My Answer To Why The Japanese Make Such Wierd Porn

[Funk Master Steven]

Have you ever seen those crazy Japanese TV shows? Or even some Japanese made porn?

It is some of the craziest, sickest, nastiest shit you will ever see. Chicks vomiting on each other and eating each other's vomit, chicks pissing on windmills for big cash prizes, even guys running around town jerking off in ladies faces when they bend over to tie there shoes.

Most of us have probably asked ourselves “how is that erotic?” or “how can anyone get off on that?”

Well after extensive research on the subject I have compiled two theories.

The first being "The Over Population=Desensitization Theory".

Japan is home to a dense population of many men and women. Do to this they probably have seen there family members naked plenty do to the lack of space. And everyone knows lack of space equals lack of privacy. So it’s easy to imagine how it would become normal to see there family naked; therefore making all nudity less erotic and more ordinary.

So do to the fact that nudity would be so common, they have had to resort to different and often unusual things to get them off. There are different things to do in America as well, but a lot of those things are either relatively new or have just started becoming more and more mainstream. But Japan has been around for forever, they have had centuries to find new things to do. That’s why I think they have evolved past what we find erotic, and dived right into plain sick.

The second theory is "The Small Penis Theory".

After watching many Japanese porno’s of the more mainstream variety (standard sex) I have come to the realization many Japanese men in these movies have small penises.

Then I thought about it this way, when we usually make porn we get people with big wangs. So if these were the biggest wangs they could get in Japan then people in Japan must not be as well endowed as the rest of the world.

There for, I believe do to the below average size of the male organ, they have resorted to different methods of pleasure; methods that require little to no penis action.

In conclusion, I belives do to the two contributing factors of over population and small johnsons the Japanese have resorted to these methods of getting freaky.

I think my my findings should be printed in a scientific journal, if you agree email gbronson@sciam.com of the popular science magazine http://www.sciam.com/ and tell him that he should publish this article.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Kyle]

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WHEN THE AFRICAN LION ATTACKS

[Funk Master Steven]

?
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Justin]

I'm not going to give you much shit because you're pretty young, but angry rants are about the worst way for somebody to make a name for themselves on the Internet. They don't require much thought and most of the topics are things your readers are going to agree upon anyway. Like, we all know Oprah sucks. Do we really need somebody else to point it out for us?

There's room to be angry in writing. Just try and steer away from making it your focal point. Maddox already has that market cornered.

Oh, and work on your grammar & spelling. Nobody is going to take you seriously if you can't discern between "their" and "they're." If you expect us to read, respect us by double-checking what you've written.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Funk Master Steven]

Did you read the article?

It wasn't a rant at all, it was a theory. I don't remember linking my site anywhere but I guess I did.

But my Oprah article was just be being pissed at some chicks in class who were talking about Oprah. If you read "Random Thoughts I" or "The Eating Contest" or some of my other non-rants you would see that those arn't the only things I write.

And I think me and Maddox's writing styles are differn't but either way this wasn't a rant at all bro.

And I put my shit through grammar and spell check. I already posted this article on a few other forums and got nothing but positive feedback, I'm not saying you should like it but I'm just saying other people have read it and didn't get pissed at the grammar mistakes but I'll try and work on fixing those.

Also, your talking about making a name for yourself and that rants wont do it. Most of the shit I "Rant" about are points no one else has made and arn't just mindless fucks you's and shit like that.

http://funkmastersteven.com/view.php?id=61 Thats "The Eating Contest"

http://funkmastersteven.com/view.php?id=22 This is "Random Thoughts I"

Oh and this quoting the person above you thing is an honest mistake. I am a forum rat on alot of other forums and don't have this rule so I'll try to break the habbit here.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Justin]

Okay, it wasn't a rant so much as it was a long trip to a short (Thomas Haden Church) conclusion. The Japanese having small penises joke has been done to death already. South Park put the final nail in the coffin a few years back.

