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Adam
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Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1064
Location: et al
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 11:41 am
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I haven't posted in this forum, due mainly to a lack of synonyms for the phrase "good going."
I've only read B's so far, but good fucking going. We had those things at a Penn State basketball game, even though we already have a cheerleading squad, a dance team, a famous mascot, a marching band, house music, and during-timeout entertainment, as well as a half time show. We were blessed with Shaquille O'Seal in addition to Alien Iverson, Mia Hammster, and, eventually, Mackerel Jordan.
Also,
I have uttered this phrase several thousand times in the last week, without having read your article. That's some Jungian shit right there, if you ask me.
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:02 pm
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Alien Iverson? What the hell? An alien is not an animal from a zoo! Unless it's like some kinda Secret Hidden Government Zoo where men in black suits and sunglasses spend their weekends.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN????? |
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B
= Best!!11
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2096
Location: Bristol, VA
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:04 pm
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The ZOOperstar they have for Iverson right now is "Stallion Iverson," which still isn't very good but at least he's an animal. At the zoo where they have horses locked in cages.
Thanks so far to everybody who likes the article. It's my first one back in a while (like I've/we've said) so I wasn't at my most confident getting through it. You guys know how to make a boy feel special.
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Adam
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Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1064
Location: et al
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:12 pm
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Ah, fuck, you're right. It was Stallion Iverson. Alien Iverson was one of the Beanie Baby giveaways they had the year after the 76ers' finals run. They also had Matt Tiger for Matt Geiger and Eric Snowman for Eric Snow. Why those two players were somehow more deserving than Aaron McKie, George Lynch, Tyrone Hill, Dikembe Mutombo, or anyone else on the entire team, is beyond me.
I just got around to reading Jon's article, and I have to say I'm impressed. It takes a lot of restraint to come across something like that and not just mash the keyboard between capitalized paraphrasings of "GAA PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPID." Well done.
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dlomyhero
Associate
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1325
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:20 pm
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What would they call George Lynch? George Lynchpin and make him a clothespin or something? "WATCH GEROGE LYNCHPIN HANG TYRON LUE -- AND THESE BLUE SLACKS -- OUT TO DRY!"
Is a lynchpin even an actual object?
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment. |
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SundownMotel
horrifically mind numbing
Joined: 09 Nov 2025
Posts: 1109
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:22 pm
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george lynch would clearly be a beanie baby in a white hood
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.
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dlomyhero
Associate
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1325
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:30 pm
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I also couldn't help but make Ken Giraffey Jr. my avatar. Why did they have to put the likeness of his face on it? Jesus.
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment. |
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Sami
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 19 Feb 2025
Posts: 228
Location: athens like in greece except in ohio.
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:32 pm
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When I first started Jon's, I felt like I was reading a PowerPoint presentation. But I got past that relatively quickly, got what he was trying to say, and definitely appreciated the story of Stanislav Petrov. It was presented in a very creative and interesting way. Thanks for this.
Oh man, B. You are the only person who can make me read about anything remotely related to sports.
| B wrote: |
RICK B. Yes he does all of those things. CONSTANT BOUNCING FLIPPING SHAQ.
RICK D. Line them up under one condition: They must flat out jam. |
Very nice.
And of course, Justin's, which I had to IM him about before I was even finished reading because I was figuratively shooting milk out of my nose. It makes me happy that there somebody else on the Internet who is not all "PEEPS AWRIGHT!!!1"
And it all looks so purdy, too! Great job, guys.
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Friction. |
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wee bull
CUP OF WATER
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 74
Location: Hull
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 1:41 pm
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Aaaaaahh. The forum moves, but the background doesn't. MY MIND IS BLOWN.
Love the theme, pretty as always. |
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dlomyhero
Associate
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1325
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 2:05 pm
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my background moves, im in the darkest of greens at the bottom of posts!!
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment. |
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Sami
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 19 Feb 2025
Posts: 228
Location: athens like in greece except in ohio.
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 2:53 pm
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Do that hard refresh thing that Mike said, ctrl + F5.
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Friction. |
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dlomyhero
Associate
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1325
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 3:16 pm
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Ze ctrl+F5! Zey do nossing!
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment. |
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Sami
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 19 Feb 2025
Posts: 228
Location: athens like in greece except in ohio.
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 3:28 pm
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FABRICATIONS!
Or, you know, your browser doesn't support fixed backgrounds.
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Friction. |
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pholby
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 690
Location: schmocation
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 4:16 pm
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I'm just excited anytime the brothers Rick show up. Then for them to deliver such quality, gracious I was entertained.
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"
"Woah woah woah." |
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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 9:47 pm
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| Neil wrote: |
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NLHN Random Links:
Warning: MagpieRSS: Failed to fetch http://national02.nationallampoon.com/NL_RSS/index.php?option=com_jambolink&task=syndicate&feed=RSS2.0&type=randomcat (HTTP Response: HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden ) in /home/.lavern/pboi/progressiveboink.com/magpierss/rss_fetch.inc on line 238
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/.lavern/pboi/progressiveboink.com/lampoon.txt on line 11 |
Those are some cool random links! |
National Lampoon is aware of the problem, which appears to be exclusive to our site. I'm going to have to wait & call them in the morning.
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Daniel
ELBOW ELBOY HINT AND HINT
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 744
Location: Diane Chamber's Lap.
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Thu Mar 09, 2025 2:44 am
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I was listening to Pearl Jam cover Kick Out the Jams while reading B's article. Having the jam in, "WE GOT TO KICK OUT THE JAMS" and the jam in "RICK D. Line them up under one condition: They must flat out jam." line up perfectly as I was reading made me laugh ridiculously hard.
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Ragingape
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 08 Sep 2025
Posts: 231
Location: Chicago, IL
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Thu Mar 09, 2025 2:21 pm
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Good week. Feels like spring.
B, funny as always. Some of the funniest parts were by the ZOOperstars! though. First of all, they have two clams.
| Quote: |
| Watch out or he'll swallow you whole! |
Did they think that joke was so priceless they had to use it twice?
Secondly, they have a Tiger Woods mascot named Tiger Woodschuck. Maybe they just take their craft so seriously that they didn't want to take the easy way out but I think they were just trying to hard.
| B wrote: |
| "Sean Puppy Combs." He can give ups to his man Notorious P.U.G. I am extending this joke because oh my god Puggie Smalls! So cute. |
Voted, but I wonder what capacity of even would even make a P.Diddy Mascot relevant.
Justin, I too hate Peeps, and you can add Cadbury eggs. Fun article and the Carlos Mencia appearance at the end capped it off nicely.
| Justin wrote: |
| see a man about a dog. |
I actually say this sometimes, or substitute horse for dog.
Jon, holy hell. That was remarkable. This article and your Model Airplane Webcomic article really got me thinking and show your versatility as a writer. I truly enjoyed it and hope you do not shy away from doing things like this in the future.
Thanks and kudos all around. |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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Thu Mar 09, 2025 2:25 pm
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| I actually say this sometimes, or substitute horse for dog. |
I'm forever advocating the use of 20's terminology in modern society.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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Thu Mar 09, 2025 2:44 pm
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Make a word filter to replace "bar" with "speakeasy".
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Bismark
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1639
Location: ...blue?
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Thu Mar 09, 2025 3:04 pm
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I tried pushing "dames" a while ago, but it never stuck.
Super update, by the way. Great to have B back, to have Justin angry and to have Jon being amazing. "Clammy Sosa" made me snort, too.
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| Quote: |
| I don't even know where to begin as a director to say "okay, now make the firetruck land on these guys." |
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