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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1636
Location: Weird NJ
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 Posted:
Wed Mar 29, 2025 1:40 am
Post subject: 3/28 Daylight Savings we updated! |
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Hey guys, you all remembered to set your clocks back an hour this week... right?
Good.
Alright, I'll gladly take the douchebag of the week award for taking the longest after midnight to post this time around. And the fact that there are 80 screen caps in my post doesn't help things much, either. But I got to attack Billy Blanks using what he claims is the most powerful thing in existence, so I guess I'm not at a total loss.
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Molly
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 19 Aug 2025
Posts: 167
Location: Oregano
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 3:18 am
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I have to give a big round of applause for "Showdown". Seriously amusing and very well-done. The movie review, the "Exhibits" (I looked forward to each one and laughed almost every time), and your conversations with Karen seemed to work as a team to make the article awesome. Oh yeah, and can't forget the pictures. I just loved how you pulled it off.
And you have me 100% convinced that Billy is, in fact, the devil.
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| Billy Blanks must have nightmares about STICKS AND STONES then. |
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| She may be ending up with Ben Stiller, but at least Ben Stiller doesn't dress like an overrated abstract painting. |
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| Trouble comes in the form of '50s doo-wop legend Marvin Berry & some other nearby ethnic thugs. |
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dlomyhero
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1274
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 9:43 am
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| Justin wrote: |
| DeLonge then concluded the interview by beating off onto a headshot of Johnny Cash, burning the picture, pissing out the flame, eating the ashes, opening the dictionary, thumbing through the pages for a couple of minutes until he had to stop and ask the interviewer to help him find the word he'd been looking for and vomiting up the horrible body chowder all over the page containing the definition for modesty. |
We have a winner.
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| n88n88 wrote: |
| I always pictured some bowler-hatted Glengarry Glen Ross guy chainsmoking cigarettes next to a pile of crumpled paper as he thinks of something interesting to say about Lance Blankenship. |
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lambeaumacaoidh
CUP OF WATER
Joined: 18 Mar 2025
Posts: 61
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 9:44 am
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Mike is my hero, again.
Justin's was a good show as well.
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endlessmike
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 443
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 2:03 pm
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I very much enjoyed the update of this week.
| Justin wrote: |
| The only people who are going to derive any sort of meaning from "The Adventure," are the sort who laugh at Woody Allen films out of a sense of obligation. "Hahaha. Did you hear that, Mabel? Obsequious banter! Oh that Woody Allen! He's so clever!" |
| Mike wrote: |
| John Cryer with the mumps! |
| Mike wrote: |
Billy Blanks will teach you the improper way to bow.
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Kyle, your article made me a little nauseated. i don't know why... |
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allisonrocks
CUP OF WATER
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 96
Location: a whale's vagina, aka san diego/irvine, CA
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 2:56 pm
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i just realized that the nerd was one of the guys from the weird science tv show.
is it weird that i knew about the show before i knew about the movie?
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mreow
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 325
Location: Reno, NV
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 29, 2025 3:06 pm
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| justin wrote: |
| When the anti-Christ comes barrelling out of her chest I'm going to be sitting on a sandy beach somewhere sipping one of those tropical bullshit drinks served in a coconut with a little wooden umbrella stuck into it for the sake of festivity. |
Justin, your article was good and amusing and full of little delights. I don't know who half of those bands mentioned were but just the pictures of those guys indicates that their forming of a band cannot be a good thing. |
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ctoner
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 258
Location: Chicago, IL
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 6:05 pm
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| I remember reading the Rolling Stone Angels and Airwaves article awhile back and wondering to myself how Tom DeLounge's head swelled to the size it did. He should get back to writing music about jacking off and sodomy. |
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Bismark
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1616
Location: ...blue?
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 6:28 pm
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I wanted more from Kyle's article. There, I said it. Kyle's last two posts have been among the best this site has seen, and I wanted more just like it. This was funny, but there just wasn't enough to it. There was only so much you could say or do about a guy that has made a career about being a cunning linguist. The good news is that you did it all, and very well, but I just found myself wanting something else once I realized it was over. Putting the Gene Simmons interview in it was awesome, though.
This is my favorite Justin post to date. Justin usually does a pretty good job of lining up about $40 in words to explain why he hates something, but putting the focus on bursting the ego of some fuckwhistle pop star made him damn near a force of nature. gg, friend.
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| Quote: |
| I don't even know where to begin as a director to say "okay, now make the firetruck land on these guys." |
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1420
Location: Pfft
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Wed Mar 29, 2025 6:46 pm
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"Here, have one," Spinelli insists. "I got yer favorite."
"Chocolate, eh?"
"Yep, chocolate."
EXHIBIT A: Billy Blanks tolerates "low" to "moderate" acts of racism with a mere curl of the lip & a shake of the head. |
What, black people can't enjoy chocolate foods because they consider it cannibalism? Oh, what'd you get, cracker? Vanilla? Yes, I got vanilla! I enjoy vanilla! Sometimes it's just a flavor, Billy!
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GANESHA GRANT ME YOUR ARMS FOR FLIGHT |
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Randy
randy
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 871
Location: texas
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Thu Mar 30, 2025 12:39 am
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The following emoticon sums up my thoughts on Mike's article.
Fine work sir!
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| Mike wrote: |
| Do you guys remember Donkey Kong the video game? Because THAT'S WHAT IT IS ABOUT TO BE ON LIKE. |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2010
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Fri Mar 31, 2025 12:03 am
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Thanks, friends. I like people who like me!
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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dlomyhero
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1274
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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| Posted:
Fri Mar 31, 2025 8:33 am
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| n88n88 wrote: |
| I always pictured some bowler-hatted Glengarry Glen Ross guy chainsmoking cigarettes next to a pile of crumpled paper as he thinks of something interesting to say about Lance Blankenship. |
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Josh
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 379
Location: Donna, TX
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| Posted:
Fri Mar 31, 2025 12:44 pm
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| I ain't puttin' that shit in my mouth! |
I imagine it's quite nasty which is why I don't understand it. I remember in 7th grade some guy just randomly asked me if I ate pussy and I said no and he told this other guy "THIS GUY DOESN'T EAT PUSSY!"
Oh by the way, I liked your article, Kyle!
I enjoyed Justin's article because it hated on things I hate.
Mike, I had a lot of fun reading your article. When you wrote NINJA APPEAR were you think of TMNT II's "NINJA VANISH"?
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Jon and Justin are smooth criminals and you have been struck by them |
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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1636
Location: Weird NJ
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| Posted:
Fri Mar 31, 2025 7:35 pm
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Not directly. It was more just me thinking that I managed to take a hilarious screen cap.
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