The Dugout
By B - 9-7-07
Click pictures for player info.

**Online Host**
Welcome to the Boston Red Sox Chatroom!

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: Advice number one: Do NOT strike out Ortizinator.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i dunno home-bo thats gonna be in contra diction to my natch in-stincts

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: Ideally, if we're on the same team, you won't ever pitch to me in a game, so if you're trying to strike me out, you're doing it wrong.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sleep with one eye open

exit light enter night

off to never never land big ploppy

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: augh, you're doing it wrong

MannyTheTorpedoes: advice number fore help me hook up this gayme

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: thats a basketball you mung

KingOfPap: looool

StompinInTimlins: DON'T BE FRAID TO SHOOT THE OUTSIDE JAY, MAN

MannyTheTorpedoes: manny takes it to the hold /charges Papelbon

KingOfPap: o no

**Online Host**
MannyTheTorpedoes has charged the lane, went down on one knee, flipped a somersault, and crashed into KingOfPap

MannyTheTorpedoes: /puts up sky hook
/ball becomes inflated before leaving hands

StompinInTimlins: WHOA THAT WAS SOME TOM CHAMBERS NOISE RIGHT THERE

MannyTheTorpedoes: manny keying manny

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what the bitch is everybody on this team a grade-a retard

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: No, this is just our free spirit! We grow our hair, we make mistakes, but unlike those bastards in New York, we play for the love of the game.

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: When Damon played here he was a wild-eyed rebel. In New York he's some kind of weird Genesis "Land of Confusion" puppet.

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: In New York you had to conform to what the media MADE of you. In Boston, you're free to grow a mohawk or sit around pissing or playing X-Box! No big!

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: In New York, the fans turn on you in an INSTANT. In Boston, they at least wait until you're gone.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: why did you feel it necessary to bring mookie farnsworth to boston, he coulda hated the fucken yankees from new york

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: but

but you know

it feels comfertable here

like i can finally be myself

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hey guys you wanna play some videa games??

KingOfPap: shore !!!! !!!

MannyTheTorpedoes: fun tiems

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: awesome i love videa games, while we play we can talk about our legacies and how we are the best! Anybody got one of those green hats?

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: /crosses arms
/smiles devilishly

Dave Ortiz

OrtizItThisOne: Hey, does anybody else smell ginger root?

**Online Host**
The entire chatroom has begUn to rumble.

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: what the

NO! NOT NOW!

PECOTA: RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Online Host**
PECOTA! has burst up through the floor of the chatroom with flaming aplomb!

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: hisssss

PECOTA: FARNSWORTH! EXPOSE YOURSELF!

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: haha wholly shit you guys the mystical protractor of baseballs innocence wants to see my clamdigger

PECOTA: NOT YOU

THE OTHER ONE

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: NEVER!!!

StompinInTimlins: /interjects

PECOTA: FATALITY!

**Online Host**
StompinInTimlins has been uppercutted through the ceiling.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh green beans

/switches hats

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: kurrgggkkkkk ka ka ka ka ka ka
get_in_mirabelli: Hey, you aren't a Red Sock, what're you doing in our-
PECOTA: FATALITY!
  **Online Host**
get_in_mirabelli has been thrown through the Green Monster and onto the hood of a car

PECOTA: SCOURGE! YOUR TIME! HAS COME!

THE POWER! OF PECOTA COMPELS YOU!

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: kA KA KA KA KAAAAAAARREAARGGHHHH /TRANSFORM

/TRANSFORM

/TRANSFORM

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: REEEEEEEEEEE

P E C O T A A A A A

Y O U F O O L

Farnsworth pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hahaha what the fuckkkkk
PECOTA: I SHALL NOT FALL! /dives headfirst toward monster
  **Online Host**
PECOTA and F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y are engaged in a harrowing life and death struggle.

MannyTheTorpedoes: hol on crazy wraith manny will halp you

airplang attack gooo

whoooshhh

Dave Ortiz OrtizItThisOne: uh, Manny, you just stand over here with me and do earmuffs until I tell you to stop, 'kay?
MannyTheTorpedoes: /does earmuffs

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y: D I E E E E

/uses icey death touch

PECOTA: BLAST! /falls backwards

 

**Online Host**
The front of PECOTA's uniform has been destroyed, and smoke is flowing from his exposed chest.

F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y is trying to escape!

PECOTA: KYLE! THE BEAST IS TRYING! TO ESCAPE! USE YOUR

PECOTA: OH YOU'RE DOING IT ALREADY

OKAY THAT WORKS

 

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has charged and is now beating the hell out of F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y.

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth is still beating the hell out of F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth is really beating the hell out of F4rnsw0rth_b3ntl3y.

PECOTA: OKAY YOU CAN PROBABLY STOP NOW
Farnsworth

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /punches the shit out of kidneys

and this is for fucken up my wistful memories

PECOTA: THE BROTHER! I HAVE COME HERE TODAY TO ASK! OF YOU A GREAT FAVOR

EVERY THOUSAND YEARS! OUR UNIVERSE IS! SHADOWED BY-

Farnsworth pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: if you stop screamen evry fourth word and get me the damn out of boston forever i will do whatever you want
PECOTA: UH OKAY SURE
PECOTA: CHOOSE THE HAT THAT DEFINES YOU AND STEP INTO THIS HUMOROUSLY SMALL SIDECAR FASTENED TO THE SIDE OF! MY MYSTICAL CYCLE
Farnsworth pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you got it pecooter /switches hats
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: let's roll