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SCUBA_Instructor: Okay, we're going to learn a lot about the instruments and the environment before we head out, so let's start with the basics. "Scuba" is actually an acronym that stands for... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: self contained underwater breathen apparatus whatta you take us for a couple a rubes |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: booty kyle didnt endure 2 semesters a basket weaven at abraham baldwin agricultural w/o learnen a thinger too about facts |
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DoctorProctor: Haha, yeah! What're we supposed to do, BREATHE UNDERWATER OURSELVES? Who are we, AQUAMAN? |
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DoctorProctor: Hey Kyle, you prolly watched Superfriends when you were little, right? Did you ever notice how useless Aquaman was? lol |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what the fuck scott did yer mom drop you when you were bornt and then start stompen you when you was on the floor |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: aquaman does not 'talk to fishes' he has telepathy that allows him to talk to marine life |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: on top of that he is super strong an super fast an king of a race of peoples so hes like pr0FF3ss0r_X plus underwater superman |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: taken into consideration that 75% of the fucken earth is covert in water that means that aquaman will kick yer ass in new radicals stile on almost half the globe |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: limiten his powers to water makes him only inconvenient for day to day superheroism not useless why dont you read a fucken book scott |
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DoctorProctor: Sorry Kyle it was just my opinion |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Ok fellas I'm going to need you to pay attention to me here for a second... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: opinions are like assholes scott, yours is wrong |
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SCUBA_Instructor: ...before you dive, make sure your breathing gas is at ambient pressure or else the water pressure is gonna crush your lungs when you get to a certain depth... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what the fuck is water |
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DoctorProctor: You know who I always liked? Booster Gold! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: i am going to piss into these tanks sos that the air you breathe is my rancid banana sauce you stooge |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Also, could you please ask your friend there to stop eating my boat? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: sidney stop eaten scuba steves boat |
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Ponson1LegAtATime: bleargh nyaaaarrgggghhh /gnaws oar |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Jesus, why did you guys sign him in the first place? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: oh we sign everybody up. if we sign all the good players an all the bad players that leaves no players fer the other teams |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: folks like the rockies end up starten stadium janiters in left field an all you gotta do to get it outta the infield is hit it past the mastcot |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: some teams dont even got that and start incomplete players maken it a peace'o pies to beat out a single when the 1B is just jeff kents left leg |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: its pretty sweet bein a yankee my shit dont even stink it smells like pot purry |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Well, okay. Before I let you get in the water, we need to go over the- |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: wait what the fuck is water |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: wait what the fuck am i doen out here in a boat |
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DoctorProctor: You were dissatisfied with the new chatroom Jeter downloaded and since the name of that program is "Triton" you vowed to kill the Greek God or Disney character of said name. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: wait which disney character is he |
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DoctorProctor: Uh, Triton. From "The Little Mermaid?" |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: triton eh |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: !!! i've got it: theres a song in the film callt 'under the sea,' which gives away his location: UNDER THE SEAS. |
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DoctorProctor: Right, which is why we're out on a boat! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: scott you twat triton doesnt live in a boat he lives UNDERNEATH THE SEAS |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you, are you, brain damaged? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: brain damaged like a fox |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: come along eff-scott, our next destination: a couple of feet below us~!!!!!! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: /places oxygen tank between legs like a horse
/jumps into ocean |
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DoctorProctor: buh buh buh /clutches oxygen tank tightly to chest
/jumps into ocean
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Ponson1LegAtATime: hooomph /bites into oxygen tank
/collapses onto deck |
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**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth, DoctorProctor, and Ponson1LegAtATime have left the chatroom. |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Sigh, okay, is there anybody left? |
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MiltonBradley: I'm still here! I can't wait to learn how to SCUBA dive! What does "SCUBA" mean again? |
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SCUBA_Instructor: /struggles to not make eye contact |
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MiltonBradley: It means something else, right? Like, self-contained underwater...something? |
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SCUBA_Instructor: Here, don't hurt me! /throws money at MiltonBradley
/dives into the ocean |
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**Online Host**
SCUBA_Instructor has left the chatroom. |
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MiltonBradley: aw man |
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MiltonBradley: brotha dont know how to pilot no boat |
