| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1991 chatroom. | |
| MouthOfTheSouth: Check it out! Me, Ted Turner! Time Magazine's Person of the Year! | |
| bobby-coxer: Pretty impressive, boss. But aren't you part of the Time Warner corporation or something? | |
| MouthOfTheSouth: well no not yet not technically | |
| MouthOfTheSouth: Anyway, as Person of the Year, I am allowed to make a decree. I hereby declare that my Atlanta Braves will win the division championship until a bigger douchebag than myself takes the throne and says otherwise. Pull the proverbial douchebag sword out of the douchebag stone, if you will! | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1992 chatroom. | |
| ClintonTarantino: I, BILL CLINTON, Person of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| BreamCatcher: Nope! I've got to get to the playoffs so I can make Barry Bonds look like a limp-wristed little girl. | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1993 chatroom. | |
| GeorgeClooneyBlockbuster: We, THE PEACEMAKERS, Persons of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| GantHardlyWait: No, sorry. We've got to make Barry Bonds look like even more of a bum than we did last year. | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1994 chatroom. | |
| TheTwoGoodBeatles: I, POPE JOHN PAUL II, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| Pendle2000LB: Hey, the Expos are six games up on us in mid-August. Things aren't looking too hot. Little help? | |
| TheTwoGoodBeatles: Oh fine. /miracle |
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| **OnlineHost** The season has ended due to a strike. | |
| Pendle2000LB: :) | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1995 chatroom. | |
SheTurnedMeIntoANewt: I, NEWT GINGRICH, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. |
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| attack_of_the_clontz: well actually i'm going to have an ERA of like 40.54 and blow a save every single night so the hitting can bail me out and i can steal like 10 wins from greg maddux en route to a world championship | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1996 chatroom. | |
YukonHo: I, AIDS researcher DAVID HO, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. |
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AndMyLastName4All: Wait, what are you Man of the Year for? Did you cure AIDS? |
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YukonHo: well actually no |
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AndMyLastName4All: So it's still not safe to find prostitutes in the alley and pay them ten bucks to have sex with me and let me call them Halle Berry. |
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YukonHo: i am afraid not |
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AndMyLastName4All: /career declines |
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| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1997 chatroom. | |
| HowStellaGotHerGroveBack: I, Intel CEO ANDREW GROVE, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| McGriffTheCrimeFred: No, because you see, we have to go the NLCS so we can lose to the Marlins because Eric Gregg thinks the strike zone is the goddamn batter's box | |
| McGriffTheCrimeFred: I mean seriously fuck that guy, livan hernandez could have thrown that ball to fucking roswell and he would have called it a strike oh my god it makes me mad just thinking about it aaal;rgmr5i86ftdjduiivjkfcj what a blind fat piece of worthless shit | |
| McGriffTheCrimeFred: i would like to retract that statement in the event that he ever dies at any point | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1998 chatroom. | |
| GiantWasteOfTime: We, BILL CLINTON and KENNETH STARR, Men of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| IJavyDream: oh man i bet you guys know all the lewinsky jokes. here's one for you | |
| IJavyDream: Q: what does monica lewinsky and a sausage have in common A: they both like to suck penis or wait, one likes to suck penis and one is a |
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| IJavyDream: nevermind fuck it anyway we're going to win 106 games and blow it in the first round of the playoffs blah blah blah | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 1999 chatroom. | |
| ItDontMatter2Bezos: I, Amazon.com founder JEFF BEZOS, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| Andraeiousometimesyw: Can't do it. This year we're going back to the World Series after a walkoff walk. Yep. A walkoff walk. To be honest, I was a little happy about it, but for the most part I just thought it was really funny. | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2000 chatroom. | |
| bush_league: I, GEORGE W. BUSH, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| RockYourMother: listen I know that you're a douchebag but i think you and i are sort of a double negative here | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2001 chatroom. | |
| TheGiulianiTheory: I, Mayor RUDOLPH GIULIANI, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| TheGLAVINATOR: No. We'll make this a nice palindromic 11 in a row. | |
| TheGiulianiTheory: What the fuck? Come on! 88-74? You shouldn't win the division with less than 90 wins. | |
| TheGLAVINATOR: Well let's be honest, you shouldn't have been Man of the Year. What the hell did you even do? | |
| TheGiulianiTheory: after 9/11 i gave saturday night live permission to be funny again | |
| TheGLAVINATOR: ... You know how a lion chasing a herd of gazelle is so overwhelmed that he can't manage to fix his attention on a single one and kill it? That's me right now. |
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| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2002 chatroom. | |
| women_behaving_gladly: We, THE WHISTLEBLOWERS, Women of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Hey, here's a funny joke. What did Ken Lay say to himself? "Take the money en' Ron!" |
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| women_behaving_gladly: Haha, that is pretty funny! | |
| AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: No it isn't and you're all retarded. Just for that we're winning the division again. | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2003 chatroom. | |
| GIDP_Joe: I, THE AMERICAN SOLDIER, Person of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| maddux.xmission.com: Okay, Time Magazine is slacking off big-time these days. A generic soldier? That's the best they can come up with? Is next year's winner just going to be the editor's favorite shirt? | |
| GIDP_Joe: well I'm a metaphor for | |
| maddux.xmission.com: For what | |
| GIDP_Joe: other soldiers | |
| maddux.xmission.com: Do you realize that when we first started this division title streak, the first Gulf War was going on? | |
| GIDP_Joe: yeah i was 5 then | |
| maddux.xmission.com: okay that is fucked up | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2004 chatroom. | |
| bush_league: I, GEORGE W. BUSH, Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| jewish_smores: Again? | |
| bush_league: yep | |
| jewish_smores: Mmmmm...go provoke another couple of nations and deplete the exhaustible resource known as "civil liberties" and you might be enough of a douchebag. | |
| bush_league: k | |
| jewish_smores: p.s. orwellian nightmare jail to the thief no blood for oil and so on and so forth | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2005 chatroom. | |
| BoNosBaseball: I, BONO (and two other nobodies), Man of the Year, hereby declare that the Braves will lose the division. | |
| Francouest: Well I think we can all agree that you're kind of a huge douchebag, but if we can put up with all those other Person of the Year douchebags, I don't think we'll ever have to worry about losing the division ever again. | |
| BoNosBaseball: what's a matter are you scared, your skin is purple | |
| Francouest: okay you're inside and it's nighttime, take your god damn glasses off | |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Year 2006 chatroom. | |
| pr0ff3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: i KYLE FARNSWORTH pimpasaur of the year hereby declare that the braves will lose the division | |
bobby-coxer: wh- but- how- |
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bobby-coxer: well yeah okay |
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| pr0ff3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: bitchs |
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