of their songs could be a candidate for my favorite song by them. Except THAT ONE. It lacks... I dunno, like, everything I like about MCS. It almost seems like they put no effort into it, and I swear it is of lesser quality than the other songs.

"Inhuman Creation Station" by CKY pisses me off everytime I hear it too and is the only CKY song I don't like. I can't even stand Deron's voice during the verses.

As for The Offspring, well, I don't even know what the fuck happened to them. They went from my favorite band to, well, I KNOW YOU WANNA HIT THAT ORIGINAL PRANKSTER etc.
_________________

[Daniel]

[Poseph]

I stand 100% corrected.
_________________
There is love inside my heart to show you i'm not numb.

[Daniel]

But do you seriously not like his solo album?
_________________
them's jokes, boy

[pholby]

[Arcade Fire]

The Dave Matthews Band are really hit and miss with me.
_________________
She once fell through the street.

[SundownMotel]

Although Justin would say that "Open Your Eyes" is where Goldfinger jumped the shark, there are still a good six to eight songs off that album that I can't live without. "Disconnection Notice" however, is utter shit. Really sad considering they used to be one of my favorite bands.
_________________
And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Justin]

My theory is that Feldman got sick of producing albums for upstart bands who'd go on to see more fame and glory than his has and tried grabbing a slice of the pie by being about as bland and formulaic as humanly possible.

The best song from Open Your Eyes was released two years earlier on a limited EP. I'll still trash the album, but Radio is a great song.
_________________
[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Frank Stallone]

I always felt bad for Feldman because, try as he might, no one cares about Goldfinger. The music he makes is no different than most of the other stuff that sells big, but for whatever reason, they just never got popular. Maybe they're not pretty enough.
_________________
I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES

GATHER ROUND THE GOOD STUFF INDEED

[Justin]

The music they made used to be good though, and they did attain at least a moderate amount of success. Their records have always sold well and whenever they tour they draw a crowd (In the Boston/Providence area anyway). The material they're putting out now is garbage and I'm glad it isn't making them ultra-famous, because at this point they honestly don't deserve it.
_________________
[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Frank Stallone]

He caught a lot of shit from those kids in Story of the Year. They blamed him for making their last album "too poppy" (because, apparently, they're wicked hardXcore). But what they failed to mention were the millions of dollars they earned from it.
_________________
I GOT IRATE AND FETCHED MY MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "WORLDS INCORRECT GRANDMOM" ON ALL HER SUNDAY DRESSES

GATHER ROUND THE GOOD STUFF INDEED

[William]

I heart New Order, but Run Wild sucks. I appreciate them trying to do something a bit different, but the vocals...ugh.
_________________
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

[Rogue]

Tom Petty's one of my all-time favorites, but I skip over Here Comes My Girl every damn time. Such a crap song, though it might've been better if he actually sung the fuckin' verses.

[Rtan]

I consider The Who to be my favorite band, but I just do not like the album Quadrophenia. It's not that the songs are bad, I can actually listen to any one of its songs and enjoy them, but together as an album, I just don't like it. I can't listen to it by itself the way I could listen to Who's Next or Tommy.

Honorable mentions go to "All of My Love" by Zeppelin, "Come Together", by the Beatles, and "Rock N' Roll High School" by The Ramones.
_________________
"PERFECT"