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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ
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 Posted:
Tue Mar 07, 2025 11:48 pm
Post subject: 3/7 Yay springtime! |
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We updated!
https://www.progressiveboink.com/
B's back from his hiatus, the new spring layout is up, Classic P-boi is baseball themed, Jon & Justin have excellent, excellent posts this week... all is right with the world.
All will be right with the forum in the next few hours. You can just spend those reading the update.
EDIT: Hey B, before the Phanatic, our mascots actually WERE two people dressed as 18th century minutemen named Philadelphia Phil & Phyllis.
http://sportslogos.net/logo.php?lo=2256
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Jimbuktu
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 101
Location: NY, NY
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Tue Mar 07, 2025 11:59 pm
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The Spring theme is ... BEAUTIFAL! So pleasing on the eyes!
On to the posts!
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www.ZubazPants.com, almost as good as Sean Mooney interviewing Slick and the Warlord prior to the Bulldog-Warlord match at Wrestlemania VII. Definitely not as good as the Hart Foundation seg. "We don't think you're nasty, we think you're SCUM!" |
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Justin
woof woof woof woof
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 2051
Location: Mashpee, MA
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:29 am
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Jon, I know we've talked about the subject of your article before, but this is the first time I've actually felt uncomfortable for laughing at a post on this website. I mean that in a good way, too. I mean, its hilarious to see what else can be bought for the same price as global stability, but on the other side, I feel guilty for trivializing his accomplishment.
Anyway, your article was very good. I'm glad you kept your personal commentary until the end and let the facts speak for themselves.
| B wrote: |
| They're like a team of Poochies. When the ZOOperstars are not on the field, fans should ask, "where's ZOOperstars?" |
Hahahahahaha.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote] |
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DJ Jazzy Jeff
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 745
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 12:36 am
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pretty!
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endlessmike
CUP OF WATER W/ A SPRINKLE OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 461
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 2:03 am
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i like the design! even though i still want it to be winter in real life.
well, you guys had me laughing
| B wrote: |
| like the assurance that the ZOOperstars are going to command any crowd's undivided attention. Sure could've used you guys during the Civil Rights Movement. |
| Justin wrote: |
| That's the only reason we were able to tolerate receiving a bunch of crap which looked like it had been pulled from the bucket of "prizes" they'd let you pick from after a visit to the dentist. |
Jon, this was a very informative and thought-provoking article, but i thought the way it was structured was a little awkward. (meting out in pieces to juxtapose with the auction items) |
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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 2:05 am
Post subject: |
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You guys might want to do a hard refresh (Ctrl+F5 for Windows users) on the forum.
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Alicia
Dave Hansen Groupie
Joined: 10 Dec 2025
Posts: 717
Location: Torrance, CA
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 2:53 am
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Alright, I don't know what the hell Ctrl + F5 does on Windows, but when I did it in Safari, my computer talks to me? It's called "Voiceover". I thought Mike had added some sort of feature or recording or something.
| My computer wrote: |
| Voiceover on. Safari. Progressive BOOYYoink. Post reply window. Act button. |
Seriously, what the fuck, it's really tripping me out. It says every letter and button I push.
| My computer wrote: |
| New line. New line. |
Anyway
| My computer wrote: |
| Voiceover off. |
I like the new layout, it's fun. Hopefully after this week I'll be able to catch up on articles finally.
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icesk8erkn: WHO R THO |
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DJ Jazzy Jeff
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 745
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 3:01 am
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I particularly like the snowmen.
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SundownMotel
horrifically mind numbing
Joined: 09 Nov 2025
Posts: 1109
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 3:33 am
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Jon: wow. That was really amazing. Thank you for that.
Justin: This is my new favorite article of yours. Hilarious.
B: Sweet mercy. Looks like you had a billion pounds of funny stored up from your hiatus, because precious Christ, I don't think I've laughed that hard at an article on this site since Gwyneth Paltrow NSE. The Clammy Sosa segment alone was like a fucking SALVO. I was crying and couldn't breathe, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.
| GataGoomba wrote: |
| Feast upon my precious torso coin |
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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 4:01 am
Post subject: |
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| Alicia wrote: |
| Alright, I don't know what the hell Ctrl + F5 does on Windows, but when I did it in Safari, my computer talks to me? It's called "Voiceover". I thought Mike had added some sort of feature or recording or something. |
Yeah, see, that's why I wasn't talking to you. I don't know how to do a hard refresh on a Macintosh.
| DJ Jazzy Jeff wrote: |
| I particularly like the snowmen. |
Yeah, see, that's why I WAS talking to you, jerky.