And yeah, man. You're treading a lot of old ground in your writing. Oprah, anti-smoking, using gay as a derogitory comment et all... Its been done before & you're not putting a different slant on any of it.

Also, grammar counts. It shows a lack of effort on the writer's part and if rudimentary mistakes can't be fixed, why should I waste my time reading? If it bothers me, its only because I'd expect it of myself as well.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Funk Master Steven]

"Gay and Retarded" article was somthing I was assigned to write for class and decided I'd put it up on the web, in the article I tell in the beging the teacher assigned me to talk about why we shouldn't, I wrote about why we should.

The japanese having a small penis joke wasn't there to be offensive, it was apart of a theory.

Find me an anti smoking article like the one I wrote and I'll shut up, same with the gay and retarded article. And in the japanese theory it wasn't a long read to a small conclusion. The conclusion was stated in the beging and I built on it with two theorys.

It dosn't even seem like you read any of my articles, sounds like you skimmed through them, or even the titles. I would appreciate it if you actually would read the article.

And on the grammar, dude I know my grammar isn't perfect. If your obessing over that then thats your problem not mine because plenty of other people seem to be able to understand it.

Also, I hate my age being brought into any situation. People seem to treat you differntly when they find out how old you are so please don't do it again, this is a polite request.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Justin]

[Funk Master Steven]

[quote="Justin"]

[Justin]

Stop playing the "if you don't like it you can giiiiiiiit out!" card with me, pal. I don't care if the President of Awesome took time out out of playing videogames and eating pizza to congratulate you on your monumental contribution to humanity. I don't like your writing. If you want me to tell you good job and haha man you're right they sure are small!!! I will, but I'd prefer honesty.

Okay. I just finished the article about you putting ol' teach in his place. His feeble wit stands no match to your witty rejoinder! Kudos to you sir. The day is won.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Funk Master Steven]

How about this card "Go fuck your self bitch ass" ?

You post a review that was based on a skimming of my article. Then procede to diss the other articles on my site that you admitted to not reading either. I'm not asking for a "good job boyo" I'm asking for some feedback on an article by someone who read it.

Your pissed because I shut your ass down on your own forum, go cry yourself to sleep and don't diss my shit again till you read it.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Alicia]

[Lindy]

I read your article and I agree with Justin. There is a lot to be desired. Take the grammar comment as constructive criticism.

Plus attacking someone who said that they didn't enjoy what you wrote isn't any way to win you credibility.
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shrieking raccoon on a jetpack

[Funk Master Steven]

No Lindy, I have been told by people they don't dig my shit, I don't mind.

But he dissed it without actually reading it, and then admitted it.

And I do take the grammar comment constructivly.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Justin]

wah wah i'm telling mom on you!!!

Here's a question. If Oprah did charity work and recieved no publicity for doing it, how would you know she'd done it in the first place? For that matter, how do you know she isn't? Your entire argument centers around how somebody should be doing something while keeping no record of themselves doing it, thus making it impossible for you to know it had been done.

Just because she can do MORE doesn't undermine the things she has done. And now you've got me defending fucking Oprah.

Jesus Christ, dude.
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]

[Funk Master Steven]

[Funk Master Steven]

[Alicia]

[Funk Master Steven]

Thomas Haden Church yeah, I can't spell and didn't feel the need to spell check it. Obviously you understood what I meant though.
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If I were a midget I would have to get things custom made for me. But I would get everything made a foot or so smaller than perfect size. Then I could feel like a giant everyday.

[Justin]

And yeah man, FUCK the Roman coliseum! Fuckin' assholes, don't they know it was built by slaves? While we're at it, blow up the transcontinental railroad, the pyramids, and most every other piece of cultural significance, because prior to the 20th century, most things were built using cheap slave labor.

And who cares about maintaining a sense of cultural propriety? Fuck that right in the ass with a big stone dildo!
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[quote="Bismark"]Didn't you know? Having uncontrollable shits is wicked scene.[/quote]