The Dugout
By Jon - 7-30-06
Click pictures for player info.

  **OnlineHost** You have entered the 2005 Atlanta Braves chatroom.
  **OnlineHost** bobby-coxer has been marooned on a remote tropical island in the Pacific.


bobby-coxer: /discovers box

/tears open box


Wilson_Betemit: /motionless



bobby-coxer: Why...who is this? What's your name?



Wilson_Betemit: /speechless


bobby-coxer: /checks box

Wilson, is it? Well, Wilson! It seems we're stuck here. I'm gonna set you up right over here by this rock, all right?



Wilson_Betemit: /does not object



bobby-coxer: There!

Wilson, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm all alone here. My payroll's down and my team is full of rookies. How am I supposed to make the playoffs like this?



bobby-coxer: /furiously rubs two sticks together

This is how you do it, right? I've never done this before.



Wilson_Betemit: /does not demand more playing time



bobby-coxer: /rub rub rub

/rub rub rub rub rub rub

  **OnlineHost** A small fire has started.


bobby-coxer: /gasp

I HAVE DONE IT!!!




bobby-coxer: /raises arms

I

HAVE MADE PLAYOFFS

LOOK WILSON



Wilson_Betemit: /stares


bobby-coxer: HAHAHA WE DID IT WILSON



Wilson_Betemit: /still does not complain about lack of playing time

  **OnlineHost** You have entered the 2006 Atlanta Braves chatroom.


bobby-coxer: Wilson...we can't stay here. I am not going to spend the rest of my life on this island.



Wilson_Betemit: /listens



bobby-coxer: We can't survive here, that's all there is to it. We need a good setup man. I can't bear one more day of having to come up with a new statistical category for blowing 39-run leads whenever Jorge Sosa comes on for the eighth.



Wilson_Betemit: /does not encourage badmouthing; does not admonish either



bobby-coxer: Time to get to work. It's now or never.

/lashes together raft with cash and trade bait

/shoves off to sea

  **OnlineHost** Night has fallen. The raft tips and sways over the calm moonlit waters.


bobby-coxer: zzzzz



Wilson_Betemit: /does not wake him

  **OnlineHost** Night has fallen. The raft tips and sways over the calm moonlit waters.
  **OnlineHost** A vessel approaches.


double_dibble: HELLO FRIEND ARE YOU LOST



bobby-coxer: Wilson! We're saved!



Wilson_Betemit: /does not answer yet



Ghost_Of_ChristmasYost: YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN IN NEED OF MIDDLE RELIEF



Kolbb: whats up cap'n?

oh those poor people are adrift! HOLD ON I'LL SAVE YOU



bobby-coxer: oh shit not that guy

All right, just don't answer. Pretend you don't see him.


Wilson_Betemit: /silent



Kolbb: /dives off ship

/misses water



bobby-coxer: Whew. All right, let's sail on. Way to stay quiet, Wilson. Right as always.



Wilson_Betemit: /does not boast

  **OnlineHost** Hours pass.


bobby-coxer: zzzzz



Wilson_Betemit: /does not hold any ill will

  **OnlineHost** Wilson_Betemit has left the chatroom.


bobby-coxer: zzzz-nyuh

/looks up



bobby-coxer: My God. MY GOD! A middle reliever! Do you see him?



bobby-coxer: Wilson, do you see him?

Wilson?



bobby-coxer: WIIILLLSOOOONNNNN


bobby-coxer: /sobs

WILSON I'M SORRY
I'M SO SORRY



BaezBelongs2Danys: hi coach



bobby-coxer: /sniff

So are you my new middle reliever?



BaezBelongs2Danys: yes my name is danys



bobby-coxer: Danys? Are there two of you?



BaezBelongs2Danys: no but i have the ERA of two men



bobby-coxer: fuck it, i'll just make smoltz pitch 1458 innings a year

  **OnlineHost** You have entered the Los Angeles Dodgers chatroom.


Misnomar: Well, kid, I heard you've been thinking about moving to first base. I'm starting there every game, so don't get your hopes up.



Wilson_Betemit: /does not dignify that with a response



Misnomar: I'm sorry, did you say something? Yesterday I shattered my ear muscle while putting on my shoes.

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com