The irrational fears thread

[SundownMotel]

I know everyone has a couple.

I am afraid that if I were to eat sweets and fall asleep with my teeth unbrushed, I would awaken to find my mouth SWARMING WITH ANTS.
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And this is a promise, because this is true. This is real. This is Straight Edge.

[Jim]

Bees (Bees!?). That includes honey bees, bumble bees, hornets, wasps, etc. For years, it was a completely unfounded fear. However, a few summers ago, I was mowing a lawn, when I bumped the mower into one of those t-section laundry line poles, and my head just so happened to be near one of the openings. Luckily for me, a swarm of hornets came out right by my face! I ran like I had never ran before.

Later that summer, I was mowing my own lawn, when I decided to take care of the long crab grass that was growing at the base of the border around our yard. I bumped the mower into the wood, and, wouldn't you know it, I pissed off another hive. I was swarmed by hornets, and covered with the fuckers. I only got stung a few times (though being stung once on the temple is one time too many), but being covered by them was fucking terrifying. I went inside to collect myself and wash my face, when I heard a nice buzz, and felt something in my shirt. I just sorta flicked it around until the little bastard flew out, then I booked out of the bathroom and didn't go back in until someone had sprayed the shithead with Raid.

To this day, if I've got Raid nearby and I see a hornet or wasp, I kill them without question. I fucking hate them with my whole being.
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[Greg]

Hornets and Wasps are Satan Sperm, but don't kill bees. Bees are just nice.
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[Alicia]

Bees aren't too irrational though. I once went on a camping trip and got stung 3 times in one weekend. The third one? Stung me while I was sitting on a bench in the back of my leg, right where my knee was bent. I figured it was a stick and I went to pull it out and fucking was holding the bee in my hand.

My two irrational fears are breathing hot air because I feel like I'm suffocating and vacuums. The hot air one is dwindling down though because I'm always cold and I've grown to love hot air. But I'm as scared of vacuums as my dog is. I cannot stand loud, useless noises. I hate the sound of lawnmowers and whatnot. If anyone ever asks me to vacuum a room, I'll ask them if they'd rather me dust the entire house instead. I actually like doing that.
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icesk8erkn: WHO R THO

[K-Funk All-Star]

Spiders. I know they're relatively harmless, but they're ICKY.

I also have a fear of getting lost. I'll have consulted three different maps and gotten thorough directions beforehand, but I still freak out that I'm going to miss a turn, get totally lost, and end up in the ghetto or something. This is why, if I'm not sure where I'm going, I make Ben drive.

Also: Before they tore it down, I was absolutely freaked out by the Hubcap House. It was a place of business that was in Peoria - it was a house, entirely covered by hubcaps, that sold...um...hubcaps.
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[spookymuffin]

Roaches. EWW.

I wasn't scared until I saw the movie Creepshow, where the guy lives in his apartment and all these roaches come out of everywhere. Oh fuck that was so gross.
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[Kirbyoto]

Continuing on the crawly things theme, millipedes freak me out. Also moths.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN?????

[wee bull]

Needles. Hate 'em.

It's something to do with the piercing of my skin and going deep into my flesh that just makes me shudder at the thought of them. The weird thing is, although I've never had one, something like a tattoo needle doesn't scare me at all, other than the "doesn't it hurt?" aspect, but medical needles get me every time. I hate having them done in hospital, and I cringe and look away when I see a close up of anyone getting injected on TV.

[Chin Chang Chui]

I'm afraid I'm going to fall face first on an ice rink and be knocked out cold, only to have some one skate over my tounge.
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Only Americans eat the sauce.

[Sami]

I've mentioned this in the ten things thread, but bananas freak the shit out of me.

I don't know why. It could be their texture, or the way they look all weird and crumbly, or their smell. I was once in a movie theater and I could actually smell someone eating a banana behind me. I didn't even look, I just got up and left.
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Friction.

[Justin]

Just... fucking... just bugs in general. Which is why I live up north. Its way too cold for most bugs to cultivate any sort of long-term habitat. That's fine with me. I'll take eight months of uncomfortable weather if it means no monster bugs are going to eat me in my sleep as I'm sure happens most other places in the country.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Kyle]

Justin...I...I thought you knew. I'm a giant bug!
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WHEN THE AFRICAN LION ATTACKS

[Justin]

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[White Panther]

Justin, you should visit Costa Rica. You can't imagine the rush you get knowing you have to check your bed every night for scorpions. Also, spiders that are large enough that you can HEAR them running across the floor.

Mine: the ocean. I love the ocean (Na-hiiiiiiiiiy) but I really believe that its trying to kill me. Its very large and very strong and I feel completely helpless when I'm in the water.
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[gotmyphilosophy]

haunted houses.

when i was five or six, i went into the haunted house at the minnesota state fair with my parents. at first i was so scared my mom had to carry me. then, during a flash of what i'm sure was a strobe light, her face turned into a werewolf face. i flipped out and had to be carried down the emergency exit.

i do not like my loved ones' faces to be werewolf faces, ergo, no more haunted houses for me, ever.
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Soy loco por las Cornballs

[dlomyhero]

[Bismark]

Pieces of machinery or bolts or something randomly shooting out of their housing and into my temple while I'm driving.

Meteorites.

Choking while I'm alone.

Anything that could kill me, and that would leave me with the final thought: "Oh, what? Oh c'mon, that's so fucking lame."
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[Mando]

Being outside by myself at night because I'm afraid that I'll be abducted by aliens. When I have to go outside for something at night, I'll do it as fast as possible.


That's really all I'm afraid of. I would have said I was afraid of roaches, but I'm really not, I just hate the things. I'm not afraid of them because, well, I'm much bigger than they are and I can squish them or flush them down the toilet. I'm really not afraid of anything that I can think of, which is really weird, I guess.
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My pumpkin is more scene than your pumpkin.

[Lindy]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Motherfuckin' snakes.

Hate them. Have nightmares about them. I flip out if there is one without five feet of me that is not behind a glass enclosure. Even then I feel uncomfortable.
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shrieking raccoon on a jetpack

[Bismark]

We were talking about this kind of thing the other day at work and this girl started to explain that she has an irrational fear of frogs. After all of us tossing around snake and spider horror stories, the idea of being afraid of a frog got a laugh out of everyone. But she explained that she grew up in Puerto Rico, and began as a friend to the massive frog population down there.

Until, one day, she put hot sauce on one of them.

What the fucking hell.

So it started freaking out and chasing her. Then all of the other frogs around started chasing her. She swears that, since that day, she is chased by armies of frogs when she walks by a pond, like they've got her picture up in frog post offices.

She gets what she deserves for hot saucing one of them. Jesus.

Spring will be fun. Our building borders a pond to the extent that our front ramp is a plankway over part of it. Frogs are almost always seen in the muck right alongside. I swear to God I thought she was going to quit when I told her that.
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