ballistic_mitchell: Okay, we're now recording. Please begin.

Mark2Nite: /clears throat

Mark2Nite: /takes sip of water

Mark2Nite: CHAPTER ONE, or CENTURY THE TWENTY-FIRST. Alternately titled, THAT TIME IN WHICH WE REACH ONLY THE SUMMIT OF A FOOTHILL.

Mark2Nite: When the Twenty-First Century was in her infancy, she observed a polarization of wealth and fortune she had never before seen. Millions lived like kings; billions lived like dogs.

Mark2Nite: Early in her life she was pockmarked with unilateral wars, some justified, some not. America swung her arm as if delivering a roundhouse. The world was left with a blackened eye, but no lessons were learned. Borders were drawn.

Mark2Nite: The years passed, and the rift between the rich and poor swelled as if bitten by a wasp.

Mark2Nite: In her twenties, the Twenty-First Century despaired to see her dear friend, Africa, finally collapse under the weight of hungry souls and rising waters.

Mark2Nite: The warming of the atmosphere had finally planted its claws. The poor again suffered, and the rich, who had brought it all about, simply moved inland and built again. For them, it was not a calamity, but an opportunity; an excuse to build more beautiful and more often.

Mark2Nite: By her fortieth birthday, Africa was but a bleached canvas; a hasty replacement for the late Antarctica. Billions died. The rich continued to build, and enrich, and fortify.

Mark2Nite: There was, though, honor among the wealthy after all. China, America and Europe reconciled their major disputes and forged friendship. The world's other sovereign nations flowed as street rainwater into the sewers. South America identified with the North; Russia with China.

Mark2Nite: Many died. Those that lived, lived well. Wars were no less frequent, but far less consequential.

Mark2Nite: Information flowed as never before. The Twenty-First Century slowly began to shed the world's pessimism and short-sightedness like she would a wedding dress.

Mark2Nite: When she turned seventy-nine, the world had never looked better. Indeed, it was as if Man was walking away from his adolescence and making the journey into adulthood. All was changing, and all were happy.

Mark2Nite: And one wonders why events are timed as they are. Of course, on her seventy-ninth birthday, the GREAT LIGHT appeared in the sky--

ballistic_mitchell: Hey, hey, hey, hold up. Look, I'm on a schedule. I'm going to have to stop you here.

ballistic_mitchell: Did you do steroids?

Mark2Nite: I'm not here to talk about the past.

ballistic_mitchell: ok well i'm out like a dead kid in dodgeball

PECOTA: YOU MUST READ THEM NOTHING MORE FROM THIS BOOK; IT IS TOO SOON

Mark2Nite: At least let me tell them the part about the robo-Castro.

PECOTA: YOU MUST NOT

Mark2Nite: Dude. C'mon. His pee and poop come out of the same place. That's so funny.