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DJ Jazzy Jeff
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 745
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 4:13 am
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Just had to reply and say "I knoooooooow and I was being cheeeeeeky. "
But I did click on a snowman when I replied just now...
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DJ Jazzy Jeff
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 745
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 4:13 am
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Hey Thomas Haden Church it changed
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Alicia
Dave Hansen Groupie
Joined: 10 Dec 2025
Posts: 717
Location: Torrance, CA
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 4:14 am
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I know you weren't talking to me, I just wanted to try it. That's pretty cool though, I had no idea my computer had that feature or what it's used for exactly. Ha. It's only cool for a minute though. Hard refresh on a Mac is apple + R.
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icesk8erkn: WHO R THO |
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DJ Jazzy Jeff
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 745
Location: Los Angeles, California
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 5:06 am
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Jon, that's a great article. I just watched "Dr. Strangelove" for the first time last week...and when it was over I had to call my dad ask ask him, worried, "Is there really a doomsday device?"
Great article.
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Mike
The king of pop
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 1674
Location: Weird NJ
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 8:18 am
Post subject: |
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Aw, I still loves ya, kiddo.
| Justin wrote: |
| For starters, Easter toys always suck. |
Not in 1990 a la casa de Fireball, they didn't.
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Kirbyoto
DIET SODER POP
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1478
Location: Pfft
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 9:01 am
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Spring layout looks great, as they all do/have. The articles for this week were awesome, and Jon's was...inspiring, really. I want to find this guy and give him...something. I don't know. Something to say "thanks".
EDIT: Also, Justin, a Starcraft reference, a FF/Jesus reference, and a joke about Carlos Mencia all in one article? That, my friend, is a Hat Trick.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????
Last edited by Kirbyoto on Wed Mar 08, 2025 10:34 am; edited 1 time in total |
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dlomyhero
Associate
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 1325
Location: i would like a donuts --kyle
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| Posted:
Wed Mar 08, 2025 9:35 am
Post subject: |
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| I felt like Big Pete wanting to really BE Mr. Tasty's friend. I wanted to learn about him, ask him if he had any friends. Now I mostly look back fondly and wonder if he was really just Pete Rose in disguise. |
So many references, my head almost exploded.
| Quote: |
| The Phanatic does what the chicken does (baby harassing, old man polish) with this weird underlying sense that he might actually start hurting people. |
At Phillies games, they attach a hot dog shooter to the front of his ATV. Last year on Opening Day, the launcher wasn't working; hot dogs just kinda trickled out and plopped onto the dirt (they were in foil, don't worry). But they kept trying to make it work, and I was extremely fearful that it would just launch a weiner into someone's forehead. They were like, 10 feet from the crowd and the cannon had started to point down. Instead, they just tossed the hot dogs into the crowd.
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Asked yesterday whether it would eventually release a revised edition of "Opal Mehta," a little brown spokesman declined to comment. |
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Neil
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 10 Aug 2025
Posts: 720
Location: Wyandotte, MI
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 10:13 am
Post subject: |
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NLHN Random Links:
Warning: MagpieRSS: Failed to fetch http://national02.nationallampoon.com/NL_RSS/index.php?option=com_jambolink&task=syndicate&feed=RSS2.0&type=randomcat (HTTP Response: HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden ) in /home/.lavern/pboi/progressiveboink.com/magpierss/rss_fetch.inc on line 238
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/.lavern/pboi/progressiveboink.com/lampoon.txt on line 11 |
Those are some cool random links!
Edit:
The link at the end of Jon's article 404's (Return to Progressive Boink points to https://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/1000/www.progressiveboink.com which doesn't work)
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait im sorry i made almost 2 million dollars last year to throw 20 fastballs every three or four days haha sorry jackalope capitalism rules |
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pholby
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 690
Location: schmocation
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 10:49 am
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In addition to the problems Justin pointed out with the 'three peep monty' comic, the rabbit pictured is clearly playing the shell game, not three card monty. In addition, they're playing it with more than 1 peep, which is just crazy.
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"You're a pussy, Strong!"
"Woah woah woah." |
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DGMacphee
CUP OF WATER W/ A HANDFUL OF SUGAR
Joined: 09 Aug 2025
Posts: 979
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Wed Mar 08, 2025 10:59 am
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B and Justin wrote some damn funny pieces this week. However, a big thumbs up to Jon. I just sat there reading his article and saying aloud, "Holy shit... what a damn creative motherfucker!"
And something I've noticed is that Jon has been doing some very masterful articles lately -- in terms of both design and content. Keep up the good work and keep on blowing our minds.
Just a slight note: the last page, the Return to Progressive Boink link doesn't work.
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A suitable ending, I think! |
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